Terra Nova, 11/14/11

Taylor and Rick are off fishing and, judging by the huge hunks of meat they’re using as bait, it ain’t for catfish. Back at TN, Elizabeth gets Maddy all super-nerd excited about the chance to meet Ken Horton, famed author and geologist, returning from a six-month expedition today. Horton’s convoy rolls into the opened gates with much fanfare and applause. Chief Science Officer Malcolm warmly welcomes him back; Horton calls him the wrong name then asks him to get the bags. I guess that title doesn’t carry as much weight as Malcolm thinks it does, heh. (Random: wow, did the character-creating department have a field day with this guy. He has longish, shaggy hair; walks with a limp and a cane; has a pronounced accent; and wears a skinny scarf looped and knotted around his neck and jodhpur pants tucked into knee-high boots. I think I know what I’m going to be next Halloween.)

Tom the Mole informs Josh that it’s time to do that favor for Mira. An illness has swept through the Sixers’ camp, Tom the Mole says, and they need a medicine: Azameth Schedule II Isomorph. (That’s a mouthful. What happened to simple names like Aspirin and Aleve?) The azameth is kept under tight security; Josh is going to have to steal Elizabeth’s key card to get it. Skye later tries to convince Josh not to do it and reminds him he doesn’t even really know if they can bring his girlfriend to TN. Strange that she should make that prudent point, when she’s the one who told Josh that Tom could do it in the first place. Anyway, Josh tells Tom that before he’ll get the meds, he wants proof that Cara’s coming. That night he’s sneaked into the Sixers’ camp (where I see not one sick person, mind you!), and Mira lets him talk to Cara via hologram/video phone-thingy for a few seconds. I’m imagining all kinds of ways that could’ve been faked, but it’s proof enough for Josh, and he agrees to get the azameth.

(Random: I want to know what “Maddy” is short for. Madeline? Margaret? Madison?) Maddy gushes to Horton about how awesome his book is; he asks her if she’d like to be his intern. She jumps at the chance and then starts the UH OHness. Firstly, she makes a dorky geologist joke, and Horton laughs like he’s never heard it, although it’s in his book. Secondly, she asks if he ever [did some sciencey thing], and he says no, despite the fact that in a response to fan mail she sent him years ago, he’d said he could wait to. Thirdly, upon examining that letter he sent her, Maddy realizes the signature on it doesn’t match the autograph he just signed on her book. Maddy’s troubled by all this, but Elizabeth brushes it off reminding her that Horton has had a stroke; maybe that explains the discrepancies.


Rick and Taylor are hiking back to their rover when they come across an abandoned campsite. The Sixers wouldn’t leave such an obvious camp, so Taylor assumes it’s Currin, the soldier he recently banished from TN. Taylor tells Rick to head on back to camp; he (Taylor) is staying OTG one more day. (That’s “outside the gate.” Learn your TN acronyms already!)


As Horton limps and Maddy walks around an apple orchard ruined by black mold, she gives him the letter, which he’d asked to see, then asks him about an expedition he went on. It was apparently a big deal, but he remembers nothing, blaming it on old age. He then tries to wow her by letting her release a colony of flying beetles that will eat the mold and save the apples (very cool special effect right there), but Maddy’s suspicions are not eased, especially when she later asks for the letter back and Horton claims to have misplaced it. Since Elizabeth didn’t take her seriously, Maddy runs her suspicions by Zoe. Who, as an adorable six-year-old, can’t really help, but does provide an excuse for us to get to hear Maddy explaining her hunches out loud all episode long. Maddy waits til Horton leaves the lab, then sneaks in to look for her letter. Just as she finds its burned remains in the trash; he comes back. She scoots under a table and watches as he stops using his cane and walks perfectly fine, then starts limping as he leaves. Old age and stroke can’t explain that away! Maddy suspects he’s an impostor. She tests the DNA from an envelope the real Horton licked against the DNA from a cup the might-be-fake Horton just drank from, sharing her theory with CSO Malcolm. Alas, the test results are a match. Alas again, the might-be-fake Horton was eavesdropping on the entire conversation.


Josh steals Elizabeth’s key card and takes it to Tom, who makes an unidentifiable copy and gives Josh a stun gun to use on the lowest setting in case anyone interrupts him. Josh breaks into the hospital and tries the key card, but it doesn’t work — Gee, thanks, Tom. — so Josh cranks the gun all the way up and shoots the locked cabinet doors. The blast throws him backward, but he staggers to his feet and does the job. Rick gets back to TN just in time to investigate to robbery.


Taylor finds Currin, who has a festering leg wound. Like the rest of us, Currin wonders if Taylor's there to kill him, but Taylor gives him something for the infection, puts maggots on the wound (They’ll eat the dead flesh, you see.), and scares off the bloody huge komodo dragon that bit Currin and is hanging around waiting for him to die. (Let's just call it, right here and right now: Taylor is the bad assiest bad ass ever to bad assify. The End.) Why's Taylor being so nice? It ain't cuz he's just feeling friendly. When Currin’s better, Taylor instructs him to go to the Sixers’ camp and become Taylor’s mole. If he does, Taylor might let him back into TN; if he doesn’t, Taylor might kill him. Currin chooses option A.

Refusing to let this go — I’m loving how Nancy Drew she is this episode — Maddy visits The Eye and finds out that the real Horton’s research assistant, who could well have licked closed and mailed that envelope, is now missing, and that just before Horton was scheduled to come to TN, an unidentified male’s body was found. Fake Horton enters The Eye just then, but before he can do anything to her, someone wanders in and Maddy takes off running. To go tell her mom? To go sound the alarm? No. To pick Zoe up from school. WTF? Anyway, she’s too late; Fake Horton has kidnapped Zoe to lure Maddy to the apple orchard. Maddy sends Zoe give Rick a coded message; he finds her just as Fake Horton is trying to induce death by spider bite. Whew!


Rick and Elizabeth chide Maddy (gently, cuz she was just almost murdered) about trying to handle this herself. Yeah! She could’ve at least told her hot boyfriend! During this conversation, Josh does that thing that only happens in movies/on television: wracked with guilt, he suddenly decides to come clean about the whole thing: trying to illegally get Cara on the next Pilgrimage, stealing the azameth, giving it to the Sixers, Tom being the mole. Tom is arrested (though I seriously doubt that the Sixers have only one mole in TN, so do your job, Currin.), during which Rick roughs him up cuz Rick's mad that Tom got Josh involved with the Sixers — in which case, it should really be Skye that Rick is slamming into walls.

When Taylor hears the Sixers can communicate with 2149 w/o the portal being open, he realizes his son Lucas is in cahoots with them. :( He looks so sad.

The Walking Dead, 11/13/11

Not that every woman who sleeps in is preggo or anything, but if Lori’s trying to hide the fact that she’s carrying Shane Jr., she should be a little more careful to stick to a normal routine. Anyway, once she’s finally up, Carol asks if she’d ask if it’d be ok if they cooked dinner for Doc and his peeps since, Carol says, Lori is the “unofficial First Lady.” Lori is amused by this.


Now that all the previously ailing are able, The Endless Search for Sophia (TESFS) resumes. Again. During planning, one of Doc’s people, a young fellow named Jimmy, says he’d like to help. (I immediately want to tell him this is a bad idea. It’s like on those old episodes of Star Trek when Kirk, Spok, and baby-faced young Ensign Smith would go off on a mission. Guess who wouldn’t make it back?) Ricks asks Jimmy if Doc’s ok with it; Jimmy says yes, then says he wants a gun. “People in hell want slurpees,” Daryl growls, LOL, then heads off to borrow a horse.

Glenn sits playing guitar on the porch; Maggie approaches. Not one to beat around the bush, he pointedly tells her there are eleven condoms left. She’s all, “You see eleven condoms; I see eleven minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” Hey, cut him some slack! He was nervous; plus you totally came out of nowhere with that proposition. I’m sure next time he’ll last at least fifteen! :)


Out in the forest, Shane and Rick have a pretty hilarious conversation recollecting past sexual conquests. Then they argue. Shane thinks that the fact that everyone’s still TESFSing is beyond ridiculous. I’m sorry, but … I agree with him. Rick says he feels responsible for Sophia cuz he was the one who got her lost. Off TESFSing on his own, Daryl is riding along when he sees Sophia’s doll in the river. He climbs down a steep embankment to retrieve it; then returns to his horse — which gets spooked by a rattlesnake, throws him, and runs away. Daryl falls and falls and falls down the embankment, landing in the river with his arrow in his side. :( He tries to climb back up but falls again. :(

On the farm, Glenn confronts Lori, wants to know why she hasn’t told Rick yet. Which is a good question. She should get this out of the way. Make the happy announcement, then later when Shane asks if it’s his, lie about how many periods she’s missed. Both men are dark-haired; it could work. Maybe she’s not saying anything cuz she’s worried everyone will be so mad at her for being dumb enough to get pregnant that they’ll revoke her First Lady status.


Doc sends his youngest daughter (Awwww, she’s adorable! Send her in to play with Carl. He needs a new friend since SOPHIA IS NEVER GOING TO BE FOUND.) to summon Rick. Doc’s mad that his horse was taken and that Jimmy is TESFSing. That first complaint I can understand, since Daryl apparently took the horse without asking, but that latter one is entirely Jimmy’s fault. Rick specifically asked that little turd if Doc was ok with this, and Jimmy said yes. Liarpants. Rick, ever the peacekeeper, says it’s merely a communication problem and everything will be run by Doc from now on, but the look on Doc’s face as Rick walks away says Doc’s clearly not happy to have visitors. Hmph. I’m grateful to Doc for saving Carl, but I don’t like him very much.


Out in the woods, Daryl is lying semiconscious in the river. Someone approaches. A zomb? No, it’s his brother Merle! Well, Dream Merle. (We know he’s imaginary because he has two hands.) Every bit as racist as Real Merle, Dream Merle gives Daryl a bigoted pep talk, then kicks him fully awake — just in time for Daryl to realize a zomb is gnawing on his shoe and another is shambling toward him. ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH! But, no problem, because Daryl goes Fully Bad Ass. He grabs a branch, beats gnawer to death, yanks the arrow* out of his side, loads his bow, and shoots shambler in the head. (*Raise your hand if you, too, got mad at Andrea all over again for making Daryl waste an arrow on that zomb in the tree.) Now full of I-want-to-live adrenaline, he then again tries the climb, but loses steam. When it looks hopeless, Dream Merle appears again and motivates him as only a big brother can. “Kick off them damn high heels and climb, son!”

Doc tells Maggie he should have been asked if it was ok for Carol and Lori to make dinner, then asks her what’s going on with her and “the Asian boy.” (Oh good god. Yes, he’s old, and yes, at least he didn’t use a racial slur, but I’m suddenly thinking he’d get along great with Dream Merle.) “Don’t get close to them,” Doc warns her.

Glenn, frustrated cuz Maggie’s giving him the cold shoulder, runs a theory by Dale.
- Glenn: “I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up, and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”
- Dale: “I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.”
LOL. Glenn keeps Lori’s secret, but does tells Dale that he and Maggie did the naughty. Dale tells him to for the love of God not let Doc find out.


“Walker!” Andrea yells — but it’s not a zomb. It’s a bloody, wounded, and exhausted Daryl shuffling back home. Andrea grabs a rifle, but everyone tells her not to shoot. Theodore (or, as Doc probably calls him, “that negro boy”), Rick, Shane, and Glenn run out to kill it with handheld weapons. Andrea aims. Dale again tells her not to shoot. She ignores him — and shoots Daryl seconds after Rick et al. realize he’s still human. IDIOT BEEYATCH. I’m all for the killing of zombs, but not with a gun 1. after you’ve been asked not to use firearms on your host’s property and 2. everyone’s telling you not to shoot and 3. there’s absolutely no need to waste the ammo! (Although, in all fairness, Daryl looked just LIKE a zomb.)

Oh my god, longest commercial break ever.

Thankfully, Andrea’s bullet only grazes Daryl’s head. Doc bandages it, tends to the arrow wound, then gripes about how quickly they’re running through the antibiotics. Oh, I’m sorry that your man Otis shot Carl, who then needed antibiotics, and that your horse almost killed Daryl, who then needed antibiotics. Prick. (And aren't they Daryl's antibiotics?????)

Shane again brings up to Rick the fact that people need to stop risking their lives TESFSing. I’m sorry, but … agreeeeeeed.

Dinner is an awkward, silent affair. Glenn tries to break the silence asking if anyone knows how to play guitar. “Otis did,” his wife answers, and thus ends that endeavor. Maggie passes Glenn a note asking where he wants to meet again. He scribbles a response, but Doc glances in her direction, so she can’t read it just then. Carol brings a recuperating Daryl a plate of food, kisses his bandaged head, and tells him he's just as fine a man as Rick or Shane. That was nice of her. Later, Maggie opens Glenn's note to see that he wants to meet in the hayloft. She immediately takes off running for the barn. Glenn’s already there, up in the hayloft, looking for a comfy place for Sex With Maggie, Round II — when he smells something awful … and shines his flashlight down on like 20 zombs being held in the barn.

Scream it with me: “WTF??!?!???!!?????”

My theories:
- Doc’s keeping the zombs to observe them. This has been done in Resident Evil: Extinction, I Am Legend, and 28 Days Later — though in none of those movies was a frigging horde being kept.
- The zombs are Doc’s friends and family members. He’s keeping them so that they can be healed once the cure — which, you remember, he told Rick that he firmly believes will be found — is discovered.

LOL, from The Talking Dead:

Top Chef, 11/9/11

Time for the last ten chefs to try to win a chef’s coat.

Group Three:
Everyone enters the Top Chef kitchen, where Padma, Tom, and Hugh Acheson (I LOVE HIM, and I am so stoked that he’s a judge this season!!!) are waiting. The chefs introduce themselves. Ok, it happened again. I said last week that I wasn’t going to pick early faves — and then promptly fell for Nyesha. This week I’m falling for Chaz. The other chefs are touting their accolades and awards; however, Chaz cracks everybody up with, “I was nominated by my mom as one of her two favorite sons.” LOL. Plus, he kinda looks like my friend Charles.

After some discussion and a game of rock-paper-scissors, the chefs decide who gets which tray of ingredients. On each tray, something secret is hiding under a cloche. “Ready, set, lift!” Padma says, and the chefs find timers with the amount of time they have to cook: 60, 40, or 20 minutes. All the 20 minuters are, of course, mad. Cooking begins. Tom and Hugh walk around the kitchen intimidating-oops-I-mean-observing everyone.


Oh my god. Watching Beverly go to town on that nasty nasty gross octopus is making me physically ill. I freely admit that I’m a bit of a culinary wuss: I gladly leave eating the out-there stuff to others. OH NO — Chaz got risotto. Anything but that! Throughout the seasons, having to cook risotto has been the downfall of many a contestant. “It’s been a stumbling block for a lot of Top Chef people in the past,” Hugh says. :( And Chaz has only 40 minutes!

20-Minute Peeps

- Kim: pan-seared lamb chop with kalamata olives, arugula, and pan jus
- Andrew: roasted mushrooms with spinach, poached egg, and a brown butter vinaigrette (Vegetarian dish. More challenging, if you ask me.)
- Paul: grilled trout with rustic Asian tomato salad

Paul: in. Kim: out. Andrew: must cook again. When Andrew enters the stew room, where the other chefs who have to cook again are waiting, somebody asks him, “What are you in for?” Ha ha ha ha hahaha!

40-Minute Peeps

- Chaz: loses track of time, has nothing plated when clock runs out, is sent home. DAMN YOU, RISOTTO!!!
- Berenice: Asian style short rib with cabbage slaw
- Laurent: duck with lemon uzu curd and arugula sautéed with pomegranate molasses
- Jonathan: Spanish style brussel sprouts atop tomato sofrito with paprika and hazelnut gremolata

Jonathan and Berenice: out. Laurent: must cook again.

See? See what I mean about vegetarian dishes being harder to make? In both rounds, vegetarian dishes totally tripped up the chefs. Anybody can work magic with a slab of meat. Making a satisfying, delicious meatless meal is much, MUCH harder and requires way more skill.


60-Minute Peeps

Ok, Lindsay is good people. She tells a struggling Ashley how to take the lid off the pressure cooker. Some would have just let her struggle.
- Ashley: Filipino “kare-kare,” a braised oxtail dish
- Lindsay: braised veal over polenta with a warm salad and charred pickled carrots
- Beverly: Korean “nakji bokum,” an octopus dish (YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK)

Lindsay (yay!) and Beverly: in. Ashley: out.

And now it’s down to all the chefs who had to cook again. Edward: “If they leave me here in the stew room long enough, I’m going to kill the other five people to get that jacket.” HA HA! These six are competing for the last two available spots. They have 45 minutes and can use any ingredient in the kitchen to make an amazing dish. No mercyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


- Edward: bbq duck, pickled corn, and candied bacon over sweet Asian custard
- Molly: jumbo stuffed prawn with a mousseline of shrimp over uzu burblanc with ponzu pudding and soy glazed watermelon (When it takes me that long to type the dish, I get irritated.)
- Janine: seared scallop with baby clams, bacon, corn, watermelon, and snap peas
- Grayson: bacon-wrapped shrimp over polenta with a port wine fig sauce
- Laurent: tartare scallop, and seared scallop with relish over fennel with saffron
- Andrew: mussels cooked in sherry with fregula pasta, charred corn panna cotta, and charred shrimp

How funny that 5 out of 6 chose seafood. Noticing this, Edward strategically chose duck, but then he grossed me out making a sweet + savory dish. I reiterate for the umpteen quillionth time: I HATE SWEET + SAVORY, and I wish to Almighty God it would hurry up and be considered passé. Please, culinary world? Please stop trying to make dinner + dessert a thing.

Out: Molly, Laurent, Janine, and Andrew. In: Grayson and Edward. I’m hoping he doesn’t sugar it up all season long, but I’m cool with Edward cuz he made me laugh.

Terra Nova, 11/7/11

Instead of people being eaten, this episode opens with a calming scene of domesticity for a change. Josh and Maddy are getting on each other’s nerves, Elizabeth is leaving for work, Rick is about to take Zoe to a secret location he hasn’t divulged “because no one in this family can keep a secret.” Huh? Hold your horses there, buddy. You and Elizabeth hid Zoe for three years, you’re not telling Taylor what Mira told you, Maddy’s sneaking out to see Hot Mark (Approve.), and Josh is in cahoots with the Sixers. Except for Zoe, I’d say you’re all pretty damn secretive.


Chief Science Officer Malcolm and Taylor are examining that shiny box Mira sent Newt-oops-I-mean-Lea to Terra Nova to get. They still can’t figure out how to open it.

FINALLY, this show tries to discourage and not encourage underage drinking. Instead of showing the happy teenagers indulging, we see Hunter doubled up on an examination table, sick after drinking the juice of an unfermented taroca root. Elizabeth lectures for a bit, then examines him and sees A THIRTY-FOOT TAROCA WORM GROWING INSIDE HIM. See kids? There are repercussions for drinking, whether it’s a DUI, unadulterated parental fury, or a ginormous prehistoric intestinal parasite.


Rick takes Zoe to The Eye, which is a supercool digital history library that shows you whatever you want. She wants to see where she was born; he shows her the house way out in the middle of nowhere where he and Elizabeth sneaked off to have her. Then she wants to go on a virtual roller coaster ride. I’m jealous; it looks fun. Hot Mark takes Maddy to a field where pretty flowers are growing — how very Twilight of him — so they can picnic. She calls him beautiful; he calls her perfect. They start to kiss, but are interrupted (Dammit!) by a rumbling in the distance.

It’s a meteor hurtling through the sky! (Side note: it’s kind of pretty.) It emits an electromagnetic pulse that causes a Terra Nova-wide power outage, interrupting Rick and Zoe’s roller coaster ride and stopping Hunter’s worm removal surgery before it evens starts. Then it slams into the ground, sending a destructive sonic wave through the camp. The hospital is overrun with injured people, Hunter’s going to have to have that worm taken out the old fashioned way, Rick and Zoe are trapped in the basement, and their rover is dead so Hot Mark and Maddy have to hike the six kliks back to camp.

CSO Malcolm can make replacement chips to fix all the broken electronic stuff … after his chip-making machine is itself fixed. Which only Tom the Mole can do. Taylor, no fan of Tom’s (Oh, just wait til you find out he’s the mole, Taylor!), actually growls. HA! He hasn’t done that since the premiere. Out in the forest, Mira gets word that TN has “gone dark.” She orders everyone to prepare for a raid. Ooooooooh, but the last time the Sixers stormed the castle, Taylor said if they did it again, the isht would hit the fan!


As Elizabeth cuts Hunter open and starts extracting the parasite, Skye watches. She's a much cooler cucumber than Maddy was that day she observed her mom working. (Hunter asks why he can't be put to sleep; Elizabeth sayz cuz with the power out, she wouldn't be able to monitor his vitals. YEAH RIGHT. She just wants him wide awake to have to endure the consequences of drinking. High five, Elizabeth!) When she has to go help some severely wounded soldier, Skye takes over. As she’s working, Hunter tells her he likes her and wishes she weren’t in love with Josh. The worm, having had quite enough of this incredibly awkward conversation, re-enters Hunter and starts wreaking havoc. Elizabeth sends Skye running to Tom for the first available chip to work some suddenly desperately needed surgical equipment. Night falls out in the forest, where the Sixers are driving a huge dino toward TN. Elsewhere, Hot Mark and Maddy have covered themselves in smelly mud and climbed a tree to stay safe til morning. They kiss! They kiss! Yay! Awwwwwwww!


After Zoe crawls through a shaft and unlocks the door from the outside, she and Rick are finally free; he sends her to school and joins Taylor and the soldiers at the gate … just in time to see the raging dino approach. Unperturbed as always, Taylor hands Rick a crossbow, and they shoot some flammable arrows that erupt into a dino-deterring wall of flame. But Taylor realizes this was a diversion. He and Rick head off to the research lab, where Mira’s impenetrable box is.


Josh rushes the chip to Elizabeth; Hunter is saved. Maddy sneaks back home before anybody misses her. Rick and Taylor enter the lab, Taylor gets shot with an arrow, Rick goes running after Carter, who has the box, Tom enters and shoots the guy fighting Taylor (Good call, cuz that'll totally convince Taylor that Tom's not the mole.), Rick chases Carter all over camp, but he gets away and gives the box to Mira.

They take it to … Taylor’s son! The box is a computer of sorts containing information he needs to do his research. Mira warns him that Taylor probably knows he’s getting close to an answer; he responds Taylor will have to kill him to stop him.

The Walking Dead, 11/6/11

Daryl, Andrea, and Carol arrive at the farmhouse just in time for Otis’s memorial service, during which Otis’s wife begs Shane to say a few words. With guilt eating him alive (Fitting.), Shane repeats his lie about Otis sacrificing himself. Ok, at this point it’s best to just let everyone believe this. Otherwise Otis’s family would NEVER get closure, Lori and Rick would feel horrible that a man was murdered to save their son, and Carl would have to feel guilty the rest of his life. So you’re a jerk, but good call, Shane. Post service, planning for TESFS (The Endless Search for Sophia) resumes. Doc (sorry, I really hate the name Hershel) irritates me insisting that no guns be used on his property(Finally, Andrea has a legitimate reason to be irritated.); to keep the peace, Rick agrees. Later, Shane asks Lori if she meant it when she asked him to stay; she says yes. As I was the last time she begged him not to leave, I am confused by this. She doesn’t want Rick to find out they were sleeping together, so why doesn’t she want Shane to leave? Shane can’t participate in TESFS cuz he has a sprained, swollen ankle; Rick can’t go cuz he’s still weak from blood-giving; that leaves Daryl, who starts off for the woods alone. Rick tells him he doesn’t have to stick his neck out like that, but Daryl wants to go. Daryl’s really turning into the go-to guy.

Doc tells Rick that once Carl’s fit to travel and Sophia’s found, he expects them all to be on their merry way.

Maggie needs to make a pharmacy run to get medical supplies; Rick suggests she take Glenn with her. Of course he does. Since they spent all last episode pre-flirting, clearly things’re going to get a little more intense this episode. *jealous* Maggie approaches Glenn with a very full-of-meaning “I hear you’re fast on your feet and know how to get in and out.” Ha ha ha to the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Ok, I officially like Maggie. Because that, my friends, was awesome. Lori sidles up to Glenn (The chicks are loving him this episode.) and asks if he can get something from the pharmacy for her. Like the rest of planet earth, I at first assumed it was tampons, but when Glenn had no idea what it was or where to find it, I realized it was a preggo test. (A guy would totally have no idea what EPT or First Response is.) So oh no, Lori might be preggo!!! THAT’s why she doesn’t want Shane to go, cuz she might be carrying his kid. Ok ladies, let us discuss. Unprotected sex during the zombie apocalypse: yay or nay? I get that some hot survivalist sex may be quite tempting, but I hope I have the presence of mind to go with nay. Number one because any STD you catch 1. will have to go untreated :( and 2. will slow you down, making you an easier target for zombs; and number two because — HELLO? — you might get preggo. There is no way in hell I’m going to be running around during the reign of the undead pregnant/with a baby! So, sorry guy, you’re just going to have to settle for having the situation HANDled, if you catch my drift. Hey, it’s better than nothing! Be damned if I end up like Lori. The way she’s been getting it on at will with Shane-then-Rick, I thought maybe she had her tubes tied and didn’t have to worry about such matters, but nope. Fail, Lori. FAIL.


Dale and Theodore (who asks Dale to never mention that delirium-induced craziness he spouted on the highway, lol) are busily pumping water when Dale discovers a zomb in the well. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. It’s all slimy and bloated and ewwwwwwww. Theodore and Glenn want to shoot it, but Andrea and Maggie say no, cuz that’d contaminate the water. So Glenn is lowered into the well to tie a rope around the zomb’s neck. Uh oh. Wait for it … AAAAARRRRRGGHH! The support breaks! Glenn almost falls right on top of the zomb nooooooo save him save him pull him out he’s screaming I’m screaming everybody’s pulling the rope pull guys pull — and he’s out. WHEW! (There are only two minorities on this show, and if either one dies, I am going to be highly upset, dammit.) Somehow during the mayhem, Glenn managed to get the rope around the zomb's neck. Nice. Heave! They try to pull it out of the well, but it tears in half. Yuck. All that for nothing.


Out in the woods, Daryl finds a house. It’s deserted, but he sees a bed pallet and empty food cans … no Sophia, though. Shane, Carol, and Andrea check the highway where they left a note for her … no Sophia. On the way back, Shane tells Andrea, “There ain’t nothing easy about taking a man’s life... But when you get it done, you have to forget it. I guess I haven’t quite got that last part down yet.” Otis guilt, Otis guilt, Otis guilt.


In the pharmacy, Glenn gets Lori’s preggo test, and then Maggie offers him sex. Wait — what? He’s caught completely off guard and goes all kinds of stuttering dork on her, but gets with the program soon enough. Hi five, Maggie! And I fully support this because she propositions him only AFTER finding a box of condoms. Pay attention, Lori. On the horse ride back, Glenn is all smiles. LOL. Doc and Rick are chatting out on the farm; Rick’s mad at God cuz Carl got shot. Doc points out that Rick survived getting shot, then managed to find his wife and son, then Carl survived getting shot. Rick says that just means God has a weird sense of humor. Later, he asks Doc to reconsider making them all leave. Doc says if everyone respects his rules, he’ll consider it. Uh oh. I hope one of those rules is not, “Nobody have sex with any of my daughters.” Maggie and Glenn return; he gives Lori the preggo test; she stuffs it in the back of her jeans.

In the RV, Daryl brings Carol a Cherokee rose. According to legend, it grew along the Trail of Tears where the tears of all the mothers losing their children fell. Carol is comforted by this. Awwwwwwww. That was really super duper nice of him. Lori sneaks outside to take the preggo test, and it’s positive. Instead of a plus, it should have said “duh.”

Next week’s preview: THE RETURN OF MERLE! THE RETURN OF MERLE! And he’s up to no good. Prediction: Daryl's going to have to choose between the group and his brother.

Top Chef: Texas, 11/2/11

Premiere, Part One


I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to pick an early fave, cuz my early fave never wins. You hear me, reality tv gods? If I don’t tell you who I like, you can’t send him/her home just to spite me! SO THERE!

“It’s Texas. They made it bigger.” This season is starting off with like 30+ chefs instead of the usual 16. Standing in front of the Alamo, Padma (Hey Padma!) greets the chef army and welcomes them to Top Chef Texas — then it’s down to business. She informs them that they will be put into three groups, with everyone in the group competing against each other to make it into the 16.


Group One:
Tom (Hey Tom!) and Emeril tell the chefs they must use part of a partially butchered pig to create a feast. Begin cooking! Tyler brags about himself, but then hasn’t a bloody clue how to cut up the pig. He grabs a saw. A saw???!?!?? It's a pig, not a log! Colin isn’t doing much better, but in his defense, he runs a vegan restaurant. Chris takes over for him. Tyler’s butchering is so bad that Tom and Emeril send him home. First casualty! No jacket for you! Interesting to see all the creative ways the chefs are cooking pig. More to it than just bacon and ham sandwiches, eh? Time! Oh darn — the second casualty is my fellow meat-avoider Colin, who gets axed for serving super sloppy plates.



- Chris J.: candied peanuts, caramel apple stuffed with braised pork belly and sweet applesauce. YUCK YUCK THAT’S DISGUSTING I HATE SAVORY + SWEET HATE SAVORY + SWEET HATE IT HATE IT YUCK.
- Sarah: pig skin ravioli
- Molly: smoked sweet potato soup with simmered pork cheek and tequila cilantro lime cream
- Grayson: mushroom-stuffed tenderloin with haricot vert and hazelnuts
- Nyesha (Omg, homegirl alert! Wait — oops. Disregard that burst of enthusiasm, reality tv gods. It meant nothing!): braised pork shoulder ravioli with roasted corn, tomato, and pepita salsa
- Richie: onion soup with crispy and braised pig ears, pickled shallots, frozen parsley powder, and mushrooms
- Simon: ham roulade stuffed with fig confit and goat cheese.
- Heather: ribs over grits with blue cheese, corn, and bacon. Holy crap, it looks good. It’s the first dish that if I ate meat I would nom nom nom.

Out: Simon. Must cook again: Molly and Grayson. In: Chris J., Sarah, Nyesha (YAY!), Heather, and Richie.


Group Two:
Padma, Gail (Hey Gail!), and Tom instruct everyone to agree on one ingredient to cook with; rabbit is chosen. Begin cooking! Chris C. says his style is like that of Richard Blais and Michael Voltaggio. *eye roll* Invoking the name of past winners: lame. Dakota is pairing chocolate and rabbit. :( Time! Nina is immediately eliminated for not finishing her plate. No jacket for you!

- Whitney: rabbit sugo with tomatoes, garlic, shallots, asparagus and bacon
- Keith: rabbit three ways — herb-seared tenderloin, chicken fried rabbit with potato hash, braised rabbit confit. It looks nom nom nom.
- Edward: butter poached rabbit with butternut squash puree
- Janine: rabbit three ways — bacon-rabbit nugget over corn grits, white asparagus with rack of rabbit, loin saltimboccoa with mushroom hash
- Chuy: adobo-marinated loin with cashew pipian, queso fresco, and grilled zucchini
- Chris C.: rabbit two ways — confit leg and butter-seared tenderloin over carrot polenta
- Ty-lör (a big fat WTF to that spelling): confit leg with pickled pepper cucumber with tomatoes in fish sauce
- Dakota: roasted rabbit saddle crepinettes white asparagus, leeks, and mushrooms with cocoa-vinegar bulgar wheat. Oh. That’s less gross than what I was picturing.

Must cook again: Edward, Janine. In: Chris C., Kieth, Whitney, Dakota, Chuy, and Ty-lör.

Oh, Top Chef. How I have missed thee!

Terra Nova, 10/31/11

Yeah, um … with the double threat of Sixers and all manner of dinosaurs roaming the forest, I would very much NOT be the soldier sent out alone at night. And Soldier Foster proves why when he arrives at Communication Relay Station 19A — then is promptly eaten. :( The next morning, as his remains are carried out, Chief Science Officer Malcolm (he gets mad if you don’t call him that) explains to Taylor and Jim that it was a narcoraptor. “Narcoraptor”???? Ha ha ha! Narcotics. Narcolepsy. It kills you, then gets high, then falls asleep. Ha ha ha! Oh — wait. Jim pronounces it more clearly: “nikoraptor.” Damn British accent.

Josh is hard at work in the bar, because teenagers can work in bars on Terra Nova, when his boss, Tom the Mole, tells Josh he’s going to have to do something if he wants Cara brought to TN. Uh oh.

CSO Malcolm brings a cracked dino egg back to the hospital, where Elizabeth’s busy autopsying Foster at Jim's request. When she finds the blood of both a nikoraptor and its prey on Foster’s body, Jim tells Taylor and Lt. Wash that he (Jim) thinks somebody set Foster up. Death by niko, if you will. Taylor’s skeptical, but tells Wash and Jim to investigate. They head to the bar to question Foster’s two friends, one of whom is Maddy’s boyfriend Hot Mark. “Hey Mr. Shannon,” he says dully, and I’m thoroughly disappointed he wasn’t all, “Most enthusiastic greetings and salutations, good sir.” I guess sadness over the death of his friend has robbed him of his penchant for old-timey talk. Hot Mark and Other Friend tell Wash and Jim that Foster had a secret girlfriend, whose pic he was always looking at on his computerized dog tag thingy. (Random: I totally dig how Wash wears her gun in a thigh holster. IN A THIGH HOLSTER. Cool factor: off the charts.) She and Jim head to the hospital to get Foster’s personal effects … just in time to see CSO Malcom’s dino egg quiver. Omg! Yes! Raise it and try to domesticate it! That would be so awesome! Why hasn’t he tried this already? CSO duty FAIL.

The locator in Foster’s tag is on the move. Because it’s inside the niko that ate him. Dinosaur huntin’ time. Oh man, it looks like fun! Driving rovers and motorcycles at top speed, they chase it down and tranq it. Nope, they don’t kill it, to the overwhelming approval of PETA. Wash, who’s a combat medic (who once had to put 67 stitches in Taylor’s side), does a bit of surgery and cuts it open to get what they need. She recognizes the pic on Foster’s tag, some chick who works in the mess hall. They question her and her nervous husband, who doesn’t need much prodding before he admits to killing Foster. The first murder in TN! Taylor has to decide if he’s going to banish Hubby or imprison him. Jim and Elizabeth argue about it later: she thinks banishments is cruel; he’s of the opinion that he’d much rather have been banished to a sunny jungle, dinos or no dinos, than imprisoned for several years; she says what if Hubby was forced to confess? (It’s entirely too convenient that she hit upon that, but) Jim, remembering how jumpy the dude was, has to pause.

At the hospital, CSO Malcolm has discovered the baby inside the dino egg has birth defects. Elizabeth insists they try to save it. I do too. During a stroll through the marketplace, Josh tells Sky that Tom the Mole wants him to meet with Mira. She tries to convince him not to do it, but Josh had three friends who killed themselves because 2149 sucked so bad, and he’ll do anything to get Cara out of there. Skye says she’ll go with him.


Hubby is banished! (And I fully support Taylor in that decision.) Jim strolls into the jungle to check on him. “Between the wildlife and the Sixers, there’s a lot of ways to die in this jungle,” he says. Oh, hello, very first sentence of this recap. So, Hubby didn’t kill Foster; he confessed only cuz he thought Wifey did it. But she didn’t do it either. There’s still a murderer on the loose! Taylor’s understandably furious that Jim went after Hubby, tells Jim he best find out if there even is a real killer, and fast, or else Hubby is going to be re-banished faster than you can say “And stay out!”

At the hospital, CSO Malcolm watches Elizabeth perform in-egg surgery on the dino baby, complimenting her skill. *eye roll* Malcolm, please get a girlfriend.


Jim following up on a new lead, Wifey telling him that Foster had a gambling problem and that Tom the Mole runs the illegal gambling, leads him to the bar, where he’s shocked to see Josh. WTF. How could he not know that his son has a job? Anyway, Jim sends Josh home; Tom the Mole is arrested. Curiously, during Tom the Mole’s interrogation, Other Friend shoots Hot Mark a nervous glance, which Hot Mark either doesn’t notice or pretends not to see. Oh, ok. The arrest of Tom the Mole was a ruse to flush out Other Friend, who is the killer. Out in the forest, Taylor beats his ass square for killing Foster, then banishes him. (Prediction: he’s going to join the Sixers.) And since Tom the Mole played along helping to catch Other Friend, Jim lets Josh go back to working in the bar.

Josh and Skye meet with Mira and the Sixers. She says that she’ll help bring Cara to TN if Josh agrees to help her at some point in the future. Deal? He says yes. No, Josh. Nooooooooooooooooooo.

The egg hatches, and a healthy little baby dino pops out. Yay!