This go-round, the designers must make clothes inspired by a bird. So, they have to give fashion the tweetment! We’re gonna get a real bird’s eye view into the designing process! I hope there won’t be any fowl play! Will this be a wild goose chase? Who’s going to have to eat some crow? I bet the owl doesn’t give a hoot!
Ok, ok. I’ll stop.
The designers are split into teams: Anya/Laura Kathleen - raven, Joshua/Bert - parrot, Viktor/Kimberly - cockatoo. (I was mad nobody got the owl. Owls are cool. See: Harry Potter.) Joshua and Bert are getting along now, but, Bert says, if they’d been put together a few weeks ago, they would have killed the bird. LOL. Team members are competing against each other; winner of this challenge will get $20,000. As happens every season every time money is on the line, somebody has to go into detail about how poor he or she is; this time it’s Joshua, who informs us he has “negative money” in his bank account. Tim enters the workroom and tells them they must make a second bird-inspired look. (At this point, Tim telling them they have to make a second look is getting pretty predictable. It would be more surprising if he didn’t, lol.)
As work progresses, a cockroach disturbs the peace. Kimberly reacts the way I would have: she jumps up onto a table, hops up and down, and screams. Anya reacts the way I wish I would have: she grabs a shoe and kills it. I thought Josh telling her that “that was some Lara Croft Tomb Raider type shit” was a bit rich … then again, I would have been hysterically screaming on a tabletop. Kimberly, really struggling with her looks, accidentally sews through her finger, wanders around aimlessly, then goes to the bathroom to have a good cry. These tears do not annoy me, however, cuz she lost her mom, AND her stepdad, AND her brother. :( Be strong, girlfriend! Tim, sensing her malaise, gives her a fatherly hug of support. I bloody love that Tim. Then, as if all that isn’t enough, her dress is burned on a hot glue gun so she has to start all over with like only three hours left.
Josh scraps a dress, then asks Anya for fabric, then gets mad when she doesn’t want to give him any cuz he offered her some that time she lost her money. Jerk, this is different. Anya accidentally lost her money and genuinely needed help. Josh, on the other hand, up and decided his look was “heinous!” then tried to guilt trip Anya. Plus, there’s TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS on the line this time. So suck it, Josh.
On runway day, Tim says everyone must pick one, and only one, of their two looks to walk the runway. Huh. Unexpected.
I abhor, detest, loathe, and want to shred with scissors both Anya’s and Laura Kathleen’s raven looks. They’re fugly and overpoweringly black. Too literal! Ravens are black; I get that, but their feathers are iridescent, so I would have worked that in with some blue or purple. LK tried with some dark purple feathers, but I HATE FEATHERS ON CLOTHES, so that cancelled it out. The judges hate her look but love Anya’s dress. “Beautiful, modern, and dramatic,” says Nina. Meh. Anya wins; LK loses.
I looooooooooved Bert’s and hated Joshua’s parrot looks. Michael Kors calls Bert’s “pageanty”; Nina says it’s disappointing. Well, I loved it, dammit, and I would so wear it. Wouldn’t be caught dead in Joshua’s, though. HORRID. It is a shapeless, ill-fitting, bright orange ball of blah. Alas, the judges are blown away. “Beautifully draped,” says Michael Kors, “beautifully cut,” says Nina. Meh. Joshua wins, Bert loses.
I looooooooooved Kimberly’s and hated Viktor’s cockatoo looks. Kimberly’s is dramatic and elegant and tres sophisticated. The judges can see flaws, but they are impressed and amazed she made it so fast. “The cut is fabulous” and “there’s something very seductive” say MK and Nina, though she also says it’s a bit “beauty pageant.” Viktor’s is covered in feathers. I HATE FEATHERS ON CLOTHES. The judges like its construction and movement, but he was too literal. Kimberly wins; Viktor loses. YAY!
Anya wins it all. On one hand, yay!, cuz she’s not on my Please Don’t Win list. On the other hand, boooooo!, cuz I couldn't stand her dress and I wanted Kimberly to win. Oh well. Better her than that insufferable Josh. Spend that $20K in good health, girl!
Bert and Laura Kathleen are in the bottom … Bert gets sent home. :(
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