The Walking Dead: Sick, 10/21/12

Daryl orders the prisoners to come out, hands up, as the post-amputation scurry to save Hershel’s life continues. Rick says they need to get him back to the others. Glen finds a gurney to put him on. Theodore opens the cafeteria doors and kills the one zombie that enters. (Wait wtf? Last week a friggin’ horde was outside the doors. It’s only been like two minutes; where’d they go? Continuity FAIL.) They wheel Hershel back the way they came, leaving Danny Trejo, Wyatt Earp, LL Cool J, Little One, and Big One (We never learn the prisoners’ names, ok?), who were expecting a rescue party, standing there hella confused. Eventually, they figure it out and follow. Rick et al. arrive at the cell block. Carol takes over (Omg, I like her so much more this season.) with Hershel, barking orders to get anything that could be used for a bandage, bring pillows to elevate the leg, and don’t do anything crazy to try to stop the bleeding cuz the shock could kill Hershel. Meanwhile, Danny Trejo et al. arrive in the outer area of the cell block, get in a shouting match with Daryl and Theodore, who won’t let them in. After instructing Glenn not to leave Hershel’s side (Read: kill Hershel if he turns.), Rick rushes back to the prisoners, breaks up the fight and informs the clueless bunch that the world as they knew it is no more. They don’t believe him. Rick, Daryl, and Theodore take them outside and show them the zombies, explain what happened, tell them they’re all infected. The prisoners decide they want to stay. Danny and Rick get into a turf war argument. Finally, it’s agreed that in exchange for half the food in the cafeteria, Rick et al. will help Danny et al. clear another cell block to live in.

Glenn sends a distraught Maggie to check on Beth, who’s busy tearing fabric off all of Hershel’s pants so he can walk one-legged in them. Atta girl, Beth! Keep the faith and stay positive. (Also, could you two sing again at some point this season? That was cool.) Rick and Theodore arrive with food. Lori asks about the prisoners; Rick tells her about their agreement. She says don’t hesitate to kill them if he sees fit. Rick says exactly what I’m thinking: “Yeah, you say that now.” In other words, she’s told him to do what he feels necessary before; then when he did it (Killed Shane.), she turned on him. Lori assures him that she knows there’s no malice in his heart and he doesn’t kill just for the sheer joy of life-taking, that he should do whatever he needs to do with a clear conscience. (I’d like to stop here and make two predictions: #1 Rick and Lori are eventually going to reconcile. #2. Rick is going to kill Danny Trejo.) Maggie asks for a few minutes alone with handcuffed-to-the-bed, still-unconscious Hershel; Carol and Glenn leave. Maggie tells her Dad that if it’s too hard to fight, he can let go, then cries on his chest. :( Rick, Daryl, and Theodore hand out weapons and give a crash course in How to Kill The Undead, stressing that Danny et al. don’t make noise, don’t break formation, and aim for the head. They head off into the prison, find some zombies—and the prisoners yell and scream, bumrush the zombies, and start shanking them in the gut. ROFLLLLLL. Rick, Daryl, and Theodore just watch with priceless expressions of incredulity on their faces. I totally have to rewind and watch that bit again. LOL.

As Maggie, Beth, Carol, Lori, and Glenn sit with still-unconscious Hershel, Carl saunters in with a duffel bag full of bandages, bottles of peroxide, and such. He casually announces that he found the infirmary, cleared it out, and oh yeah, killed a couple zombies on the way there and back. Lori, of course, is all like OMFG you can’t just go running off like that; Carl’s all like WTF lady get off my back; Beth’s all like STFU Carl you can’t talk to your mother like that. (I like Beth.) Pissed, Carl runs off … and shockingly, nobody follows him to make sure he’s not going back into zombie territory. (Again—I don’t understand the Carl-Lori feud. At the end of last season, as Rick ranted about how this was no longer a democracy, Carl was crying in Lori’s arms. So what happened? Puberty?) Carol asks Glenn to help her go do something. He’s hesitant to leave Hershel, but Beth, Maggie, and Lori assure him they’ll be ok. Outside, Carol explains that as she’s now the de facto ob-gyn, she needs to practice giving a C-section. (And I'm briefly mad at Lori all over again, cuz she didn't just get preggo, she got preggo knowing full well she couldn't give birth the normal, non-surgery-required way.) Glenn distracts a gaggle of zombies while Carol kills a female one and drags it inside the fence.

Rick and the others find another group of zombies. This time, the prisoners fight as instructed. Alas, Big One gets deep, bloody, zombie scratches on his shoulder. Little One and Wyatt Earp yell at Rick to help Big. Rick says there’s nothing he can do. Danny beats Big to death. Whoa! The group moves on … as Daryl and Rick, disturbed by the fact that Danny totally looked like he did that just for the sheer joy of life-taking, whisper to each other that at the first sign of trouble, they’ll take him out. They reach the cell block, hear a horde of zombies behind the double door entrance. Rick instructs Danny to open one door. Danny not only opens both, releasing the entire almost-too-big-to-control horde, but he also during the melee throws a zombie onto Rick. It knocks him down; Daryl kills it and helps Rick up. Once all the zombies are dead, Rick and Danny stand there sizing each other up for a few seconds—then Ricks swings a machete and lands it in Danny’s head. (Big’s ghost: “Thanks, Rick.) Little takes off running; Rick chases. At gunpoint and at bow and arrowpoint, Daryl and Theodore order LL Cool J and Wyatt Earp down onto their knees. Wyatt, who doesn’t just look but also sounds the part, drawls, “We don’t have no ‘filiation what just happened! Tell 'em, Oscar!” LL—I mean, Oscar just advises him to stop talking. Rick chases Little out into a zombie-filled section of the prison yard, closes the door, and lets the zombies get him.

Maggie, Beth, and Carl (Whew!) sit with Hershel. He stops breathing. Beth freaks, yells for help. Lori comes in, gives Hershel CPR. I admire her willingness to breathe into his might-be-a-zombie mouth. Breath, breath, chest pump, chest pump, breath, brea—ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH! Hershel rises from the dead and grabs her!!! Oh. Wait. He’s still alive; he just woke up from his near-death experience all super dramatically then passed back out. I pause the episode, change my underwear, and continue.

Rick’s about to shoot Wyatt, who drawls that he and Oscar aren’t bad people, please let them live. Rick turns the gun on Oscar, asks what he has to say. Oscar says he’s not begging for his life. (Yeah, Rick. If you’re gonna kill ‘em, just kill ‘em. Don’t needlessly draw this shit out.) Wyatt’s begging worked; Rick, Theodore, and Daryl lead them into the now de-zombied cell block and lock them safely in. Rick, Theodore, and Daryl get back to their cell block just in time to catch Hershel waking up. YAY!!!! Carol misses it cuz she’s outside going full med student on the zombie corpse … as someone watches her from the trees outside the fence. (Omg, who dat? Who dat?) Lori and Rick chat. He puts a hand on her shoulder, tells her that for the record he doesn’t think she’s a bad mother, and thanks her for saving Hershel.

Yes, that was brusque, and then he just walked off, but hey. Baby steps, people. They’ll be sneaking off to the showers for some hot prison sex in no time. *fingers crossed*

The Walking Dead: Seed, 10/14/12

Rick, Theodore, Carl, and Daryl enter a farmhouse, take out all the zombies inside. Maggie and Glenn join them; everyone searches for supplies. Beth, Carol, Hershel, and a suuuuuuuuper preggo Lori enter. (The gang’s all here. Hi guys!) Alas, there’s nothing but a couple cans of pet food and an owl Darryl shoots, plus zombies are all over the place outside, plus farmhouses are, like, so Season 2. So everyone gets in their cars, and the group drives off. On the highway, they stop to consult maps and chat about what to do next. Rick tells Carl to stand watch. (So I guess we’re officially done treating Carl like a 5-year-old. Yay!)

The separate zombie herds the group’s been running from all winter might converge, at which point they’ll become too large to avoid. Rick, who wants to find somewhere they can hole up so Lori can give birth, suggests heading west. Everyone agrees to this. Theodore and others head to the river to re-fill water bottles; Daryl and Rick head into the woods to hunt … and see, off in the distance, a prison. To Rick, judging by the expression on his face, it’s the Taj Mahal.

Cut to: Rick et al. cutting through the outer fence to enter Zombie Correctional Facility. Rick tells who to position him/herself where to cover him as he makes a run for the gate. (I’m rather glad to hear him tell Carol she’s become a pretty good shot. Guess she decided to do more than wash and cook.) As the others shoot and impale zombies through the fence, Rick hauls ass through the zombie-filled yard, closes and locks the gate, then climbs up to a guard tower and joins the others as they finish up killing all the yard zombies. Hooping and hollering, everyone triumphantly enters the yard. Later, Theodore, Carl, Maggie, Glenn, Beth, Lori, and Hershel eat dinner around a fire while discussing plans to dig a canal to let water in and plant some crops. Rick patrols the gate. Daryl keeps watch atop an overturned bus. Carol brings him some food, tells him Rick’s gotten them farther than she ever thought he would. (Oh ye of little faith.) Then Daryl massages her sore shoulder and she jokingly asks him if he wants to fool around. They laugh. About to jump off the bus, Daryl says “I’ll go down first”; she responds, “Even better.” HAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAA! Hershel asks Beth to sing, and there are a few lovely, blessed moments of almost-normalcy as she and Maggie duet. Then Rick advises everyone to turn in; they’ve got a busy day of zombie clearing tomorrow, and it’ll mostly be hand-to-hand combat since they’re so low on ammo. As he heads off to take first watch, Lori approaches and tries to talk to him “about things we’ve been avoiding,” but Rick’s very much not in a chatty mood. The next morning, Rick, Theodore, Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn enter the uncleared portion of the yard. Zombies galore! Knifing, spearing, chopping, bashing, and slashing, they kill their way to an entry point, where progress is temporarily slowed by zombies in riot gear. Ha ha, nice touch.

Eventually, riot gear zombies are taken out, and the group enters the prison. They find a (mostly) zombie-free, secure cell block in which to crash, clear it, and let the others in. Lori thanks Rick, but he just walks off. Hershel, having wisely given up trying to keep Maggie away from “the Asian boy,” is reduced to chasing Carl out of Beth’s cell, ha ha.

In a pharmacy somewhere, Michonne makes short work of the zombies inside with her AWESOME sword, then finds some aspirin. She takes it back to Andrea, who’s in pretty bad shape, sweating and exhausted and coughing. Pneumonia or something, I guess.  (Fact: I NEED to know, forthwith, why Michonne keeps zombie prisoners.)

In her cell, Lori confides to Hershel that she’s afraid because she hasn’t felt the baby move in a while. She makes him promise that if she or the baby dies in childbirth, he will immediately kill them before they can turn. She says it would have been better if she’d never made it off the farm because Carl hates her, and after what she put Rick through with Shane, he can’t stand her. (Rick’s loathing I get, but where’d the Carl dislike come from?) Hershel says Rick’ll come around. Lori, Beth, Carol, and Carl stay behind while Rick, Theodore, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, and Hershel head off into the prison in search of the cafeteria and infirmary. OH MY GOD, CREEPIEST SCENES EVAR. It’s dark, they’re using flashlights, dead and partially eaten bodies are everywhere, they’re bumping into and spooking each other—then they round a corner and run smack into a zombie horde. And then a second horde! And then a third! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhh! Maggie and Glenn get separated. (--Time out.-- I repeat my oft-repeated threat from last season: if Glenn dies, I will find the writer responsible for killing him and make said writer very, very sorry. --Time back in.--) Maggie/Glenn and Rick et al. wait a few seconds to let the hordes pass, head out looking for each other, then find each other just as a zombie that was playing possum (No fair.) bites Hershel’s leg. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Rick shoots it; the noise brings the hordes. Dragging/carrying the wounded Hershel, everyone flees. They find a big empty room, secure the doors. Rick tourniquets Herschel’s leg, then grabs a hatchet from Hershel’s medical bag and hacks off the bitten lower leg, hoping to keep the wound from infecting and killing Hershel. Who, mercifully, faints. “He’s bleeding out,” (DUH.) Rick announces—and at that moment, several surviving prisoners leave their hiding place. (LOL, they [almost] all look like famous people.)

So, omg! How’re they gonna stop the bleeding? And even if they do, will Hershel zombify despite the amputation? If he does, who’ll help Lori deliver Rick’s-or-Shane’s baby? And keep Carl from dry-humping Beth?