How cool. The designers will be creating for an unsigned band a look to be worn for a Rolling Stones photo shoot. So basically, they’re helping to create the look that will introduce the band to the masses. Nice. The four guys (Guys? But that means menswear! Panic!) of the band Sheepdogs come in and play for everyone a song which I totally liked, and during which the delicate flower that is Olivier (LOVE) repeatedly cringed because the music is so loud. That must mean he hates concerts! Me too! High five. Team Harmony: Bert, Laura Kathleen, Anya, and Anthony Ryan. Team Untitled: Olivier (LOVE), Viktor, Kimberly, and Joshua. Tim instructs them that everyone must make an outfit for one guy in the band, but the looks don’t have to be cohesive. Which I’m glad to hear, cuz whenever this group has had to make a collection, it generally hasn't gone very well.
Ewan, the lead singer, says the band’s into “boots, jeans, denim, suede.” Sam, the drummer, asks for a caftain/dashiki sort of top. I love dashikis. Ryan, bass player, doesn’t make any specific requests — but he doesn’t have to, because his supremely bad ass boots ARE SPEAKING VOLUMES. I want to make out with him and play with his beautiful hair. Joshua: “The moment I saw these snakeskin cowboy boots, I was like, ‘I want that one!’” BACK OFF, BITCH. Leot, lead guitar, says he’s been looking for red bell bottom jeans or corduroy “forever.” I love corduroy. The Sheepdogs’ fashion sense and music rule.
Alas. This is when the episode takes a sad, sad turn for me, and I begin to stop loving Olivier. :(
Remember last week, when Olivier was all “I hate breasts,” and I was all, “THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD WORK IN MENSWEAR”? Um … that’s what he does. “I’m a menswear designer.” So, oops. (But still. It’s Project Runway, not Project Runway: Menswear. Get over it.) But just as I’m trying move past Boob Disgust, he starts in with Fat Hatred. “I think I’m sort of at a disadvantage because menswear is all about detail and fitting and proportion — and I got the biggest guy.” Olivier, please stop it. There are levels of fatness: 1. skinny, 2. a few pounds overweight, 3. fat, and 4. OH MY GOD YOU’RE A WHALE. Ewan’s a 2, not a 4. So knock it off.
Off to Mood! Where Viktor annoys me by getting blue denim because he can’t find the red denim Leot requested. Really, Viktor? It’s not blue denim that he’s been looking for “forever.” Laura Kathleen, also designing for Leot, makes the much smarter and also DUH-obvious move of buying denim and some red dye. Back in the workroom, Olivier is fret fret fretting about how Ewan is bigger than the mannequin. Ok, this is getting super old, super fast. Anya: “In real life, you’re gonna fit and have to make clothes for people who aren’t the same size as the mannequin. And this is just the reality” THANK YOU, ANYA.
During the consults, all the band members pretty much seemed to be mostly happy with what was being created for them except poor Ewan. Bert is making him women’s clothing in strange shades of purple. Lol. Olivier is using “a flowery pattern with swans on it.” Ewan hates both. Like, a lot.
Then Olivier is just FLAT OUT RUDE. :(
- Olivier: “Because he’s visually bigger on stage, so I don’t want to put a lot of things on him to make him ever bigger.”
- Ewan: “So you’re saying I’m a big man.”
- Olivier: “You’re big.”
Aawkward silence. Ewan just stares. Tim looks hella uncomfortable.
THEN IT CONTINUES. :(
- Tim: “Can you finish these up before the fitting?”
- Olivier: “That’s my concern, because Ewan is bigger than the mannequin.”
- Tim: “But this is an issue that every fashion designer faces. You need seam allowance. You have Ewan’s measurements.”
- Olivier: “I have all his measurements; it’s just sometimes it’s hard—” (Thankfully, Tim cuts him off before he can call Ewan fat again.)
- Tim: “But that shouldn’t make any difference. Just move forward.”
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. :(
- Olivier: “You don’t feel that passionate when you’re designing for something that you don’t really care for. I never really thought of making things for plus-sized people — you can say I’m ignorant — because I’m always used to dress model size.”
Yes, you are quite ignorant! And for the love of god, EWAN ISN’T EVEN FAT, YOU INCOMPREHENSIBLY INSENSITIVE, NORMAL-SIZED-PEOPLE-HATING LOUT! Olivier love officially revoked. He is now in the please-don’t-win category with Joshua and Laura Kathleen. Team Anya or Anthony Ryan!
Since Ewan didn’t like the purple, Bert is re-re-re-dying the fabric to make it the right color, "to make him feel comfortable.” But Olivier, of a completely different mindset, is all “I don’t know if he’s going to be happy, but he’ll look good.” *sigh* During the fittings, Olivier’s pants look like crap on Ewan. Olivier gets a stern talking-to from Tim. Joshua: “All Olivier’s been doing the whole challenge is complaining about how much bigger Ewan is and that the form doesn’t fit. But any good flat pattern maker would’ve been able to have something other than some sloppy pair of pants.” THANK YOU, JOSHUA.
Eeeeeeeeeeeee eee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Omg! Adam Lambert is the guest judge! Adam, you don’t understand how much I love your music!! “Sleepwalker” and “Aftermath” are amaaaaaaaaaaaazing! Come give me a hug! Dammit, HUG MEEEEEEE!
*calms down*
Team Harmony’s look is too literal and very expected. Their theme was “a modern Jimi Hendrix,” but Michael Kors says the looks lack Jimi’s swagger. Agree. Heidi and Adam like Laura Kathleen’s outfit. I love those red pants. Michel Kors and Nina hate the tie-dye shirt and jacket. Agree. Bert’s trippy-cool 70s look for Ewan is a hit. Anya’s pants for Sam are well made, but the shirt is aaaaawful, and the overall look is too Pocahontas and “reggae Jesus.” (Michael Kors’ zingers keep cracking Adam up. Adam’s laugh is so stupid cute that I hug my tv.) Anthony Ryan’s sleeveless shirt and sleek pants for Ryan is my fave look of the four, but the judges did not like it. I want to make out with Ryan and play with his beautiful hair.
Team Untitled also has hits and misses. Their theme was Western — which to me makes ZERO sense for a rock band, but whatevs. Olivier’s look for Ewan is, of course, terrible. It's “boring” and “boxy” and “almost too feminine” — AND OLIVIER EFFING CALLS EWAN FAT AGAIN. I actually yell, "Shut up!" Kudos to Ewan who, when asked how he felt about the clothes, started with "I appreciate all the work that went into this..." After being called fat 76 times and being forced to wear that hideousness, I certainly could not have been so diplomatic. Kimberly pulled an Anya and made for Sam awesome pants but a fugly shirt, which the judges detest. They have a collective happy-fit over the expertly tailored jacket and jeans Viktor made for Leot but do not like the shirt. Ryan likes the outfit Joshua made for him, from the wacky jacket and shirt to the white pants with their please-look-at-my-crotch zipper. I want to make out with Ryan and play with his beautiful hair.
Well, despite not making Leot red pants, Viktor wins. Leot wears the outfit for the photo shoot — everybody else changed clothes, lol — and yep, he looks good. And you know he totally kept those awesome red bell bottoms Laura Kathleen made for him and rocks them once a week. Kimberly and Olivier are in the bottom. Kimberly? She and Anya both made good pants but bad shirt, and while Kimberly’s shirt was pretty bad, Anya’s was aaaaawful. But it doesn’t matter; Olivier is the one sent home. YAY! The judges (rightfully) felt that a menswear designer should have done much better. And Olivier totally could have. But he refused. Because Ewan is “fat.” With fat-people hatred is that intense, I don’t understand why he didn’t ask someone on his team to switch band members with him.
I find it astonishing that just because he didn’t want to design for a “fat” person, Olivier simply gave up, made shitty clothes, got himself eliminated, and missed out on the chance win ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. Unbelievably prejudiced moron.
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