The Walking Dead: Arrow on the Doorpost, 3/10/13

Rick and Hershel in the car, Daryl on his motorcycle, they approach a run-down farm. Rick and Daryl leave Hershel to keep watch in the car with his awesome hip holster gun and the one of new rifles. They’re pretty bad ass rifles, but still. Hershel???? Why not Maggie or Glenn or Merle? Or hell, Beth or Carol OR SOMEBODY WHO CAN WALK? Anyhoo, Rick and Daryl go noiselessly sneaking around, eventually approach a barn, and split up. Rick enters and comes face to face with … Guv. Ohhhhhh. That’s why Hershel. Maggie and Glenn don’t need to be anywhere near Maggie’s almost-rapist, and seeing Merle might get Guv riled up. Dammit, T Dog, why’d you have to die? You'd’ve been ideal for this. :(  Anyhoo, Daryl peeps in a window, sneaks away. Guv holds up his hands, (“Kill him!” I shriek.), then makes a big show of removing his weapon, asks Rick to do the same. Rick merely holsters his gun. Good call, cuz Guv then sits at a table to which a gun has been strapped.

Outside, Martinez, Andrea, and Milton arrive. Daryl wants to know why Guv is already inside, information Andrea is surprised and annoyed to hear, cuz that apparently wasn’t her plan. She enters, again asks Rick and Guv to end this so no one else has to die. Back outside, the boys are having a pissing contest. Daryl calls Milton the “butler” (which actually makes Martinez [and me] laugh), Milton calls Daryl a henchman, Daryl tells Milton to watch his mouth, Martinez tells Daryl to shut up. They get in each other’s faces; Hershel basically tells them all to grow up; they step off. We LODs (Lovers of Daryl) laugh at the stupidity of Martinez, to actually think he would have won that fight. Back at the prison, the others are arming themselves and distributing/stockpiling ammo. Merle says what they need to do is load up, drive to the rendezvous, and kill Guv. Michonne reminds him they promised Rick and Daryl they’d stay put; Carl and Glenn tell Merle no. Carl and Glenn as de facto leaders: like!

In the barn, Andrea’s trying to peace talk; Guv cuts her off. Rick says he knows what Guv did to Maggie; Andrea looks confused. Rick shows Guv a map, suggests they both agree to boundary lines that will never be crossed. Guv says no; an angry Rick says to Andrea she’d told him Guv was ready to talk. He and Rick order Andrea outside so they can get down to business. And she goes. ::sigh:: Season 2 Andrea had it out with Lori when Lori said Andrea should help cook and clean, yet Season 3 Andrea is ok with being bossed around? Andrea as doormat: dislike. So, Guv blames the whole Glenn-Maggie thing on Merle, saying he misjudged Merle, much like Rick misjudged Shane. He compliments Rick for caring for a baby that might not be his. LOW BLOW. Then he cheerfully offers whiskey.

Outside, a gaggle of walkers approaches. Daryl and Martinez again turn it into a pissing contest, taking turns showily killing. Andrea rolls her eyes and leaves them to it, haha. Afterward, they share a smoke … and their belief that the Rick-Guv Peace Treaty Attempt is going to be a big fat fail. Outside the barn, Milton and Hershel sit chatting. (Time out. I dig Hershel’s ponytail. It makes him look like a founding father. Time back in.) Milton is intrigued that the leg amputation kept Hershel from getting zombied, asks to see the stump. Hershel says, “At least buy me a drink first.” They chuckle. It’s not lost on me that all this temporary camaraderie just goes to show that if not for Guv being a misguided self-important insane loser douche, everybody would be living in perfect harmony. In honor of that, I’m just going to leave this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q. In the barn, Guv tells Rick a sob story about losing his (Guv’s) wife. Which I don’t believe for a second. Andrea told Guv about Judith maybe being Shane’s baby; no doubt she also told him about Rick losing Lori, and now Guv’s playing on that emotion to soften Rick up. At the prison, Merle loads a bag with guns and ammo and tries to head out. Glenn blocks the way. They start fighting. Merle pins Glenn; Maggie and Michonne jump in, grabbing his knife arm and chokeholding him. The three of them, with their barely restrained Merle hatred, totally would have murdered his one-armed ass right then and there, but, POW! Beth, who is totally following Carl into the Junior Bad Ass League, fires a shot into the ceiling, breaking it up.

Outside the barn, Hershel crutches over to Andrea, who asks what happened with Maggie. Hershel just says that Guv’s a sick man. An answer that vague can mean any number of things, none of them good. “I can’t go back there,” Andrea says. Has she come to her senses? Inside, Guv tells Rick he knows Rick acquired a good stash of guns the other day (Damn. Dude’s got spies everywhere.) and though his people aren’t combat-tested like Rick’s, there are more of them, and the fight will last til the last man—but Rick can make it all go away. Guv removes his patch to reveal his ruined eye, says he’ll back off if Rick will hand over Michonne. Whoa! So that's the real purpose of this meeting. Guv is hopping mad about being de-eyed and wants to, slowly and painfully of course, kill Michonne. Which, yeah, is SO RIDICULOUS. Since we've known him, Guv's had like twenty people taken out, faux-raped Maggie, had Glenn beaten almost unrecognizable, tried to kill everyone at the prison, and sent Merle to murder Michonne (thus facilitating the loss of his eye). And all that's ok ... but Michonne making him a little less pretty means SHE MUST HORRIBLY DIE, apparently. ::eye roll:: Hey Guv, megalomaniacal sociopath much?

At the prison, Merle tries to convince Michonne to go with him to kill Guv; she turns him down. Outside—YAYYYYYYY!— Glenn and Maggie chat and FINALLY reconcile. He apologizes for making the aftermath of her almost-assault all about him; they hug and smooch. ::cheering:: (Now if Daryl and Carol would for pete’s sake get it on already, I will be a happy fan.) Then they sneak inside for some quick make-up sex, and. It. Is. So. Hot. (Just so I won’t have to worry about this, I’m just going to pretend they totally use condoms, and Maggie is not going to get pregnantized and then die in childbirth like Lori.) Back at the barn, Rick asks if a dumb vendetta isn’t beneath Guv? Guv simply repeats his offer and gives Rick two days to think about it, says he’ll be back at the barn then at noon. Meeting over. They head outside … and Andrea gets in the truck and leaves with Guv. ::beating head into wall:: Back at Woodbury, Guv surprises NONE OF US when he orders Martinez to have men positioned all around the barn, and when Rick et al. arrive with Michonne, kill everybody but keep her alive. Uncomfortable with that, Milton says it’s a slaughter. Guv says they were going to have to kill Rick sooner or later. Guv thanks Andrea for setting up the meeting, tells her he gave Rick some terms to consider. “What terms?” she asks, he doesn’t answer. “Hope it works out,” she says coolly, then walks off. Well, she didn’t leave, but I think (hope) it’s safe to say Andrea is over Guv.

Back at the prison, Rick tells the group only that Guv wants them all dead, and they’re going to war. Later, he confides to Hershel that the offer was Michonne-for-peace. “He’ll kill her,” Hershel says. Rick nods. “And then kill us anyway.” But then Rick questions what if maybe possibly Guv’ll keep his word? HE WON’T, RICK. Hershel reminds Rick that Michonne told them about the Maggie-Glenn kidnapping and has saved many lives. Including his (Hershel's). Rick says yeah, he’s hoping Hershel can talk him out of handing her over. As are we all. Michonne is “one of us,” Carl said.

The Walking Dead: Clear, 3/3/13

Looking like the world’s grimmest carpool, Michonne, Rick, and Carl ride along, past a sign that reads, “Erin we tried for Stone Mountain.” They pass a guy hiking; he begs and screams for them to stop, but Michonne keeps right on driving. Sorry, dude. Down the road, she drives onto the shoulder to pass a blocked stretch of highway; the car gets stuck in the mud, then gets surrounded by walkers. “Erin,” says a bracelet one of them is wearing. Oh. :( Guess you guys can take that sign down on your way back. Rick cracks his window, begins blowing the walkers away. Later, Michonne waits behind the wheel as Rick shows Carl how to place branches and gravel under the tires to try to get some traction. But Carl’s feeling angsty and would rather argue than pay attention, questioning why Rick brought Michonne. Rick says cuz he didn’t want to leave her at the prison with Merle; plus, Guv wants all them dead, so for now they will work together against their common enemy. He stresses the “for now” part; Michonne, listening through the open car window, doesn’t look happy. Just then they hear yelling and look up; it’s Hiking Guy, running toward them from afar off, begging and yelling at them not to leave him. They get the car unstuck and leave him once more. Sorry again, guy. You can blame Guv for their mistrust of strangers.

They arrive in the little town where Rick once policed, search Rick’s old police station. No guns or ammo. Rick suggests checking bars and liquor stores on Main Street where he signed permits for the owners to keep guns. He think he detects pushback from Michonne, glares at her, asks if he has a problem. She glares back, very clearly says no. They head out … and pass a pile of burned walker corpses. Hmmmmm. Maybe this town ain’t so deserted. On Main Street, they see blockades set up, with ropes and spears and rats in cages to attract/trap walkers. Michonne suggests maybe someone’s already claimed the town. Gee, you think? But Rick insists on quickly checking the aforementioned establishments before they leave. A walker comes up behind them and gets stuck on the blockade ropes—then a shot rings out and it goes down. A guy on a rooftop pops up wearing a helmet and aiming a rifle. Rooftop Guy orders them to drop their guns, shoes, and sword, then turn around and leave. RG starts counting down from ten. Michonne whispers to Rick that she can get up to the roof. Rick whispers to Carl to run for the car. Rick fires at RG; they duck, split up, and run for cover. RG pursues them down onto the street … where Carl shoots him. He goes down. “I told you to go to the car,” Rick says. Um, Rick. Carl? Follow directions? Haha, yeah right. Anyhoo, RG was wearing body armor and isn’t dead, just out cold. Rick removes his helmet—WHOA OMG IT’S MORGAN!!!!

Michonne wants to leave him, but Rick refuses to leave Morgan while he’s unconscious. They carry him in, carefully avoiding his booby traps, and upstairs to find … weapons and ammo galore! Yay! They get busy loading up. Rick finds the walkie talkie he used for a while to keep in touch with Morgan, and, sadly, a note scrawled on the wall that Morgan’s son Duane was zombied. Rick announces, to Carl and Michonne's displeasure, that he wants to wait for Morgan to wake up. So Michonne sits and grabs some chips.
-- Rick [annoyed]: “We’re eating his food?”
-- Michonne [chowing down]: “The mat said welcome.”
Ha ha! Then Carl says he want to go check the daycare around the corner to get a crib for Judith; Michonne says she’ll go with him. They leave. Outside, as she’s killing a walker, Carl tries to give her the slip. She catches up to him; he admits there’s something else he wants to get Judith. Meanwhile, Morgan wakes up certified crazy, screaming, accusing Rick of wearing a dead man’s face. He grabs a knife and tries to kill Rick, stabs him in the shoulder. Rick grabs his gun. Morgan begs him to kill him. Rick ties him up, talks to him, gets Morgan to remember him. And then Morgan remembers that Rick gave him a gun once and tried to get him to shoot his zombie wife Jenny, but he couldn’t do it … and then later, Zombie Jenny got Duane. :(

Michonne and Carl approach a café with walkers galore inside. Michonne won’t let Carl go in. Carl tells her she can’t stop him and starts to storm off. She stops him, tells him he can’t stop her from trying to help. They go back and sneak inside, using Morgan’s rats in cages to distract the walkers. Carl gets a picture off the wall; Michonne slices a walker that tries to grab him; then in the rush to get outside, Carl drops the picture. Michonne sneaks back in and gets it. It’s a picture of Rick, Lori, and Carl. Carl tells Michonne he wanted Judith to know what her mother looked like. Awwwwwwww. Michonne says she was planning to go back inside anyway, holds up a paper mache cat. They laugh. Omg, they’re like totes BFF now. Meanwhile, Rick’s trying to convince Morgan to go back with them, tells Morgan that he can come back from this, that he can belong to something. (Rick, please use this pep talk on yourself the next time Ghost Lori shows up.) Morgan refuses, says he has to stay in the town and clear.

Carl and Michonne return, team-carrying a crib. Rick grabs the ammo/weapon bags; they leave Morgan clearing walker bodies. Carl pauses to apologize to Morgan for shooting him; Morgan says don’t ever be sorry. At the car, Carl tells Rick that everything went ok, and Michonne is good people. Rick is surprised and pleased to hear it. Then Michonne tells Rick that it’s ok that he sometimes sees people who aren’t there; she used to talk to her dead boyfriend. Rick chuckles, and—Shut the front door!—Michonne actually smiles. On the drive back, they pass the mutilated corpse of Hiking Guy; he got himself run over/eaten. They stop long enough to get his pack; then continue. Sorry again, guy. Guv's fault.

Yay, everybody loves/trusts Michonne now! But the real winner of this episode is: Judith, who no longer has to sleep in a mail bin.

The Walking Dead: I Ain’t A Judas, 2/24/13

It’s the day after Guv’s attack. In the prison, everyone is arguing. Hershel, who’s mad cuz nobody listened to him and now Axle’s dead, still wants to leave. Rick, temporarily cured of his crazy, wants to stay. Merle, who’s being kept locked up away from the others (probably in case Michonne or Glenn snaps and tries to kill him), says they should have sneaked away last night cuz by now Guv’s likely got all the roads blocked off. Rick tries to just walk off, but Hershel yells at him to “Get back here!” and then crutches over to remind Rick that he once said, “This isn’t a democracy,” and now he has to own up to that, because he (Hershel) put his family’s life in Rick’s hands. Do something!!! Rick goes outside for a look-see. He thinks he sees something outside the gates? Dammit, Ghost Lori, NOT NOW!!!! Carl joins him … and timidly suggests that maybe Rick should stop being the leader and let Hershel and Daryl handle things; Rick deserves a rest.

At Woodbury, Milton and Guv are tallying their available number of soldiers. Thirty-five, if they count people over the age of thirteen. Guv wants them armed and trained asap. Total 180 from let’s-throw-an-ice-cream-social Guv, haha. Andrea enters, demands to know what happened at the prison. Guv innocently claims that Rick’s group shot at them for no reason. She asks him for a car. He says the roads are blocked, then tells her if she goes to the prison to stay there. She leaves. Outside, she comes across an angry Karen, mad cuz Martinez is after her asthmatic 14-yr-old son Noah. Andrea asks why he’s training people to fight instead of to defend themselves. “Wake up,” Martinez sneers. Yeah, Andrea, seriously. Later, as Guv looks over the new recruits, she tells him about Noah’s asthma. Guv doesn’t care. (Duh.)

At the prison … they’re still arguing and trying to figure out what to. They need to try to repair the outer fence, but doing so would use up pretty much all their ammo. And they’re low on food, too. Glenn wants to hand Merle over to Guv, use him as a peace offering. Daryl, of course, says no. Rick says no; Glenn says nobody asked Rick to live with Shane after Shane tried to kill Rick. Hershel, who’s now wearing a gun in a waist holster—nice  touch—says Merle’s military training may be useful, then goes  to visit him. He quotes some Bible, and Merle shocks and astounds by not only finishing the scripture for Hershel, but knowing the chapter and verse. Then he tells Hershel that when Guv returns, he’ll kill him (Merle), Daryl, and Michonne first, then everybody else, then Rick last so he’ll have to watch his fam and friends die. That’s the kind of man they’re dealing with. Elsewhere, Carol goes to visit Daryl to tell him she’s glad he’s back and warn him not to let Merle bring him down. MAKE OUT ALREADY, DAMMIT. Elsewhere, Merle approaches Michonne as she exercises. He tells her he tried to kill her only because he was following orders, and he hopes they can get past it. He leaves. The look on her face pretty clearly says she’d love to take her sword and relieve him of his penis.

At Woodbury, Andrea asks Milton to cover for her while she slips out for a quick prison trip. He says it’s a betrayal. She says take a look around! Woodbury is now an armed camp with child soldiers, and she just wants to go try to talk the others down before more people get killed. In his office, Guv removes his bandages and examines his destroyed eye, gritting his teeth and shaking with fury as he does so. Then he puts on an eyepatch. Darn. I still hate him, of course, but I’ve always found eyepatches sexy. Milton enters and reports that Andrea asked for his help sneaking out of Woodbury to go to the prison. Effing snitch. Guv tells him to help her. Out in the woods, Andrea and Milton sneak up on a walker. Milton holds it down while Andrea chops its arms off, then goes all Edward-Norton-in-American-History-X on it and curbs it. Well, she uses a rock instead of a curb, and she removes its jaw instead of kills it, but still. It totally reminded me of that scene. She secures the mutilated walker, but before they can leave, another approaches. Andrea kills it. Another approaches—and Tyrese run up and kills it. Allen, Ben, and Sasha join him … then the four of them just stand there staring at Milton and Andrea, wondering why in the hell they have a mutilated walker captive. Milton explains “it’s a diversionary tactic” to keep walkers away. Tyrese asks if they have a camp; Milton tells them about Woodbury. They’re chomping at the bit to get there; he offers to take them and tells Andrea to go; he’ll cover for her with Guv. She leaves with her armless, jawless walker prisoner—Wonder where she got that idea? Tyrese et al. go off to swell Guv’s ranks. Thanks a lot, Ghost Lori.

Hiding behind her captive, Andrea approaches the prison. Keeping watch, Carl and Maggie see her and alert the others. Michonne observes Andrea’s walker-prisoner technique and looks … aw hell, I can’t read her face. Rick lets Andrea in, but it’s not the warm welcome she’s expecting. He throws her against the gate, gives her a pat down, disarms her, makes her get on her knees, takes her bag, then yanks her up and hauls her inside. You can thank Guv for that, Andrea. Inside, she and Carol embrace, but Carol’s the only one happy to see her. Everyone else is very standoffish. They tell her Shane, T Dog, and Lori are dead, and Andrea's asshole new boyfriend tore down the outer fence, shot up the prison, and killed Axle. She says she didn’t know any of that; why’re they being so hostile toward her? Especially if they can make nice with Merle, who kidnapped and beat Glenn. Anyway, she came to try to convince them to talk to Guv. He’s gearing up for war, and he’s got soldiers and weapons. Daryl, Glenn, and Rick make it clear that the only way this is going to end is with Guv’s death. Rick storms off. Michonne and Andrea have a talk in the yard. Andrea accuses Michonne of poisoning Rick and the others against Woodbury; Michonne says all she did was tell them the truth about the place. Andrea says Michonne was hostile from day one; Michonne says cuz she could see that Andrea was under Guv’s spell. And still is. Andrea says she’s still at Woodbury cuz the people there need her; Michonna says she didn’t realize the Messiah complex was contagious. Haha! Andrea tells her to go to hell and starts to storm off; Michonne tells her Guv sent Merle to kill her (Michonne), and he would have sent Merle to kill Andrea, too, if Andrea had gone with her. But she didn’t; she chose a warm bed over a friend. Ooooooh, that hits Andrea hard.

At Woodbury, Guv offers Tyrese and friends food and clothes, says when they’re ready to leave to head west and avoid north. They say they know; they just came from there, ran into some crazy guy in a prison. Milton asks if they know the layout of the prison? Tyrese says he could try to remember. Guv says no rush, sleep on it, they’ll talk tomorrow. He and Milton leave.

At the prison, Andrea holds Judith while Carol gives deets on how Shane and Lori died. Then Carol makes me LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER by advising Andrea to have sex with Guv, give him the night of his life, and then when he falls asleep, kill him. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa ha ha! Why, Carol! You vixen! You minx! Then it’s time for Andrea to say farewell. The give her a car; Rick returns her gun, tells her to be careful. In her rearview, she takes a long look at everyone as Merle opens the gate, then heads off. Night has fallen when she returns to Woodbury. She doesn’t bother sneaking in, just drives up to the gate in full view of the guards. She goes to Guv. He asks if Rick sent her back; she says nope, returning was her call. Cuz you belong here, Guv says, and they start making out. Is she doing what Carol suggested? Let us cross our fingers. At the prison, Beth sings. Yay! I dig her voice. And Glenn and Maggie are sitting next to each other and not fighting. Yay! Yesterday’s near-death scare made them realize life is too short, I’m guessing. During the song, Rick holds Judith as he confers with Hershel and Daryl. (Taking Carl’s advice, to some degree?) He tells them that tomorrow he’s going on a supply run. Daryl volunteers to go; Rick says no, hold things down here; he’ll take Carl and Michonne, whom I guess he now officially is no longer planning to run off. Good. Cut to: Guv’s moonlit bedroom, where he lies fast asleep. Naked Andrea stealthily gets out of bed. Gets her knife. Creeps over to Guv’s side of the bed. Raises the knife … and then lowers it and just goes to stare out of the window. Darn. Guess that explains the episode title.

The Walking Dead: Home, 2/17/13

As he looks through binoculars out over the prison yard, Rick sees Michonne … and then Ghost Lori, over by the graves. He runs to her; she disappears. Then he sees her outside the gates. He runs to her, past a very confused Michonne. He approaches. Ghost Lori smiles at him, caresses his face. Back in the yard, a thoroughly baffled Michonne watches from a distance as Rick stands there all alone reaching out to nothing.

At Woodbury, the wall has been repaired, it seems. Somber, well armed guards keep vigilant watch, and there is no one out on the streets. In her room, Andrea hears a knock at the door. It’s Guv. He praises the speech she gave to calm the townspeople. Andrea cuts to the chase, asks if he’ll retaliate against her friends. Guv says no. She says she wants to go see them. He completely ignores that—Seriously. He doesn’t acknowledge it at all.—and he says he’s not fit to lead anymore, asks if she’ll do it, leaves her to think about it. Out in the woods, Daryl and Merle are hunting. Or, trying to, but they’re not finding anything. Daryl suggests they go to the prison. Merle says by now, Guv and his henchmen are probably attacking and killing Rick et al. Then he calmly suggests he and Daryl try their luck at fishing?

In the prison, the group minus Rick stands around discussing prison-defending strategery because, like everybody except Andrea, they know Guv’s coming. Carl shows Glenn on a chalk diagram where he (Carl) found Tyrese’s group. It’s an area they thought was secure. If walkers can get in, Glenn says, it’ll be cake for Guv and his peeps. Beth says maybe he won’t come; Michonne says, um, dude had heads in fishtanks. He’s crazy. He’s coming. Glenn proposes sneaking back into Woodbury and killing Guv. Maggie storms off. Hershel says Rick wouldn’t allow this; Glenn says Rick’s in no condition to be making decisions. (So I guess they’re all well aware of The Madness Of Rick, and are just leaving him to work through it.) Hershel talks Glenn out of the assassination, proposes they leave the prison. Glenn says no, not with Hershel missing a leg and Baby Judith crying all the time. They'll stay at the prison, Glenn says, and defend it. Glenn tells Carl to come with him into the tombs so they can try to find the breach. Michonne volunteers to help; Glenn asks her to stay with the others in case anything happens. So, now that Rick’s mentally AWOL, does she no longer have to leave? Hope so.

Back at Woodbury, Guv visits Milton, asks him to keep an eye on Andrea because he (Guv) is not sure “where her loyalties lie.” OMG STOP SAYING THAT. “Not sure if I can trust her” will do just fine, you pretentious prick. Elsewhere, Andrea asks Karen, one of the armed peeps patrolling the wall, where’s Martinez. Karen will say only that he left. Andrea asks Milton where’s Guv. Milton tries to convince her, quite unconvincingly, that Guv went on a supply run. Andrea stalks off. She knows damn well where he’s gone.

Glenn and Carl return, report that the tombs are overrun. Hershel again brings up deserting the prison. Glenn says no; they’re staying. He’ll take Maggie and drive around to take a look to see where the walkers are coming in. Hershel asks if Glenn thinks Maggie’s up to that. Glenn goes to check on her. She’s just lying on her cot. He asks her what’s wrong. She tells him what Guv did to her, making her take her shirt off, bending her over a table, and all the rest. Glenn asks if he raped her; she says no. Glenn reaches for her; she shoves him and tells him to go away. He does. I’m … not understanding. Is she mad cuz she thinks Glenn would have been disgusted by her if Guv had raped her? Does Glenn feel like she allowed herself to be victimized? #couplestherapy Outside, Carol and Axle are stacking crates and tabletops to hide behind. She shows him how to use a gun. They flirt a wee bit. I cannot approve of this, for we all know that Carol and Daryl are meant to be. For pete’s sake, THEIR NAMES RHYME.

Out in the woods, Daryl and Merle are traipsing along, arguing about which body of water they’re closest to, when Daryl hears a baby. Merle says it’s probably two raccoons having sex. Right. Sure, Merle. They come across some people under attack from walkers, a Latino family, two dudes up on a truck and a lady with A BABY in a car. They (mostly Daryl) help kill the walkers; then Merle starts looking through their stuff, ordering one of the men to “Slow down, beaner.” *sigh* Daryl points his bow at Merle, tells him to get out of the car, tells the men to get in the car and leave. They go. Daryl and Merle have it out. Daryl says he didn’t leave Merle; he went back for him when Merle was left on that roof, but he was gone. And it was Merle’s fault he had to cut his hand off. “You asked for it!” (Somewhere, T Dog is laughing.) Merle says it’s funny that Daryl and Rick are so close given the fact that Daryl and Merle were planning to rob the camp. Daryl says well, it didn’t happen. Merle says only because he wasn’t there to help. Daryl says yep, like when they were kids, “Who left who then?”, and calls Merle a simple-minded piece of shit. (LIKE.) An enraged Merle grabs at him, tears Daryl’s shirt—and becomes very disturbed upon seeing scars on Daryl’s back. 
-- Merle: “I didn’t know he…” 
-- Daryl: “Yeah, he did. He did the same to you. That’s why you left first.” 
-- Merle: “I had to. I would have killed him otherwise.” 
(Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ok. I’m theorizing that the Dixon brothers were victims of terrible childhood physical-or-probably-sexual abuse. :( Daryl handled it by becoming an antisocial loner; Merle, by becoming an obnoxious racist loudmouth. Ok, he’s still a gigantic asshat, but I am one degree less mad at Merle for his bigotry. ONE DEGREE.) Daryl says he’s going back to where he belongs. Yay! Merle says, but he (Merle) can’t go with him because he tried to kill “the black bitch” and “the Chinese kid.” Daryl says, “I may be the one walking away, but you’re the one leaving. Again.” He leaves. After a moment, Merle follows.

At the prison, Beth takes Judith to Maggie, and I’m glad to see that baby-cuteness can penetrate Maggie’s mental funk. Outside, Hershel tries to keep Glenn from going off alone, but Glenn goes anyway. Hershel then tries to talk to Rick, calling him over from aimlessly wandering outside the gates. Rick admits he’s been seeing Ghost Lori, and that he saw Ghost Shane back at Woodbury. Hershel asks, was that them on that “phone call,” too? Rick nods, says he knows they’re not real, but it has to mean something, right? Hershel pleads with him to come inside and get some rest. Rick refuses and heads back into the woods. Inside the gates, Axle and Carol stand chatting when, BOOM! Axle falls dead of a bullet to the head. And with that, we bid adieu to the last of the prisoners. Outside the gates, Guv and his henchmen open fire. Maggie runs out with weapons; they return fire, but Guv et al. are better armed. They get everyone pinned down, then drive a truck through the outer gates, leaving them wide open and uncloseable. Inside the truck is a gaggle of walkers. The driver runs off after releasing them into the yard. Note the high degree of asshole-ishness: Guv didn’t want them shot; he wanted them eaten alive. Sure everyone will be dead soon, he and his henchman head out. A shocked Glenn returns, just in time to see Guv drive off. Michonne runs through the outer yard, slicing and beheading the imported walkers. Rick runs out of bullets and is about to be walker food when Merle and Daryl arrive just in time, join in the fight. Making this the first—and probably last—time we’ll ever be glad to see Merle. Glenn drives over to Hershel; he and Michonne get him in the truck; they join Carl, Carol, Maggie, and Beth inside the inner gate. Rick, Daryl, and Merle are stuck outside.

So … did Tyrese’s group leave?

The Walking Dead: The Suicide King, 2/10/13

Merle and Daryl just stand there as the bloodthirsty Woodburyians scream at them to get started committing fratricide already. (My heart is aching for Daryl, but oh how I’m loving seeing Merle brought so low.) Andrea runs up to Guv, his henchman holds her back, she insists that he stop this. He says it’s not up to him because the people have spoken. *eye roll* Guv tells everybody what to do, where to go, and when to be there, but suddenly, decisions aren’t up to him? Daryl’s hands are freed; Guv tells Merle to prove where his loyalties lie and kill Daryl. Zombies are brought out. It’s looking dire. Suddenly, bullets start flying. Rick and Maggie throw smoke grenades, shoot out the lights, and fire into the crowd, taking out Guv’s henchmen (RIP, Haley.) in addition to zombies. Guv looks not the least bit concerned. As terrified Woodburyians run around screaming, Daryl and Merle find Maggie and Rick and slip away—after Daryl beats up a henchman and gets his bow and arrows back. WIN. Merle shows them a way out. Rick says Merle’s not going with them. Merle says now’s not the time for this little spat; he breaks out a section of fence, and the group flees into the night ... probably-not-accidentally leaving the fence open.

Out on the road, wounded Michonne and badly bruised Glenn wait at the car. Daryl, Rick, Maggie, and Merle approach  Merle tried to kill Michonne a few days ago, and beat the almighty shit out of Glenn like an hour ago, so Michonne draws her sword and Glenn pulls his gun, and they both try to send Merle to hell. He hides behind Daryl. Pussy. Rick et al. talk Michonne and Glenn down, inform them that Merle helped them get away. Merle is being super obnoxious and not helping much. He calls Michonne “my Nubian queen here,” tells the others she had two walkers she kept chained up, which is ironic (Get it? Because Michonne is black. Get it? SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL HIM.), and tells her that Guv’s been boning Andrea. “Andrea’s in Woodbury?” asks a shocked Glenn. Michonne tries again to sword Merle's racist ass to death; Rick intervenes. Merle yells a bunch of insults; Ricks knocks him out. YAY RICK.

Back at the prison, the newcomers, Tyrese, Allen, Ben, and Sasha, are making all friendly-like. Hershel patches up a wound on Allen’s leg, Sasha tells Beth little baby Judith is beautiful, Axle (who has FINALLY changed out of his prison jumpsuit!) brings some food, Tyrese relays the group’s difficulties trying to survive out there, and garners a few chuckles when he surmises he’s “the first brother in history to break into prison.” Heh. I like Tyrese. But Hershel warns Tyrese not to get too comfortable, that the decision to let them stay isn’t up to him.

Out on the road, the group is heatedly discussing wtf to do with Merle. Nobody wants him around … so Daryl decides to leave with him. :( Daryl gets his bow and arrows, and the Dixons head off into the woods. Nooooooooo. Come back, Daryl. Dammit. Whatever it is Merle will finally do that will make Daryl leave him, may it happen soon. Ricks tells Michonne they’ll patch up her wounds; then she has to leave. Wait … why? I think Rick’s taking out his anger at Daryl leaving on her. The group drives off, has to stop a short time later to move a truck blocking the road. Glenn opens the truck door; a zombie pops out. (I jump three feet.) Glenn throws it to the ground and stomps its head in. Ha! Gangsta. He’s venting some pent-up rage at Rick not killing Merle after what Merle did/let happen to Maggie. He and Rick argue; Maggie says come on, let’s just get back and talk about it then; Glenn says he’s done talking about it.

At the prison, Tyrese and Allen are carrying Donna’s body outside to bury it; Ben and Sasha follow. They pause for a moment in the yard, and Allen, who's apparently a huge asshole, proposes they try to take the prison. Ben’s all like, hell yeah; Tyrese and Sasha are like, no. Allen’s like, come on; it’s survival of the fittest. Tyrese asks, is he going to bash the baby’s head in with a rock? Allen says let’s do this now before their people get back and make us leave; Tyrese is firmly like, no. I like Tyrese. Elsewhere, Carl confides to Carol that he feels guilty for being mean to Lori; Carol tells him not to think about that. Rick, Glenn, Maggie, and Michonne arrive just then. Carol asks about Daryl; Rick explains he went off with Merle. :( Carl asks about Oscar; Rick says he didn’t make it. Yay, somebody remembered Oscar!

At Woodbury, Milton informs Andrea, who will NEVER realize that Guv is an asshole, that Guv’s holed up in his apartment and won’t come out. Milton and Andrea head to the front gate, where a gaggle of residents are demanding that the henchman let them out. I don’t understand #1 why the henchman don’t just let them leave—Fewer mouths to feed!—or #2 why after finding out that there are not just zombies but also people outside the walls who want to kill them, the residents are suddenly eager to go outside said walls. Everybody in this whole damn town is stupid. Screams interrupt the ruckus; a couple zombies are chewing on a dude. Andrea and a henchman take them out. Bitten dude lies there, suffering. “Do something!” some chick in the crowd says mournfully. Omg, you people are so lame. Kill this dude before he turns, and then go figure out where the zombies came from! Or … just stand around. Guv solves it, walks up and blows bitten dude’s brains out; then stalks off. Andrea follows, tells him he needs to talk to the people; they’re scared and ready to leave. He says let them; she says they won’t last a day. He says they’ve had it too easy with their barbecues and picnics, but that ends now. Andrea reads my mind and tells him not to blame them for the mess he created. Yeah! After all, he was the one putting on the damn bbqs and zombie fight clubs and other such nonsense. He says yeah, but he’s done holding their hands; there’s a war going on and he should have been readying for it. Look, it’s great he finally had this (obvious) realization, but he should deal with the townspeople, dammit. Andrea then asks what Daryl was doing there; Guv says he came for her friends, whom he had locked up and interrogated to find out where they were staying. She asks why he never told her that; he says cuz she’s just a visitor passing through, nothing more. I’m expecting Andrea to get really offended, but she just tells him to stop trying to drive her away. SIGH. Milton enters to say that the townspeople are getting really unruly. Guv refuses to go out there. Pussy. So Andrea calms them down.

 

At the prison, Rick walks right past Tyrese n’ friends,

 says nothing. Beth hands him Judith, mentions that she has Lori’s eyes. Rick holds her and just looks sad. Guess he’s still feeling guilty, like Carl. Later, Beth says to Carol that she doesn’t understand why Daryl left, cuz Merle sounds a jerk. YOU SAID IT, BETH. Carol explains that Daryl has a code he lives by; the word needs men like that. They put Judith into her “crib” (a mail bin lined with clean sheets, “Lil Asskicker” written on the side). Hershel tends to Glenn’s bruises. Maggie stops by for a sec, leaves without speaking. Hershel asks what’s wrong; Glenn doesn’t say. Hershel goes to check on Maggie, after telling Glenn he’s like his (Hershel’s) own son. Awwww. Hershel asks Maggie what’s wrong; she doesn’t say. (If I may put on my therapist hat: I theorize that Glenn’s having trouble dealing with Maggie being [sort of] violated. Mad that he couldn’t protect her, he’s now lashing out. And she’s trying to give him some space and let it blow over. Come on, you crazy-in-love kids! Work it out. For me?) Night falls. Hershel checks Michonne, who’s out like a light. Rick wants to know how soon before she can leave; Hershel says a couple days. Beth asks if Guv will come for them, Maggie says yep, Carol says they’re outnumbered and outgunned, Hershel says they could use some reinforcements. Group meeting! Tyrese offers his hand; Rick doesn’t shake it. Tyrese says his group will get their own food and help defend the prison; Rick says no, they have to leave. The others dissent, Rick says look what happened with Danny Trejo, I mean with Tomas. Hershel pulls Rick aside, tells him he’s wrong on this, and he needs to start trusting people. It looks as if Rick is about to agree to letting the newcomers stay—but then he looks up and sees ... Ghost Lori. He freaks completely the eff out. “No, no, no. Why are you here? I can't help you! Get out!” he screams, brandishing his gun. Tyrese et al. clear out. Hershel et al. just stand there, afraid. Your timing sucks, Ghost Lori.