The Walking Dead: Welcome to The Tombs, 3/31/13

We open with Guv mercilessly beating the crap out of … Andrea???? Oh. No. Milton, for burning the walkers in the pit. A very bloodied Milton asks what would Guv’s daughter think? Guv replies that if he’d been tough all along, his daughter would still be alive. He takes Milton into the room where Andrea’s tied up, tells him to get the torture instruments on the table. Milton accidentally knocks some to the floor, and intentionally leaves one near Andrea. Guv hands him a knife, orders him to kill Andrea. Milton takes the knife … and attacks Guv. Nice try, but it’s not much of a physical contest; Guv guts Milton, then leaves him to die, come back as a walker, and eat Andrea. <<sad sigh>> Darn it Milton. You shoulda let Andrea blow Guv’s brains out.

At the prison, everyone’s packing up to leave. Carl looks a long time at his family photo, then at Rick’s sheriff’s star. Then he storms outside, ignores Rick, throws his stuff in a car, ignores Beth, and storms off. He’s in quite a mood. Glenn tells Rick Carl’s never been like this, not even after Lori died. I guess he doesn’t want to leave the prison? Rick looks up, sees Ghost Lori, shakes it off, goes inside. Daryl and Carol chat about Merle; Carol says his actions gave them all a fighting chance. Inside, Michonne tells Rick she understands that he had to consider Guv’s offer to trade her, then thanks him for taking her in when she first showed up. They’re all up in each other’s personal space, smiling. Hmmmm. Flirting?

At Woodbury, Guv is getting the troops all riled up to go kill the outsiders at the prison. Tyrese, Sasha at his side, tells Guv that they’re not going. This isn’t their fight; they’ll stay at Woodbury and watch over the children. Guv hands Tyrese a big ass gun and thanks him; then Guv et al. head out. They get to the prison, shoot the walkers outside the gates, crash through the gates, enter … and find the cell block deserted. They begin search the tombs. In the torture chamber, a dying Milton tells Andrea he left a pair of pliers behind her chair. As she tries to reach them, he asks her why she stayed in Woodbury after finding out her friends were at the prison. She says cuz she was trying to solve everything without anyone having to die. His voice getting weaker, he tells her she needs to hurry.

Guv and peeps quietly creep along. Until somebody drops a flash bomb/smoke grenade thingy, freaking everybody out. Shots are fired, people are screaming, smoke fills the air, walkers attack. Guv et al. run outside—and Glenn, Rick, Carol, Daryl, and Maggie open fire from hiding. Oh snap! They didn’t leave! Several people are killed. Disoriented and terrified, the Woodburyians run away or hop onto/into their trucks and drive off. Out in the woods, Carl, Hershel, and Beth, holding Judith, are hiding. A fleeing teenage boy crosses their path. Hershel and Carl point guns at him. Hershel orders him to give up his weapon. He slowly starts to hand it to Carl—and Carl shoots him. In the prison, everyone regroups; Glenn, Rick, Carol, Daryl, and Maggie celebrate their victory and decide to go to Woodbury to once and for all finish this shit. Carl tells Rick he (Carl) wants to go. Rick says no. Carl says he can handle it; he killed one of Guv’s soldiers. Hershel says that wasn’t a soldier; that was a frightened boy who was handing over his gun. Carl’s all, whatever, and storms off. Hershel tells Rick that Carl gunned that boy down for no reason.

Out on the road, Guv pulls his truck in front of the other vehicles, makes them stop. He orders everyone to go back to the prison. Martinez, Random Black Guy, and Ben are on Guv’s side; everyone else is with Karen, who says they don’t want to do this anymore, that was a slaughter, they’ll kill biters but not people, blah blah bla—Guv opens fire on them. Whoa! Yep. He simply guns them all down. A shocked Martinez and RBG, wisely, do nothing. Ben, stupidly, aims his rifle at Guv, but he’s too chickenshit to actually follow through, and Guv shoots him, too. Then Guv walks around, shooting everyone in the head. (I wonder if he’s at least got conscience enough to make sure they don’t turn … or if he just doesn’t feel like being bothered with any more undead right now … or if he’s just so pissed off that he wants the murderous joy of killing them twice.) As Guv goes around second-killing, he doesn’t realize that Karen is alive and unharmed, lying motionless underneath a dead body. Guv, Martinez, and RBG get in the truck, drive off. Well played, Karen.

At the prison, Rick asks Carl if the boy was handing his gun over. Carl admits that he killed the boy just to be safe. He did it, Carl explains, because that walker he didn’t kill then killed Dale, and Rick didn’t kill Guv who killed Merle, and, worst of all, Rick didn’t kill Andrew, that prisoner who let the walkers into the prison, resulting in Lori’s death. (And T Dog’s, Carl. Don’t forget T Dog.) Ok, I gotta defend Rick on that last one: he chased Andrew outside into a yard full of walkers. He tried to kill him; the squirrelly bastard just got lucky. Anyhoo, Carl’s explanation relieves me. I was afraid he was turning into a cold blooded killer, but his justification makes sense. In his experience, bad things happen when you don’t preemptively kill. So he’s Team When In Doubt, Take Them Out. Plus, he totally apologized to Morgan for shooting him, so I don’t think Carl is entirely heartless. Carl tells Rick to go kill Guv so Guv doesn’t kill any more of them, and storms off, deliberately dropping Rick’s star as he goes … but he’s still wearing Rick’s hat. Maggie and Glenn say they’ll stay and protect the prison in case Guv returns; Michonne, Rick, and Daryl head out. Out on the highway, they come across the deserted vehicles and walkers chowing down on the fresh kills. They kill the walkers, find Karen hiding.

In the torture room, Andrea gets free just as Zombie Milton rises up and approaches.

Night has fallen. Michonne, Rick, Daryl, and Karen sneak toward the Woodbury wall. Tyrese and Sasha see them, open fire. Karen yells at them to stop shooting, Guv went apeshit crazy and killed the others, Rick et al. saved her. Tyrese lets them in. Rick says Andrea never made it to the prison; they go looking for her. They find her with Zombie Milton. He’s dead, yay! But she’s been bitten. MOTHER %$&@!!!!! Andrea asks if the others are ok, then asks for a gun to kill herself. “I just didn’t want anyone to die,” she says. “I tried.” “You did,” Rick says. Michonne, crying, stays with Andrea. Rick, Tyrese, and Daryl wait outside. After a few moments, they hear a gunshot.

Morning. Daryl’s on his motorcycle, Michonne and Rick are in the truck, Tyrese and Sasha are in a bus. They arrive at the prison and start unloading stuff they got from Woodbury: a bunch of supplies and all the remaining residents. (Hence, the episode title.) Rick looks up … and does not see Ghost Lori. Here’s hoping she’s finally stopped haunting him (because he and Michonne are a future couple!!!!!). A-now-even-more-furious Carl demands to know wtf is up with all the new people; Rick says they will be staying with them from now on. Carl—of course—storms off.

Y'all. Guv is still out there. <<afraid>>

RIP.

The Walking Dead: This Sorrowful Life, 3/24/13

 

Rick’s chatting with Daryl and Hersel. Oh—damn. Looks like Rick’s decided to go through with giving Michonne to Guv. Guess he thinks it’s in the group’s best interest. Neither Daryl nor Hershel is happy with the decision. Hershel crutches off; he wants no part of this. Daryl agrees, but very reluctantly. Rick wants one more person to with them for the hand-off and goes to find Merle. Who is busy tearing up all the cell block’s mattresses, hoping to find a prisoner’s secret drug stash. Rick tells Merle the plan. Merle says if Rick gives Guv Michonne, Guv’s going to “do things to her” and probably “take out both of her eyes.” Merle asks if Rick’s ok with that? Apparently, he is. :( “You cold as ice, Officer Friendly,” Merle drawls.

I’m trying not to be mad at Rick; he has to kids he’s trying to protect. But … <sigh>

Outside, Carl and Maggie make a bunch of noise and distract the walkers while Glenn and Daryl place barbed wire in the yard, and Michonne slaughters walkers who get too close. Then they all jump in the truck, Beth drives them (She’s old enough to drive?) Oh.) inside the yard, and Rick closes the gate. Glenn explains the wire might stop Guv’s goons trying to drive another van full of walkers inside the gates. “Good idea,” Rick says. “It was Michonne’s,” Daryl says pointedly.

Inside the prison, Carol sits stocking ammo and watching over Judith. And questioning Merle.

-- “Are you with us?”

-- “Sure.”

-- “I’m not talking about occupying the same space. Are you with us?”

-- “I’m here for my brother.”

-- “Well, he’s here for us.”

Then she tells him to "pick a damn side." He says exactly what I’m thinking, that she’s not the “little mouse” she used to be when he knew her before. Damn straight, and I totally dig her transformation from abused wife to grieving mother to what she is now: a fighter when necessary, a back-up medical person (See her actions after Hershel’s leg amputation, and a shrewd observer (See the advice she gave Andrea re: Guv.) Now, if she’d just officially become Daryl’s love interest, which I’ve been asking for ALL SEASON LONG, she’d be 100% awesome. Anyhoo, Merle tells her she’s a late bloomer; she tells him maybe he is too. Outside, Daryl tries to apologize to Glenn on Merle’s behalf. Glenn says maybe he could forgive Merle tying him up, beating him up, and then loosing a walker into the room—but not Merle taking Maggie to Guv to be terrorized and humiliated.

Daryl goes looking for Merle, finds him in the boiler room, asks him what he’s doing. Looking for drugs, Merle explains, then tells him Rick’s probably going to change his mind about giving Michonne up. Daryl just shrugs, says yeah probably, but what Rick says goes. Merle taunts him about so blindly following Rick, asks him what happened to him. Daryl asks what happened to him, with Glenn and Maggie. Merle says he (Merle) has done worse, and Daryl needs to grow up. Then Merle validly points out that everyone thinks he’s so terrible for delivering Glenn and Maggie to Guv, when Rick’s about to do the same thing with Michonne. Daryl says he just wants his brother back. Unable to handle the emotional stuff, Merle tells him to shoo. Daryl leaves.  Merle puts some stuff in a duffel bag, next to a rifle. “Looking for drugs” my ass—is Merle packing a bag to go back to Woodbury?

In the cellblock, Hershel sits reading the Bible to Beth and Maggie. Outside, Rick sees Ghost Lori. It shakes him up pretty badly. He goes inside; Hershel starts to try to talk him out of what he’s planning to do, and Rick says he can’t go through with it. YAAAAAAY! If you had anything to do with his change of heart, Ghost Lori, thanks. But, uh oh. In the uncleared section of the prison, Merle is leading Michonne along, feeding her some bull about needing to block the area off. They kill a few walkers—then he knocks her out.

Cut to:

Merle leads a tied-up Michonne through a neighborhood. He tells her about the deal, and that he knew Rick wouldn’t go through with it. But he (Merle) will. They pause for a moment so he can kill an approaching walker with her sword, and he says he’s surprised she didn’t try to run. She calmly replies she’s going to get her sword back first. He just laughs. At the prison, Rick tells Daryl that the exchange is off. Daryl’s like, good call. But, Rick says, he can’t find Merle or Michonne. Daryl volunteers to go after them. Out on the road, Merle tells Michonne that he hopes giving her to Guv will get Guv to let everyone at the prison live. Merle’s just trying to protect Daryl, he explains. She tells him she doesn’t think he’s really a bad guy.

Glenn drops by Hershel’s cell for a visit and—Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!—asks for Maggie’s hand in marriage. Hershel gives him his blessing. I cheer. Love. LOVE, DAMMIT. Glenn goes outside and cuts a finger off a female walker who’s about Maggie’s size to get her ring. Ha! Bloody right he got a ring. If you gotta settle for 1. an engagement-but-probably-never-a-marriage 2. during the effing zombie apocalypse 3. not long before you’re going to die, might as well make the proceedings as normal as possible.

Merle ties Michonne to a post so he can hotwire a car. In the process, he sets off its alarm. The racket attracts a swarm of walkers. Michonne yells for Merle, fighting as best she can with her hands tied. He gets the car started just a walker attacks, kills it, gets her in the car, and they zoom off. As they ride along, she tells him that he’s blowing his chance to become a part of Rick’s group. He tells her she’s just as much on the  outside as he is; she says at least once Guv’s done with her, she won’t have to live with herself. She suggests they just go back. He says he can’t. She asks why not—and he stops the car, slices the wires binding her hands, gives her her sword, and tells her to go back to the prison and get ready for Guv’s attack. He’s got to go handle something. Then he drives off. Ok, wow. That was very much NOT how I thought that was going to end. Elsewhere, Daryl comes across the still-alive head of the walker Merle killed just as Michonne approaches and swords it to death. He asks her if she kills Merle; she tells him Merle let her go. Daryl tells her not to let anyone come after him and runs off.

Using the car radio to attract them, Merle leads a swarm of walkers to the rendezvous point, then jumps out of the slow-rolling car and hides, leaving the music blaring. Martinez, Ben, Allen, Guv, and several more of his goons are standing around, weapons at the ready. (WAIT A MINUTE. Last week, Allen was yelling at Tyrese that he’s the one who takes care of his son, not Tyrese. So, Allen’s idea of taking care of Ben is bringing him along to kill people????) They hear the noise, approach the car, and start shooting at the walkers; from hiding, Merle starts shooting at the goons. He takes out several of them, and just as he’s about kill Guv, Ben gets in the way and is shot. Your fault, Allen!!! Martinez realizes that someone is shooting at them just as a walker attacks Merle. He kills it; then Martinez et al. find him and beat the crap out of him. Guv yells, “Leave him to me!” The two of them fight. It’s savage. Guv actually bites off two of Merle’s fingers. (Gosh, a lot of finger removal this episode.) Guv pulls out a gun. Merle says he’s not going to beg. Guv shoots him.

Maggie stands out in the yard, keeping watch. Glenn puts the ring in her hand. “Yes,” she says immediately. (Awwwwww.) Then they join the others. Rick tells everyone about the deal, and that he was going to go through with it, but changed his mind. He couldn’t give up one person for the greater good because they are the greater good; the only reason they’re alive is that they have each other. He recants his this-is-a-Ricktatorship speech from a year ago (So it’s now a democRICKcy!), and says that how they live isn’t up to him. He’s not their “governor.” They’ll vote to stay and fight, or to abandon the prison. He leaves them to think about it. Up on the watchtower, he sees Michonne returning.

Daryl arrives at the rendezvous point. He sees a bunch of dead walkers and a bunch of walkers eating freshly dead bodies ... including Zombie Merle (who is eating freshly dead Ben). Zombie Merle approaches. Daryl shoves him away a few times, finally kills him, then collapses, crying. 

I’ve been begging for Merle to die, and die horribly, since season one, so I feel not one bit of pity for him, but oh, how my heart aches for Daryl. Comfort him, Carol. :(

The Walking Dead: Clear, 3/3/13

Looking like the world’s grimmest carpool, Michonne, Rick, and Carl ride along, past a sign that reads, “Erin we tried for Stone Mountain.” They pass a guy hiking; he begs and screams for them to stop, but Michonne keeps right on driving. Sorry, dude. Down the road, she drives onto the shoulder to pass a blocked stretch of highway; the car gets stuck in the mud, then gets surrounded by walkers. “Erin,” says a bracelet one of them is wearing. Oh. :( Guess you guys can take that sign down on your way back. Rick cracks his window, begins blowing the walkers away. Later, Michonne waits behind the wheel as Rick shows Carl how to place branches and gravel under the tires to try to get some traction. But Carl’s feeling angsty and would rather argue than pay attention, questioning why Rick brought Michonne. Rick says cuz he didn’t want to leave her at the prison with Merle; plus, Guv wants all them dead, so for now they will work together against their common enemy. He stresses the “for now” part; Michonne, listening through the open car window, doesn’t look happy. Just then they hear yelling and look up; it’s Hiking Guy, running toward them from afar off, begging and yelling at them not to leave him. They get the car unstuck and leave him once more. Sorry again, guy. You can blame Guv for their mistrust of strangers.

They arrive in the little town where Rick once policed, search Rick’s old police station. No guns or ammo. Rick suggests checking bars and liquor stores on Main Street where he signed permits for the owners to keep guns. He think he detects pushback from Michonne, glares at her, asks if he has a problem. She glares back, very clearly says no. They head out … and pass a pile of burned walker corpses. Hmmmmm. Maybe this town ain’t so deserted. On Main Street, they see blockades set up, with ropes and spears and rats in cages to attract/trap walkers. Michonne suggests maybe someone’s already claimed the town. Gee, you think? But Rick insists on quickly checking the aforementioned establishments before they leave. A walker comes up behind them and gets stuck on the blockade ropes—then a shot rings out and it goes down. A guy on a rooftop pops up wearing a helmet and aiming a rifle. Rooftop Guy orders them to drop their guns, shoes, and sword, then turn around and leave. RG starts counting down from ten. Michonne whispers to Rick that she can get up to the roof. Rick whispers to Carl to run for the car. Rick fires at RG; they duck, split up, and run for cover. RG pursues them down onto the street … where Carl shoots him. He goes down. “I told you to go to the car,” Rick says. Um, Rick. Carl? Follow directions? Haha, yeah right. Anyhoo, RG was wearing body armor and isn’t dead, just out cold. Rick removes his helmet—WHOA OMG IT’S MORGAN!!!!

Michonne wants to leave him, but Rick refuses to leave Morgan while he’s unconscious. They carry him in, carefully avoiding his booby traps, and upstairs to find … weapons and ammo galore! Yay! They get busy loading up. Rick finds the walkie talkie he used for a while to keep in touch with Morgan, and, sadly, a note scrawled on the wall that Morgan’s son Duane was zombied. Rick announces, to Carl and Michonne's displeasure, that he wants to wait for Morgan to wake up. So Michonne sits and grabs some chips.
-- Rick [annoyed]: “We’re eating his food?”
-- Michonne [chowing down]: “The mat said welcome.”
Ha ha! Then Carl says he want to go check the daycare around the corner to get a crib for Judith; Michonne says she’ll go with him. They leave. Outside, as she’s killing a walker, Carl tries to give her the slip. She catches up to him; he admits there’s something else he wants to get Judith. Meanwhile, Morgan wakes up certified crazy, screaming, accusing Rick of wearing a dead man’s face. He grabs a knife and tries to kill Rick, stabs him in the shoulder. Rick grabs his gun. Morgan begs him to kill him. Rick ties him up, talks to him, gets Morgan to remember him. And then Morgan remembers that Rick gave him a gun once and tried to get him to shoot his zombie wife Jenny, but he couldn’t do it … and then later, Zombie Jenny got Duane. :(

Michonne and Carl approach a café with walkers galore inside. Michonne won’t let Carl go in. Carl tells her she can’t stop him and starts to storm off. She stops him, tells him he can’t stop her from trying to help. They go back and sneak inside, using Morgan’s rats in cages to distract the walkers. Carl gets a picture off the wall; Michonne slices a walker that tries to grab him; then in the rush to get outside, Carl drops the picture. Michonne sneaks back in and gets it. It’s a picture of Rick, Lori, and Carl. Carl tells Michonne he wanted Judith to know what her mother looked like. Awwwwwwww. Michonne says she was planning to go back inside anyway, holds up a paper mache cat. They laugh. Omg, they’re like totes BFF now. Meanwhile, Rick’s trying to convince Morgan to go back with them, tells Morgan that he can come back from this, that he can belong to something. (Rick, please use this pep talk on yourself the next time Ghost Lori shows up.) Morgan refuses, says he has to stay in the town and clear.

Carl and Michonne return, team-carrying a crib. Rick grabs the ammo/weapon bags; they leave Morgan clearing walker bodies. Carl pauses to apologize to Morgan for shooting him; Morgan says don’t ever be sorry. At the car, Carl tells Rick that everything went ok, and Michonne is good people. Rick is surprised and pleased to hear it. Then Michonne tells Rick that it’s ok that he sometimes sees people who aren’t there; she used to talk to her dead boyfriend. Rick chuckles, and—Shut the front door!—Michonne actually smiles. On the drive back, they pass the mutilated corpse of Hiking Guy; he got himself run over/eaten. They stop long enough to get his pack; then continue. Sorry again, guy. Guv's fault.

Yay, everybody loves/trusts Michonne now! But the real winner of this episode is: Judith, who no longer has to sleep in a mail bin.

The Walking Dead: I Ain’t A Judas, 2/24/13

It’s the day after Guv’s attack. In the prison, everyone is arguing. Hershel, who’s mad cuz nobody listened to him and now Axle’s dead, still wants to leave. Rick, temporarily cured of his crazy, wants to stay. Merle, who’s being kept locked up away from the others (probably in case Michonne or Glenn snaps and tries to kill him), says they should have sneaked away last night cuz by now Guv’s likely got all the roads blocked off. Rick tries to just walk off, but Hershel yells at him to “Get back here!” and then crutches over to remind Rick that he once said, “This isn’t a democracy,” and now he has to own up to that, because he (Hershel) put his family’s life in Rick’s hands. Do something!!! Rick goes outside for a look-see. He thinks he sees something outside the gates? Dammit, Ghost Lori, NOT NOW!!!! Carl joins him … and timidly suggests that maybe Rick should stop being the leader and let Hershel and Daryl handle things; Rick deserves a rest.

At Woodbury, Milton and Guv are tallying their available number of soldiers. Thirty-five, if they count people over the age of thirteen. Guv wants them armed and trained asap. Total 180 from let’s-throw-an-ice-cream-social Guv, haha. Andrea enters, demands to know what happened at the prison. Guv innocently claims that Rick’s group shot at them for no reason. She asks him for a car. He says the roads are blocked, then tells her if she goes to the prison to stay there. She leaves. Outside, she comes across an angry Karen, mad cuz Martinez is after her asthmatic 14-yr-old son Noah. Andrea asks why he’s training people to fight instead of to defend themselves. “Wake up,” Martinez sneers. Yeah, Andrea, seriously. Later, as Guv looks over the new recruits, she tells him about Noah’s asthma. Guv doesn’t care. (Duh.)

At the prison … they’re still arguing and trying to figure out what to. They need to try to repair the outer fence, but doing so would use up pretty much all their ammo. And they’re low on food, too. Glenn wants to hand Merle over to Guv, use him as a peace offering. Daryl, of course, says no. Rick says no; Glenn says nobody asked Rick to live with Shane after Shane tried to kill Rick. Hershel, who’s now wearing a gun in a waist holster—nice  touch—says Merle’s military training may be useful, then goes  to visit him. He quotes some Bible, and Merle shocks and astounds by not only finishing the scripture for Hershel, but knowing the chapter and verse. Then he tells Hershel that when Guv returns, he’ll kill him (Merle), Daryl, and Michonne first, then everybody else, then Rick last so he’ll have to watch his fam and friends die. That’s the kind of man they’re dealing with. Elsewhere, Carol goes to visit Daryl to tell him she’s glad he’s back and warn him not to let Merle bring him down. MAKE OUT ALREADY, DAMMIT. Elsewhere, Merle approaches Michonne as she exercises. He tells her he tried to kill her only because he was following orders, and he hopes they can get past it. He leaves. The look on her face pretty clearly says she’d love to take her sword and relieve him of his penis.

At Woodbury, Andrea asks Milton to cover for her while she slips out for a quick prison trip. He says it’s a betrayal. She says take a look around! Woodbury is now an armed camp with child soldiers, and she just wants to go try to talk the others down before more people get killed. In his office, Guv removes his bandages and examines his destroyed eye, gritting his teeth and shaking with fury as he does so. Then he puts on an eyepatch. Darn. I still hate him, of course, but I’ve always found eyepatches sexy. Milton enters and reports that Andrea asked for his help sneaking out of Woodbury to go to the prison. Effing snitch. Guv tells him to help her. Out in the woods, Andrea and Milton sneak up on a walker. Milton holds it down while Andrea chops its arms off, then goes all Edward-Norton-in-American-History-X on it and curbs it. Well, she uses a rock instead of a curb, and she removes its jaw instead of kills it, but still. It totally reminded me of that scene. She secures the mutilated walker, but before they can leave, another approaches. Andrea kills it. Another approaches—and Tyrese run up and kills it. Allen, Ben, and Sasha join him … then the four of them just stand there staring at Milton and Andrea, wondering why in the hell they have a mutilated walker captive. Milton explains “it’s a diversionary tactic” to keep walkers away. Tyrese asks if they have a camp; Milton tells them about Woodbury. They’re chomping at the bit to get there; he offers to take them and tells Andrea to go; he’ll cover for her with Guv. She leaves with her armless, jawless walker prisoner—Wonder where she got that idea? Tyrese et al. go off to swell Guv’s ranks. Thanks a lot, Ghost Lori.

Hiding behind her captive, Andrea approaches the prison. Keeping watch, Carl and Maggie see her and alert the others. Michonne observes Andrea’s walker-prisoner technique and looks … aw hell, I can’t read her face. Rick lets Andrea in, but it’s not the warm welcome she’s expecting. He throws her against the gate, gives her a pat down, disarms her, makes her get on her knees, takes her bag, then yanks her up and hauls her inside. You can thank Guv for that, Andrea. Inside, she and Carol embrace, but Carol’s the only one happy to see her. Everyone else is very standoffish. They tell her Shane, T Dog, and Lori are dead, and Andrea's asshole new boyfriend tore down the outer fence, shot up the prison, and killed Axle. She says she didn’t know any of that; why’re they being so hostile toward her? Especially if they can make nice with Merle, who kidnapped and beat Glenn. Anyway, she came to try to convince them to talk to Guv. He’s gearing up for war, and he’s got soldiers and weapons. Daryl, Glenn, and Rick make it clear that the only way this is going to end is with Guv’s death. Rick storms off. Michonne and Andrea have a talk in the yard. Andrea accuses Michonne of poisoning Rick and the others against Woodbury; Michonne says all she did was tell them the truth about the place. Andrea says Michonne was hostile from day one; Michonne says cuz she could see that Andrea was under Guv’s spell. And still is. Andrea says she’s still at Woodbury cuz the people there need her; Michonna says she didn’t realize the Messiah complex was contagious. Haha! Andrea tells her to go to hell and starts to storm off; Michonne tells her Guv sent Merle to kill her (Michonne), and he would have sent Merle to kill Andrea, too, if Andrea had gone with her. But she didn’t; she chose a warm bed over a friend. Ooooooh, that hits Andrea hard.

At Woodbury, Guv offers Tyrese and friends food and clothes, says when they’re ready to leave to head west and avoid north. They say they know; they just came from there, ran into some crazy guy in a prison. Milton asks if they know the layout of the prison? Tyrese says he could try to remember. Guv says no rush, sleep on it, they’ll talk tomorrow. He and Milton leave.

At the prison, Andrea holds Judith while Carol gives deets on how Shane and Lori died. Then Carol makes me LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER by advising Andrea to have sex with Guv, give him the night of his life, and then when he falls asleep, kill him. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa ha ha! Why, Carol! You vixen! You minx! Then it’s time for Andrea to say farewell. The give her a car; Rick returns her gun, tells her to be careful. In her rearview, she takes a long look at everyone as Merle opens the gate, then heads off. Night has fallen when she returns to Woodbury. She doesn’t bother sneaking in, just drives up to the gate in full view of the guards. She goes to Guv. He asks if Rick sent her back; she says nope, returning was her call. Cuz you belong here, Guv says, and they start making out. Is she doing what Carol suggested? Let us cross our fingers. At the prison, Beth sings. Yay! I dig her voice. And Glenn and Maggie are sitting next to each other and not fighting. Yay! Yesterday’s near-death scare made them realize life is too short, I’m guessing. During the song, Rick holds Judith as he confers with Hershel and Daryl. (Taking Carl’s advice, to some degree?) He tells them that tomorrow he’s going on a supply run. Daryl volunteers to go; Rick says no, hold things down here; he’ll take Carl and Michonne, whom I guess he now officially is no longer planning to run off. Good. Cut to: Guv’s moonlit bedroom, where he lies fast asleep. Naked Andrea stealthily gets out of bed. Gets her knife. Creeps over to Guv’s side of the bed. Raises the knife … and then lowers it and just goes to stare out of the window. Darn. Guess that explains the episode title.