Top Chef, 11/9/11

Time for the last ten chefs to try to win a chef’s coat.

Group Three:
Everyone enters the Top Chef kitchen, where Padma, Tom, and Hugh Acheson (I LOVE HIM, and I am so stoked that he’s a judge this season!!!) are waiting. The chefs introduce themselves. Ok, it happened again. I said last week that I wasn’t going to pick early faves — and then promptly fell for Nyesha. This week I’m falling for Chaz. The other chefs are touting their accolades and awards; however, Chaz cracks everybody up with, “I was nominated by my mom as one of her two favorite sons.” LOL. Plus, he kinda looks like my friend Charles.

After some discussion and a game of rock-paper-scissors, the chefs decide who gets which tray of ingredients. On each tray, something secret is hiding under a cloche. “Ready, set, lift!” Padma says, and the chefs find timers with the amount of time they have to cook: 60, 40, or 20 minutes. All the 20 minuters are, of course, mad. Cooking begins. Tom and Hugh walk around the kitchen intimidating-oops-I-mean-observing everyone.


Oh my god. Watching Beverly go to town on that nasty nasty gross octopus is making me physically ill. I freely admit that I’m a bit of a culinary wuss: I gladly leave eating the out-there stuff to others. OH NO — Chaz got risotto. Anything but that! Throughout the seasons, having to cook risotto has been the downfall of many a contestant. “It’s been a stumbling block for a lot of Top Chef people in the past,” Hugh says. :( And Chaz has only 40 minutes!

20-Minute Peeps

- Kim: pan-seared lamb chop with kalamata olives, arugula, and pan jus
- Andrew: roasted mushrooms with spinach, poached egg, and a brown butter vinaigrette (Vegetarian dish. More challenging, if you ask me.)
- Paul: grilled trout with rustic Asian tomato salad

Paul: in. Kim: out. Andrew: must cook again. When Andrew enters the stew room, where the other chefs who have to cook again are waiting, somebody asks him, “What are you in for?” Ha ha ha ha hahaha!

40-Minute Peeps

- Chaz: loses track of time, has nothing plated when clock runs out, is sent home. DAMN YOU, RISOTTO!!!
- Berenice: Asian style short rib with cabbage slaw
- Laurent: duck with lemon uzu curd and arugula sautéed with pomegranate molasses
- Jonathan: Spanish style brussel sprouts atop tomato sofrito with paprika and hazelnut gremolata

Jonathan and Berenice: out. Laurent: must cook again.

See? See what I mean about vegetarian dishes being harder to make? In both rounds, vegetarian dishes totally tripped up the chefs. Anybody can work magic with a slab of meat. Making a satisfying, delicious meatless meal is much, MUCH harder and requires way more skill.


60-Minute Peeps

Ok, Lindsay is good people. She tells a struggling Ashley how to take the lid off the pressure cooker. Some would have just let her struggle.
- Ashley: Filipino “kare-kare,” a braised oxtail dish
- Lindsay: braised veal over polenta with a warm salad and charred pickled carrots
- Beverly: Korean “nakji bokum,” an octopus dish (YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK)

Lindsay (yay!) and Beverly: in. Ashley: out.

And now it’s down to all the chefs who had to cook again. Edward: “If they leave me here in the stew room long enough, I’m going to kill the other five people to get that jacket.” HA HA! These six are competing for the last two available spots. They have 45 minutes and can use any ingredient in the kitchen to make an amazing dish. No mercyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!


- Edward: bbq duck, pickled corn, and candied bacon over sweet Asian custard
- Molly: jumbo stuffed prawn with a mousseline of shrimp over uzu burblanc with ponzu pudding and soy glazed watermelon (When it takes me that long to type the dish, I get irritated.)
- Janine: seared scallop with baby clams, bacon, corn, watermelon, and snap peas
- Grayson: bacon-wrapped shrimp over polenta with a port wine fig sauce
- Laurent: tartare scallop, and seared scallop with relish over fennel with saffron
- Andrew: mussels cooked in sherry with fregula pasta, charred corn panna cotta, and charred shrimp

How funny that 5 out of 6 chose seafood. Noticing this, Edward strategically chose duck, but then he grossed me out making a sweet + savory dish. I reiterate for the umpteen quillionth time: I HATE SWEET + SAVORY, and I wish to Almighty God it would hurry up and be considered passé. Please, culinary world? Please stop trying to make dinner + dessert a thing.

Out: Molly, Laurent, Janine, and Andrew. In: Grayson and Edward. I’m hoping he doesn’t sugar it up all season long, but I’m cool with Edward cuz he made me laugh.

The Walking Dead, 10/23/11

Past! We learn that on the day Rick got shot, he and Lori had had a big fight, but she still loved him.

Present! Rick is running through a field, a bleeding and unconscious Carl in his arms. :( Otis, the rather rotund fellow who shot Carl, is too slow; Rick leaves him and Shane, follows Otis’s yelled directions to a large farmhouse. A doctor, his two daughters, and a young man are there. Rick rushes up. “Was he bit?” Doc asks straightaway. Wise query. Surgery begins immediately. Shane and Otis arrive; Shane wipes Carl’s smeared blood off Rick’s face, calms him down. It’s kind of touching. I really hope Rick never finds out about Shane and Lori. (Although, even if he does, shouldn’t he cut them some slack? They thought he was dead.)



Out in the woods, Andrea assures Carol that Sophia’s probably ok — and Carol, in a moment of incredible insensitivity, says she hopes Sophia doesn’t end up like Amy (Andrea’s recently deceased sister). WTF? Carol hastily apologizes; Andrea initially bristles but handles it well. I, however, would have roundhouse kicked Carol in the face. Andrea tells Carol they’re all hoping and praying with her. Daryl says screw the praying. Sophia’s going to be fine, dammit. Lol. At the farmhouse, Rick is beating himself up about having let Carl accompany him and Shane to search for Sophia. (I hate to agree with him, but …) Shane tells him not to blame himself. Carl, poor little guy, wakes up screaming and struggling during surgery, then, thankfully passes back out again. The doctor digs out one bullet fragment … of six bullet fragments. :( When she’s found, I want somebody to roundhouse kick Sophia in the face.

Back on the highway, T-Dog is in bad shape. His arm wound is infected, leading to some pretty crazy musings. Oh, and we learn his real name: Theodore Douglas. Good. I’m not calling him T-Dog anymore. Sounds like he should have gold teeth and a platinum rap album. Dale suggests they search the cars for antibiotics; they find none. THEODORE says being the only black guy in the group makes his situation pretty precarious (heh) cuz of the “two good ol’ boy cowboy sheriffs and a redneck.” Level-headed Dale reminds him that the redneck saved his life and that the cowboys have been doing a damn good job keeping the group safe. Theodore suggests they hit the road and leave everybody. Dale, realizing something’s wrong, feels Theodore’s head. Dude’s burning up.

Rick’s weak after giving Carl a blood transfusion; despite that, he wants to go get Lori. Shane talks sense into him. Shane is trying really hard to make us all forgive him for the attempted rape. Doc needs to put Carl under to remove the bullet fragments and stop the internal bleeding; he’ll need medical supplies, which Otis says they can find at a high school five miles away, where a FEMA shelter was set up … though it was overrun with zombs last time he saw it. Rick’s too weak, so Shane says he’ll go; Otis, God love him, says he’ll go, too. One of Doc’s daughters asks Rick where to find Lori.


Out in the woods, ZOMB ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Ok, look. I know that in high-pressure situations, it’s very easy to lose one’s head, but still. Andrea gets a big fat FAIL. First, she stabs the zomb in the chest instead of the head; then she trips and falls. *sigh* Fortunately, at that moment, Doc’s daughter comes galloping up on a horse and clocks the zomb in the head with a baseball bat. Nicely done, daughter!!! (I also want to point out that for somebody pretending to be oh-so suicidal and ready to die, Andrea sure was fighting pretty damn hard to get away.) Daughter tells them Carl got shot, tells the others how to find the farmhouse; then she and Lori ride away. Daryl finishes the zomb off with an arrow to the head. And a “Shut up.” Lol.


At the farmhouse, Doc gives his take on the zombie apocalypse: “Mankind’s been fighting plagues from the start. We get our behinds kicked for a while; then we bounce back.” That’s refreshingly optimistic. I hope there’s a Doc type in my group of survivors, to balance out the doom-and-gloom I-fake-want-to-die Andrea type. Daughter and Lori ride up, Lori and Rick cry over Carl, Rick gives Carl a second transfusion. Rick is now so weak he needs help walking. Let us not forget that 1. Rick’s pretty damn skinny and 2. he just woke up not all that long ago from a pretty lengthy coma. I hope somebody else has Carl’s blood type, cuz one more transfusion and Rick’s going to pass the hell out. After calling Otis “the idiot who shot my son” — Hey, knock it off, Lori. It was a mistake. — Lori’s nonplussed to find out that Doc is a veterinarian. Rick reminds her, before almost passing the hell out, they don’t have the luxury of shopping for surgeons. Well put, Rick. Now please go lie down.

Out on the highway, the group decides to stay put one more night in case Sophia finds her way back. Except Glenn, whom Dale orders to take Theodore to the farmhouse to see if they have any antibiotics — but then Daryl’s all, why didn’t you just say so, and pulls out a Ziploc bag containing “my brother’s stash”: crystal meth, ecstasy, pain killers … and antibiotics, because “Merle got the clap on occasion.” LOL. Thank you, Merle's STD. This is the third time tonight Daryl has LOLed me, and the second time he's saved Theodore's life. Daryl is officially not racist.


At the high school, Otis and Shane find zombs all frigging over the place. Eff! They throw some flares to distract them, and then dart into the FEMA trailer.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!!! Only one should have gone, then when ready signaled the other, who would then either a. throw more flares to re-distract the zombs or b. drive around in the truck honking the horn all noisy-like and lead the zombs away, allowing the one in the trailer to sneak out, then circle back around and pick him up. (Yes, I totally thought that scenario out. You are supposed to be learning from this show, not just watching it, people.) Not only do Otis and Shane both go, they also don’t have an escape plan. Other than: run. Needless to say, they are bumrushed by zombs. (Otis, I’m glad to see, moves way faster than he did earlier when running after Rick and Carl.) They (barely) manage to lock themselves in a storefront. With a horde of hungry zombs struggling to get in. The episode ends.

How in the HAIL are they going to get out of this?