1. Yes, I can be objective. :)
2. This review contains no spoilers — if you’ve read the books.
3. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE BOOKS, YOU WILL HATE THIS MOVIE. OK? SO EFFING SPARE ME.
Let me begin by saying that if I were in charge of the universe, I would go back and change it so that the directors of the Twilight movies, Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade, and Oscar winner Bill Condon, also directed the Harry Potter movies. Like the Twilight novels, I love, love, LOVE the Harry Potter books — but the movies were so incredibly untrue to the source material that it pissed me off royally, and I quit after the third one. Thankfully, the Twilight directors/screenwriters seem bound and determined to stay as faithful to the books as possible (Thanks, guys!), resulting in yet another homerun: Breaking Dawn, Part One.
Bella and Edward marry, Jacob sulks, Bella gets surprise knocked-up with a half-vamp. Although we already know the plot from the books/previews, the movie still delivers the goods. The wedding is quite touching, the speeches hilarious. During the reception, we meet — OMG — Irina. As it is she who will bring about all the danger and drama of Part Two, I was curious to see who they got to play her. Maggie Grace, from Lost? Good choice. She perfectly pouts, protests, then departs in a pretty huff. We’ll be seeing you, Irina. And how.
The tropical honeymoon location is breathtaking, the sex scene as intense as a PG-13 sex scene can be. Then starts the tension. Bella’s preggo! But this is not cause for celebration. The fetus is killing her, so pretty much everybody wants her to get rid of it (except her sis-in-law Rosalie, vamped before she got the chance to be a mom, so she’s fiercely protecting this chance to become an aunt). And since the fetus is killing Bella, the werewolves, sworn to protect humans, want to kill it, so Jacob has to break from the pack and act as watchdog.
The principals have a ways to go acting-wise, but still, the performances are much improved this time around. Taylor Lautner really makes you feel sorry for Jacob, who already had to watch the woman he loves marry another man and now has to watch her die bit by bit. Kristen Stewart actually shows some depth as her character fights not only to protect her baby from those who want to kill it in order to save her life but also to carry a child who is slowly draining the life out of her. And wow, the special effects used to create a wasting-away Bella are extremely and disturbingly effective.
But of course, all I care about are the werewolves, so let’s devote a paragraph to that, shall we? (And I know they’re shapeshifters and not true lycans. Stfu.) YAY, huge and fast and strong WEREWOLVES. In this movie, we finally get to hear them talking as is described in the books: in the mental voice of the pack. Nice touch. The scene when Jacob rebels against pack leader Sam is pretty powerful; the vamp-vs-werewolf fight, just like the one in Eclipse, is edge-of-your-seat thrilling. And Jacob’s imprinting scene at the end is touching, effective, and very well done.
Complaints:
1. The soundtrack. Heretofore, all the soundtracks have had no fewer than five or six songs that blew me away. This time around, all I like are “It Will Rain” by Bruno Mars and "Turning Page" by Sleeping At Last. Here’s hoping Part Two has way better music.
2. As I also griped in my review of The Thing, it drives me batty when someone suddenly develops the ability to speak a foreign language. When the housekeeper says something in Portuguese to Bella, who magically understands, that got an eye roll.
3. Jacob takes his shirt off only once. FAIL.
*sad sigh* Alas, there is but one Twilight movie left. But that’s ok … because omg did you see the Hunger Games trailer? Like, OMG!
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