The Walking Dead, 11/13/11

Not that every woman who sleeps in is preggo or anything, but if Lori’s trying to hide the fact that she’s carrying Shane Jr., she should be a little more careful to stick to a normal routine. Anyway, once she’s finally up, Carol asks if she’d ask if it’d be ok if they cooked dinner for Doc and his peeps since, Carol says, Lori is the “unofficial First Lady.” Lori is amused by this.


Now that all the previously ailing are able, The Endless Search for Sophia (TESFS) resumes. Again. During planning, one of Doc’s people, a young fellow named Jimmy, says he’d like to help. (I immediately want to tell him this is a bad idea. It’s like on those old episodes of Star Trek when Kirk, Spok, and baby-faced young Ensign Smith would go off on a mission. Guess who wouldn’t make it back?) Ricks asks Jimmy if Doc’s ok with it; Jimmy says yes, then says he wants a gun. “People in hell want slurpees,” Daryl growls, LOL, then heads off to borrow a horse.

Glenn sits playing guitar on the porch; Maggie approaches. Not one to beat around the bush, he pointedly tells her there are eleven condoms left. She’s all, “You see eleven condoms; I see eleven minutes of my life I’ll never get back.” Hey, cut him some slack! He was nervous; plus you totally came out of nowhere with that proposition. I’m sure next time he’ll last at least fifteen! :)


Out in the forest, Shane and Rick have a pretty hilarious conversation recollecting past sexual conquests. Then they argue. Shane thinks that the fact that everyone’s still TESFSing is beyond ridiculous. I’m sorry, but … I agree with him. Rick says he feels responsible for Sophia cuz he was the one who got her lost. Off TESFSing on his own, Daryl is riding along when he sees Sophia’s doll in the river. He climbs down a steep embankment to retrieve it; then returns to his horse — which gets spooked by a rattlesnake, throws him, and runs away. Daryl falls and falls and falls down the embankment, landing in the river with his arrow in his side. :( He tries to climb back up but falls again. :(

On the farm, Glenn confronts Lori, wants to know why she hasn’t told Rick yet. Which is a good question. She should get this out of the way. Make the happy announcement, then later when Shane asks if it’s his, lie about how many periods she’s missed. Both men are dark-haired; it could work. Maybe she’s not saying anything cuz she’s worried everyone will be so mad at her for being dumb enough to get pregnant that they’ll revoke her First Lady status.


Doc sends his youngest daughter (Awwww, she’s adorable! Send her in to play with Carl. He needs a new friend since SOPHIA IS NEVER GOING TO BE FOUND.) to summon Rick. Doc’s mad that his horse was taken and that Jimmy is TESFSing. That first complaint I can understand, since Daryl apparently took the horse without asking, but that latter one is entirely Jimmy’s fault. Rick specifically asked that little turd if Doc was ok with this, and Jimmy said yes. Liarpants. Rick, ever the peacekeeper, says it’s merely a communication problem and everything will be run by Doc from now on, but the look on Doc’s face as Rick walks away says Doc’s clearly not happy to have visitors. Hmph. I’m grateful to Doc for saving Carl, but I don’t like him very much.


Out in the woods, Daryl is lying semiconscious in the river. Someone approaches. A zomb? No, it’s his brother Merle! Well, Dream Merle. (We know he’s imaginary because he has two hands.) Every bit as racist as Real Merle, Dream Merle gives Daryl a bigoted pep talk, then kicks him fully awake — just in time for Daryl to realize a zomb is gnawing on his shoe and another is shambling toward him. ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH! But, no problem, because Daryl goes Fully Bad Ass. He grabs a branch, beats gnawer to death, yanks the arrow* out of his side, loads his bow, and shoots shambler in the head. (*Raise your hand if you, too, got mad at Andrea all over again for making Daryl waste an arrow on that zomb in the tree.) Now full of I-want-to-live adrenaline, he then again tries the climb, but loses steam. When it looks hopeless, Dream Merle appears again and motivates him as only a big brother can. “Kick off them damn high heels and climb, son!”

Doc tells Maggie he should have been asked if it was ok for Carol and Lori to make dinner, then asks her what’s going on with her and “the Asian boy.” (Oh good god. Yes, he’s old, and yes, at least he didn’t use a racial slur, but I’m suddenly thinking he’d get along great with Dream Merle.) “Don’t get close to them,” Doc warns her.

Glenn, frustrated cuz Maggie’s giving him the cold shoulder, runs a theory by Dale.
- Glenn: “I read somewhere that when women spend a lot of time together, their cycles line up, and they all get super crazy hormonal at the same time.”
- Dale: “I’m gonna advise you to keep that theory to yourself.”
LOL. Glenn keeps Lori’s secret, but does tells Dale that he and Maggie did the naughty. Dale tells him to for the love of God not let Doc find out.


“Walker!” Andrea yells — but it’s not a zomb. It’s a bloody, wounded, and exhausted Daryl shuffling back home. Andrea grabs a rifle, but everyone tells her not to shoot. Theodore (or, as Doc probably calls him, “that negro boy”), Rick, Shane, and Glenn run out to kill it with handheld weapons. Andrea aims. Dale again tells her not to shoot. She ignores him — and shoots Daryl seconds after Rick et al. realize he’s still human. IDIOT BEEYATCH. I’m all for the killing of zombs, but not with a gun 1. after you’ve been asked not to use firearms on your host’s property and 2. everyone’s telling you not to shoot and 3. there’s absolutely no need to waste the ammo! (Although, in all fairness, Daryl looked just LIKE a zomb.)

Oh my god, longest commercial break ever.

Thankfully, Andrea’s bullet only grazes Daryl’s head. Doc bandages it, tends to the arrow wound, then gripes about how quickly they’re running through the antibiotics. Oh, I’m sorry that your man Otis shot Carl, who then needed antibiotics, and that your horse almost killed Daryl, who then needed antibiotics. Prick. (And aren't they Daryl's antibiotics?????)

Shane again brings up to Rick the fact that people need to stop risking their lives TESFSing. I’m sorry, but … agreeeeeeed.

Dinner is an awkward, silent affair. Glenn tries to break the silence asking if anyone knows how to play guitar. “Otis did,” his wife answers, and thus ends that endeavor. Maggie passes Glenn a note asking where he wants to meet again. He scribbles a response, but Doc glances in her direction, so she can’t read it just then. Carol brings a recuperating Daryl a plate of food, kisses his bandaged head, and tells him he's just as fine a man as Rick or Shane. That was nice of her. Later, Maggie opens Glenn's note to see that he wants to meet in the hayloft. She immediately takes off running for the barn. Glenn’s already there, up in the hayloft, looking for a comfy place for Sex With Maggie, Round II — when he smells something awful … and shines his flashlight down on like 20 zombs being held in the barn.

Scream it with me: “WTF??!?!???!!?????”

My theories:
- Doc’s keeping the zombs to observe them. This has been done in Resident Evil: Extinction, I Am Legend, and 28 Days Later — though in none of those movies was a frigging horde being kept.
- The zombs are Doc’s friends and family members. He’s keeping them so that they can be healed once the cure — which, you remember, he told Rick that he firmly believes will be found — is discovered.

LOL, from The Talking Dead:

The Walking Dead, 11/6/11

Daryl, Andrea, and Carol arrive at the farmhouse just in time for Otis’s memorial service, during which Otis’s wife begs Shane to say a few words. With guilt eating him alive (Fitting.), Shane repeats his lie about Otis sacrificing himself. Ok, at this point it’s best to just let everyone believe this. Otherwise Otis’s family would NEVER get closure, Lori and Rick would feel horrible that a man was murdered to save their son, and Carl would have to feel guilty the rest of his life. So you’re a jerk, but good call, Shane. Post service, planning for TESFS (The Endless Search for Sophia) resumes. Doc (sorry, I really hate the name Hershel) irritates me insisting that no guns be used on his property(Finally, Andrea has a legitimate reason to be irritated.); to keep the peace, Rick agrees. Later, Shane asks Lori if she meant it when she asked him to stay; she says yes. As I was the last time she begged him not to leave, I am confused by this. She doesn’t want Rick to find out they were sleeping together, so why doesn’t she want Shane to leave? Shane can’t participate in TESFS cuz he has a sprained, swollen ankle; Rick can’t go cuz he’s still weak from blood-giving; that leaves Daryl, who starts off for the woods alone. Rick tells him he doesn’t have to stick his neck out like that, but Daryl wants to go. Daryl’s really turning into the go-to guy.

Doc tells Rick that once Carl’s fit to travel and Sophia’s found, he expects them all to be on their merry way.

Maggie needs to make a pharmacy run to get medical supplies; Rick suggests she take Glenn with her. Of course he does. Since they spent all last episode pre-flirting, clearly things’re going to get a little more intense this episode. *jealous* Maggie approaches Glenn with a very full-of-meaning “I hear you’re fast on your feet and know how to get in and out.” Ha ha ha to the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Ok, I officially like Maggie. Because that, my friends, was awesome. Lori sidles up to Glenn (The chicks are loving him this episode.) and asks if he can get something from the pharmacy for her. Like the rest of planet earth, I at first assumed it was tampons, but when Glenn had no idea what it was or where to find it, I realized it was a preggo test. (A guy would totally have no idea what EPT or First Response is.) So oh no, Lori might be preggo!!! THAT’s why she doesn’t want Shane to go, cuz she might be carrying his kid. Ok ladies, let us discuss. Unprotected sex during the zombie apocalypse: yay or nay? I get that some hot survivalist sex may be quite tempting, but I hope I have the presence of mind to go with nay. Number one because any STD you catch 1. will have to go untreated :( and 2. will slow you down, making you an easier target for zombs; and number two because — HELLO? — you might get preggo. There is no way in hell I’m going to be running around during the reign of the undead pregnant/with a baby! So, sorry guy, you’re just going to have to settle for having the situation HANDled, if you catch my drift. Hey, it’s better than nothing! Be damned if I end up like Lori. The way she’s been getting it on at will with Shane-then-Rick, I thought maybe she had her tubes tied and didn’t have to worry about such matters, but nope. Fail, Lori. FAIL.


Dale and Theodore (who asks Dale to never mention that delirium-induced craziness he spouted on the highway, lol) are busily pumping water when Dale discovers a zomb in the well. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. It’s all slimy and bloated and ewwwwwwww. Theodore and Glenn want to shoot it, but Andrea and Maggie say no, cuz that’d contaminate the water. So Glenn is lowered into the well to tie a rope around the zomb’s neck. Uh oh. Wait for it … AAAAARRRRRGGHH! The support breaks! Glenn almost falls right on top of the zomb nooooooo save him save him pull him out he’s screaming I’m screaming everybody’s pulling the rope pull guys pull — and he’s out. WHEW! (There are only two minorities on this show, and if either one dies, I am going to be highly upset, dammit.) Somehow during the mayhem, Glenn managed to get the rope around the zomb's neck. Nice. Heave! They try to pull it out of the well, but it tears in half. Yuck. All that for nothing.


Out in the woods, Daryl finds a house. It’s deserted, but he sees a bed pallet and empty food cans … no Sophia, though. Shane, Carol, and Andrea check the highway where they left a note for her … no Sophia. On the way back, Shane tells Andrea, “There ain’t nothing easy about taking a man’s life... But when you get it done, you have to forget it. I guess I haven’t quite got that last part down yet.” Otis guilt, Otis guilt, Otis guilt.


In the pharmacy, Glenn gets Lori’s preggo test, and then Maggie offers him sex. Wait — what? He’s caught completely off guard and goes all kinds of stuttering dork on her, but gets with the program soon enough. Hi five, Maggie! And I fully support this because she propositions him only AFTER finding a box of condoms. Pay attention, Lori. On the horse ride back, Glenn is all smiles. LOL. Doc and Rick are chatting out on the farm; Rick’s mad at God cuz Carl got shot. Doc points out that Rick survived getting shot, then managed to find his wife and son, then Carl survived getting shot. Rick says that just means God has a weird sense of humor. Later, he asks Doc to reconsider making them all leave. Doc says if everyone respects his rules, he’ll consider it. Uh oh. I hope one of those rules is not, “Nobody have sex with any of my daughters.” Maggie and Glenn return; he gives Lori the preggo test; she stuffs it in the back of her jeans.

In the RV, Daryl brings Carol a Cherokee rose. According to legend, it grew along the Trail of Tears where the tears of all the mothers losing their children fell. Carol is comforted by this. Awwwwwwww. That was really super duper nice of him. Lori sneaks outside to take the preggo test, and it’s positive. Instead of a plus, it should have said “duh.”

Next week’s preview: THE RETURN OF MERLE! THE RETURN OF MERLE! And he’s up to no good. Prediction: Daryl's going to have to choose between the group and his brother.

The Walking Dead, 10/30/11

This episode opens with a flashforward: Shane standing naked (I approve.) in a bathroom shaving his head. Well, since I doubt he’s worried about lice, I’m assuming something pretty intense happened to cause that.

Back to now. Shane and Otis are running through the high school, zombs hot on their trail. Underscoring the importance of staying physically fit in the zombie apocalypse, Shane is way ahead of Otis. Eventually, they are trapped atop some bleachers, then split up. In the RV, Daryl can’t sleep cuz Carol won’t stop crying and Andrea is noisily reloading a gun. He leaves to go look for Sophia some more; Andrea goes with him. (FAIL. You do not go traipsing through a pitch black zomb-filled forest at night.) At the farmhouse, Glenn and Theodore arrive. Lori and Rick argue. She’s wondering if Carl wouldn’t be better off dead than having to grow up amongst walking corpses. The answer is OF COURSE NOT, though I kind of understand why a parent would ask that.

Carl wakes. He starts to tell Lori about how beautiful the deer was, but has a seizure. Doc takes more blood from Rick, who by this point should be unconscious. In the forest, Andrea and Daryl come across a zomb hanging in a tree, the end result of an attempted suicide. She wants him to shoot it; he says that’d be a waste of an arrow. He asks if she’s suicidal; she says she’ll answer if he’ll put the zomb out of its misery. (*eye roll* Yes, let’s suddenly start caring about the poor, suffering zombs.) She says she doesn’t know; Daryl says what I was thinking, “Not much of an answer,” and kills the zomb. At the RV, Carol joins Dale on the roof; he decides to go for a walk and hands her his rifle, she says she doesn’t know how to use it.

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME??!??!??? It’s the mother effing zombie apocalypse, AND you have a child to protect, but you don’t know how to use a gun? That’s the first order of business! Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carol with so much as a baseball bat. *annoyed* There will be no Carols in my group of survivors.


At the farmhouse, Theodore is getting his arm stitched up and his told he got the antibiotics just in time. Ok, we can all officially stop worrying about Theodore. They are so not going to kill the last black man on earth. Glenn and Doc’s daughter have some interaction which could be labeled pre-flirting. *jealous* Almost-bloodless Rick, who is white as a sheet and has bags under his eyes, points out to Lori that when Carl woke, all the kid wanted to talk about was the pretty deer in the woods, not how terrible life is, which proves that he’s happy and not better off dead. Doc tells them they shouldn’t wait any longer; he needs to attempt the surgery or Carl’s going to die. They give him the ok. At that exact moment, Shane arrives with the medical supplies Doc needs — but without Otis. Poor guy didn’t make it. :(

Daryl and Andrea return to the RV. Dale gives her back her gun, asks if she forgives him. I was expecting another dumb rant, or perhaps a theatrical “I can’t!” but she says, “I’m trying.” Good.


Doc’s daughter is crying over Otis; Glenn chats with her to take her mind off. *jealous* Carl pulls through surgery ok. THANK GOD. Now get some rest and drink some fluids, Rick. Crying with relief at Carl’s side, Lori asks Shane to stay. He nods. Then he goes upstairs to take a shower. In the bathroom mirror, he notices a patch of hair missing … which, we learn, Otis ripped out during the struggle as Shane shot him and left him for zomb food so that Shane could escape. WHOA! Shane shaves his head to hide the bald spot. Episode ends.

And now, I’m going to shock you: Shane’s actions were understandable.
1. If Shane hadn’t done that, they both would have died, which means Carl would have died.
2. You could argue that Otis had to sacrifice his life in order to save the boy he almost killed.
3. Shane is in love with Lori. He couldn’t let her son die.
Having said all that, I don’t doubt for a second that Shane was just as motivated by his own will to live as much as his desire to save Carl. Mind you, I didn’t say “right,” just “understandable.” Plus, THIS IS ALL CAROL’S FAULT. If she knew how to shoot a damn gun, she could have killed the zombs chasing Sophia, and Carl never would have been shot.

The Walking Dead, 10/23/11

Past! We learn that on the day Rick got shot, he and Lori had had a big fight, but she still loved him.

Present! Rick is running through a field, a bleeding and unconscious Carl in his arms. :( Otis, the rather rotund fellow who shot Carl, is too slow; Rick leaves him and Shane, follows Otis’s yelled directions to a large farmhouse. A doctor, his two daughters, and a young man are there. Rick rushes up. “Was he bit?” Doc asks straightaway. Wise query. Surgery begins immediately. Shane and Otis arrive; Shane wipes Carl’s smeared blood off Rick’s face, calms him down. It’s kind of touching. I really hope Rick never finds out about Shane and Lori. (Although, even if he does, shouldn’t he cut them some slack? They thought he was dead.)



Out in the woods, Andrea assures Carol that Sophia’s probably ok — and Carol, in a moment of incredible insensitivity, says she hopes Sophia doesn’t end up like Amy (Andrea’s recently deceased sister). WTF? Carol hastily apologizes; Andrea initially bristles but handles it well. I, however, would have roundhouse kicked Carol in the face. Andrea tells Carol they’re all hoping and praying with her. Daryl says screw the praying. Sophia’s going to be fine, dammit. Lol. At the farmhouse, Rick is beating himself up about having let Carl accompany him and Shane to search for Sophia. (I hate to agree with him, but …) Shane tells him not to blame himself. Carl, poor little guy, wakes up screaming and struggling during surgery, then, thankfully passes back out again. The doctor digs out one bullet fragment … of six bullet fragments. :( When she’s found, I want somebody to roundhouse kick Sophia in the face.

Back on the highway, T-Dog is in bad shape. His arm wound is infected, leading to some pretty crazy musings. Oh, and we learn his real name: Theodore Douglas. Good. I’m not calling him T-Dog anymore. Sounds like he should have gold teeth and a platinum rap album. Dale suggests they search the cars for antibiotics; they find none. THEODORE says being the only black guy in the group makes his situation pretty precarious (heh) cuz of the “two good ol’ boy cowboy sheriffs and a redneck.” Level-headed Dale reminds him that the redneck saved his life and that the cowboys have been doing a damn good job keeping the group safe. Theodore suggests they hit the road and leave everybody. Dale, realizing something’s wrong, feels Theodore’s head. Dude’s burning up.

Rick’s weak after giving Carl a blood transfusion; despite that, he wants to go get Lori. Shane talks sense into him. Shane is trying really hard to make us all forgive him for the attempted rape. Doc needs to put Carl under to remove the bullet fragments and stop the internal bleeding; he’ll need medical supplies, which Otis says they can find at a high school five miles away, where a FEMA shelter was set up … though it was overrun with zombs last time he saw it. Rick’s too weak, so Shane says he’ll go; Otis, God love him, says he’ll go, too. One of Doc’s daughters asks Rick where to find Lori.


Out in the woods, ZOMB ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Ok, look. I know that in high-pressure situations, it’s very easy to lose one’s head, but still. Andrea gets a big fat FAIL. First, she stabs the zomb in the chest instead of the head; then she trips and falls. *sigh* Fortunately, at that moment, Doc’s daughter comes galloping up on a horse and clocks the zomb in the head with a baseball bat. Nicely done, daughter!!! (I also want to point out that for somebody pretending to be oh-so suicidal and ready to die, Andrea sure was fighting pretty damn hard to get away.) Daughter tells them Carl got shot, tells the others how to find the farmhouse; then she and Lori ride away. Daryl finishes the zomb off with an arrow to the head. And a “Shut up.” Lol.


At the farmhouse, Doc gives his take on the zombie apocalypse: “Mankind’s been fighting plagues from the start. We get our behinds kicked for a while; then we bounce back.” That’s refreshingly optimistic. I hope there’s a Doc type in my group of survivors, to balance out the doom-and-gloom I-fake-want-to-die Andrea type. Daughter and Lori ride up, Lori and Rick cry over Carl, Rick gives Carl a second transfusion. Rick is now so weak he needs help walking. Let us not forget that 1. Rick’s pretty damn skinny and 2. he just woke up not all that long ago from a pretty lengthy coma. I hope somebody else has Carl’s blood type, cuz one more transfusion and Rick’s going to pass the hell out. After calling Otis “the idiot who shot my son” — Hey, knock it off, Lori. It was a mistake. — Lori’s nonplussed to find out that Doc is a veterinarian. Rick reminds her, before almost passing the hell out, they don’t have the luxury of shopping for surgeons. Well put, Rick. Now please go lie down.

Out on the highway, the group decides to stay put one more night in case Sophia finds her way back. Except Glenn, whom Dale orders to take Theodore to the farmhouse to see if they have any antibiotics — but then Daryl’s all, why didn’t you just say so, and pulls out a Ziploc bag containing “my brother’s stash”: crystal meth, ecstasy, pain killers … and antibiotics, because “Merle got the clap on occasion.” LOL. Thank you, Merle's STD. This is the third time tonight Daryl has LOLed me, and the second time he's saved Theodore's life. Daryl is officially not racist.


At the high school, Otis and Shane find zombs all frigging over the place. Eff! They throw some flares to distract them, and then dart into the FEMA trailer.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!! Only one should have gone, then when ready signaled the other, who would then either a. throw more flares to re-distract the zombs or b. drive around in the truck honking the horn all noisy-like and lead the zombs away, allowing the one in the trailer to sneak out, then circle back around and pick him up. (Yes, I totally thought that scenario out. You are supposed to be learning from this show, not just watching it, people.) Not only do Otis and Shane both go, they also don’t have an escape plan. Other than: run. Needless to say, they are bumrushed by zombs. (Otis, I’m glad to see, moves way faster than he did earlier when running after Rick and Carl.) They (barely) manage to lock themselves in a storefront. With a horde of hungry zombs struggling to get in. The episode ends.

How in the HAIL are they going to get out of this?