Heidi: Two teams. No leaders. You all work together.
Josh: So do I get to be leader?
Slap him, I want to. Anyhoo, this time around, each team must make a new fabric, design a five-look collection, and shoot footage for a background music video. The mentor on this challenge is eternally cheery Betsey Johnson. Laura Kathleen, who I guess realized too much time has passed since she’s said something eye roll-inducing, chirps “I always say that I’m kind of like Betsey Johnson and Oscar de la Renta’s love child if they were to have a baby.” *eye roll* I was hoping Betsey’d do a cartwheel right there in the workroom; alas, I had to settle for watching a recorded one as she showed the designers video of her last collection. She then gave them some advice, which included, “Be cooperative. You have to throw away ‘me, me, me’ and go for the team.” Wise words, Bets. Too bad they likely fell on deaf ears.
Anthony Ryan and crew, Team Chaos, discuss a collection based on ink blot imagery. Interesting! Josh and crew, Team Nuts & Bolts, are finding inspiration in the circus no wait sea amoeba no wait scuba diving no wait female version of The Village People (?????????) no wait trains no wait clocks. That was so tortuously circuitous that it gave me brain ache … which was worsened by Josh blowing up at Bert for using “a swear word.” What WAS that? And I don’t give a damn that he recently lost his mother. That does not give someone an excuse to act like a complete assface. And then he apologized? Yeah, just like he apologized after bitching Becky out for no reason. Freak out, apologize, re-freak out, re-apologize. I’m over it.
In contrast, the members of Team Chaos are getting along great. Probably because being near Olivier (LOVE) causes happiness. Tim pops in, loves Chaos’s cohesion and positivity. Nuts & Bolts’ looks, on the other hand, confuse him, and he quickly recognizes the lack of unity. So much so that, after telling Josh to leave his ego at the door, he makes them join hands pledge to try to get along. LOL. After Tim’s bad review, Josh calls dad for moral support and cries a lot over his mother. I feel really sorry for him, but I repeat: it doesn’t excuse his constant assfacedness. Josh, Bryce, Viktor, and Laura Kathleen: do not win.
To nobody’s surprise, Chaos wins. To my surprise, for the second week in a row, I like Olivier’s (LOVE) look! And not kind of like, like last week. Surperlike! And Michael Kors agrees with me: “Olivier, I think the tailoring on your jacket’s fantastic. I think of all my years sitting in this chair, I think it’s one of the strongest tailored piece we’ve ever seen.” Nina: “Olivier, that’s the jacket I want.” My heart sings a happy song, I bounce up and down, and I officially forgive Michael Kors and Nina for Gretchengate. I KNEW Olivier (LOVE) had it in him! And then he was so bloody cute stumbling all over himself, hesitant and embarrassed about saying he thought he himself should be the winner.
Heidi says Nuts & Bolts’ collection is too busy. Michael Kors says it’s too literal. Nina said there were a lot of mistakes and missed opportunities. Their music video sucked. Michael HATES their stupid fabric, and praises Kimberly for refusing to use the prints in her outfit. Bert tells the judges that Josh went haywire bitchcakes on him, and then my Heidi proved why I heart her so much, pointing out to Josh that he has a pattern of fighting with his teammates: “I seem to recall a similar situation with Becky.” Ha! Josh pretended not to know what she was talking about. Heidi asks who’s the weakest link. Bert and Becky say Josh. Josh and Kimberly say Becky, but at least they have a reason. Laura Kathleen says Bert … because he mutters under his breath. ?????? I want to punch her in the face so badly that my fists itch.
The judges deliberate. Olivier’s (LOVE) jacket is killer. They also like Viktor’s gown and Anya’s dress. They praised Chaos for getting along, then moved on to Nuts & Bolts bashing. Becky’s look was boring. They agree that Bert has an attitude problem and is not a team player. Heidi questions Josh’s taste level, Nina says he came up with the worst print, Michael Kors calls him a dictator, guest judge calls him a bully. Ha! Surely he’s going home. And the winner is … ANYA? What—but—dammit! You got robbed, Olivier (LOVE). Ok, it’s down to Becky and Josh. *crosses fingers* And … Becky goes home. :( Wrong winner, wrong loser. I go to bed angry.
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