Now that all the previously ailing are able, The Endless Search for Sophia (TESFS) resumes. Again. During planning, one of Doc’s people, a young fellow named Jimmy, says he’d like to help. (I immediately want to tell him this is a bad idea. It’s like on those old episodes of Star Trek when Kirk, Spok, and baby-faced young Ensign Smith would go off on a mission. Guess who wouldn’t make it back?) Ricks asks Jimmy if Doc’s ok with it; Jimmy says yes, then says he wants a gun. “People in hell want slurpees,” Daryl growls, LOL, then heads off to borrow a horse.
Glenn sits playing guitar on the porch; Maggie approaches. Not one to beat around the bush, he pointedly tells her there are eleven condoms left. She’s all, “You see eleven condoms; I see eleven minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” Hey, cut him some slack! He was nervous; plus you totally came out of nowhere with that proposition. I’m sure next time he’ll last at least fifteen! :)
Out in the forest, Shane and Rick have a pretty hilarious conversation recollecting past sexual conquests. Then they argue. Shane thinks that the fact that everyone’s still TESFSing is beyond ridiculous. I’m sorry, but … I agree with him. Rick says he feels responsible for Sophia cuz he was the one who got her lost. Off TESFSing on his own, Daryl is riding along when he sees Sophia’s doll in the river. He climbs down a steep embankment to retrieve it; then returns to his horse — which gets spooked by a rattlesnake, throws him, and runs away. Daryl falls and falls and falls down the embankment, landing in the river with his arrow in his side. :( He tries to climb back up but falls again. :(
On the farm, Glenn confronts Lori, wants to know why she hasn’t told Rick yet. Which is a good question. She should get this out of the way. Make the happy announcement, then later when Shane asks if it’s his, lie about how many periods she’s missed. Both men are dark-haired; it could work. Maybe she’s not saying anything cuz she’s worried everyone will be so mad at her for being dumb enough to get pregnant that they’ll revoke her First Lady status.
Doc sends his youngest daughter (Awwww, she’s adorable! Send her in to play with Carl. He needs a new friend since SOPHIA IS NEVER GOING TO BE FOUND.) to summon Rick. Doc’s mad that his horse was taken and that Jimmy is TESFSing. That first complaint I can understand, since Daryl apparently took the horse without asking, but that latter one is entirely Jimmy’s fault. Rick specifically asked that little turd if Doc was ok with this, and Jimmy said yes. Liarpants. Rick, ever the peacekeeper, says it’s merely a communication problem and everything will be run by Doc from now on, but the look on Doc’s face as Rick walks away says Doc’s clearly not happy to have visitors. Hmph. I’m grateful to Doc for saving Carl, but I don’t like him very much.
Out in the woods, Daryl is lying semiconscious in the river. Someone approaches. A zomb? No, it’s his brother Merle! Well, Dream Merle. (We know he’s imaginary because he has two hands.) Every bit as racist as Real Merle, Dream Merle gives Daryl a bigoted pep talk, then kicks him fully awake — just in time for Daryl to realize a zomb is gnawing on his shoe and another is shambling toward him.
ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH! But, no problem, because Daryl goes Fully Bad Ass. He grabs a branch, beats gnawer to death, yanks the arrow* out of his side, loads his bow, and shoots shambler in the head. (*Raise your hand if you, too, got mad at Andrea all over again for making Daryl waste an arrow on that zomb in the tree.) Now full of I-want-to-live adrenaline, he then again tries the climb, but loses steam. When it looks hopeless, Dream Merle appears again and motivates him as only a big brother can. “Kick off them damn high heels and climb, son!”Doc tells Maggie he should have been asked if it was ok for Carol and Lori to make dinner, then asks her what’s going on with her and “the Asian boy.” (Oh good god. Yes, he’s old, and yes, at least he didn’t use a racial slur, but I’m suddenly thinking he’d get along great with Dream Merle.) “Don’t get close to them,” Doc warns her.
Glenn, frustrated cuz Maggie’s giving him the cold shoulder, runs a theory by Dale.
- Glenn: “I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up, and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”
- Dale: “I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.”
LOL. Glenn keeps Lori’s secret, but does tells Dale that he and Maggie did the naughty. Dale tells him to for the love of God not let Doc find out.
“Walker!” Andrea yells — but it’s not a zomb. It’s a bloody, wounded, and exhausted Daryl shuffling back home. Andrea grabs a rifle, but everyone tells her not to shoot. Theodore (or, as Doc probably calls him, “that negro boy”), Rick, Shane, and Glenn run out to kill it with handheld weapons.
Andrea aims. Dale again tells her not to shoot. She ignores him — and shoots Daryl seconds after Rick et al. realize he’s still human. IDIOT BEEYATCH. I’m all for the killing of zombs, but not with a gun 1. after you’ve been asked not to use firearms on your host’s property and 2. everyone’s telling you not to shoot and 3. there’s absolutely no need to waste the ammo! (Although, in all fairness, Daryl looked just LIKE a zomb.) Oh my god, longest commercial break ever.
Thankfully, Andrea’s bullet only grazes Daryl’s head. Doc bandages it, tends to the arrow wound, then gripes about how quickly they’re running through the antibiotics. Oh, I’m sorry that your man Otis shot Carl, who then needed antibiotics, and that your horse almost killed Daryl, who then needed antibiotics. Prick. (And aren't they Daryl's antibiotics?????)
Shane again brings up to Rick the fact that people need to stop risking their lives TESFSing. I’m sorry, but … agreeeeeeed.
Dinner is an awkward, silent affair. Glenn tries to break the silence asking if anyone knows how to play guitar. “Otis did,” his wife answers, and thus ends that endeavor.
Maggie passes Glenn a note asking where he wants to meet again. He scribbles a response, but Doc glances in her direction, so she can’t read it just then. Carol brings a recuperating Daryl a plate of food, kisses his bandaged head, and tells him he's just as fine a man as Rick or Shane. That was nice of her. Later, Maggie opens Glenn's note to see that he wants to meet in the hayloft. She immediately takes off running for the barn. Glenn’s already there, up in the hayloft, looking for a comfy place for Sex With Maggie, Round II — when he smells something awful … and shines his flashlight down on like 20 zombs being held in the barn.Scream it with me: “WTF??!?!???!!?????”
My theories:
- Doc’s keeping the zombs to observe them. This has been done in Resident Evil: Extinction, I Am Legend, and 28 Days Later — though in none of those movies was a frigging horde being kept.
- The zombs are Doc’s friends and family members. He’s keeping them so that they can be healed once the cure — which, you remember, he told Rick that he firmly believes will be found — is discovered.
LOL, from The Talking Dead:
No comments:
Post a Comment