Thursday, July 28, 2011

Project Runway, 7/28/11

Casting Special
Contestants like Laura Kathleen are why you watch the casting specials, people. They help you determine early on who is Team I Hope You Win and who is Team I Hope You Die. Laura Kathleen is firmly on the latter. She feels she should be on Project Runway because she’s a “glammy,” “pretty, privileged girl,” she totally dissed the design school she attended, and she greeted the cameras wearing a sparkly little-girl dress and—of course—carrying a tiny dog like an accessory. *EYE ROLL*

(Yes, Danielle was carrying a tiny dog, too, but since she’s not an arrogant blonde bimbo, I can forgive that. And Amanda wasn’t carrying her dog; she was just sitting there cuddling it.)

I like Ms. Trinidad, Anya, with her partially shaved head. Formerly homeless Rafael and his Bieber haircut—from Atlanta! And awwwww, Bert, the old guy, who started designing THE YEAR I WAS BORN, what a moving story. Weirdly-named Fallene, from the city where I want to live: Denver! Olivier: a fabulously gay, British, Asian redhead? LOVE.

Let the fashion begin!!!!!!!!!!

Episode One
Michael and Nina. Ugh. The two blockheads who pushed for Gretchen to win last season. Ok, ok, I need to let that go.

Heh, both a selection judge last episode and Heidi this episode commented on Olivier’s accent … which is code for “fabulously gay, British, Asian redhead? LOVE.” Heh. And please note that Laura Kathleen totally rubbed Nina the wrong way. Woot! Oh good, all of my early faves made it through. Dear Kimberly: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease don’t fulfill the done-to-death reality tv "mean black bitch” stereotype. Thanks.

Getting yanked out of bed at 5 a.m. Did they get to eat breakfast? go to the bathroom? brush their teeth? Such things cross my mind. “I have a clutch ideeeeeeeea!” “Your model’s gonna have nut juice.” LOL. Nothing like a little immature humor to break the workroom tension. And let us all revel in the levity, love, and affection of episode one while we can. For ere long, there will be catfights, cliques, and crying. LOTS AND LOTS OF CRYING.

All eyes on Anya, who bullshitted her non-sewing self onto the show. If anybody better “make it work,” she’s the one. And ROFL at Rafael refusing to take his head scarf off because his “hair looked a hot mess.” Damn right. You can’t yank a black man with a Bieber out of bed at 5 a.m. and expect that hair to be ready to go. Homeboy needs at least ten minutes, a flat iron, and some Paul Mitchell Styling Wax. And he did take Tim’s advice … the next day. :)

Models! I always wanna see who got the prettiest one. Looks like that honor went to … Bryce. Hannah is gorgeous. Wise move, Rafael, checking on your model’s sign. (I’m a Sagittarius who has serious problems with Scorpios.) Hey, no way! Olivier speaks Italian! So make that “a fabulously gay, multilingual, British, Asian redhead. LOVE.” What the — Oh. My. God. Did that empty-headed dunce Laura Kathleen actually say “Are you speaking foreign?” Yes. She. Did. Grrrrr. May she not last more than two episodes. I detest people who think stupidity is cute.

Hi, Christina Ricci! My bro thinks your tiny little self is quite sexy.

My fave looks were Bryce’s, Anya’s (color me surprised), and Bert’s. Sadly, I hated Olivier’s and Rafael’s. :( Maybe they’ll impress me in forthcoming episodes … if they don’t get eliminated, that is. Ok, I agree with Christina: I like Rafael’s shirt. Maybe that’ll be enough to save him, since Josh’s and Julie’s total looks were disastrous. Ugh, really? The judges liked Anthony’s black-and-gray tee paired with the green miniskirt? I didn’t. He better not beat Anya or Bert. YAY BERT! You totally deserved that win, dude.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not Rafael Bieber!!!! Aw man! :( This hurts. Fare thee well, dude. Stay fabulous.

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