The Walking Dead: When the Dead Come Knocking, 11/25/2012

As tied-to-a-chair Maggie listens in the next room, Merle interrogates tied-to-a-chair Glenn, demands to know where “my little brother” and “the sheriff” are. Glenn refuses to talk. Merle leans in close and repeats his question; Glenn headbutts him. NICE! I mean, you know retribution will be terrible, but you still gloat. Then stop when Merle starts beating the shit out of him. :(

At the prison, Rick stares at Michonne, who stands amongst the zombies outside the fence, staring right back at him. Alas, her blood-and-guts perfume wars off, and the zombies attack. She hobbles back, draws her sword, slices and decapitates a few. Then, exhausted, shot, and bleeding, she passes out. The zombies close in—and Carl shoots them. He throws Rick the gate keys; Rick opens the gate; they run out firing. Rick gets Michonne; Carl gets the formula. Yay! Inside, Rick lays her down, gives her water, asks her name. She doesn’t say. Daryl says they need to come see something. Leaving Michonne locked safely outside the cells, Rick, Beth, Carl, and Hershel follow Daryl … to Carol. Awwwwwwwww. It’s a touching, tear-filled reunion. Dammit, I got a little choked up when Carol realized Lori didn’t make it, and Rick and Carl were crying. Beth hands Carol the baby. (Name her already!) Michonne watches the whole thing. She shows no emotion, of course, but you can totally tell she’s getting good-people vibes, not bad-people vibes like with Guv.

It’s a beautiful day in Woodbury. And I’m getting tired of typing that sentence. Milton knocks on Guv’s door to tell him Mr. Coleman is ready. Andrea is getting dressed. (Where’d she find that cute matching bra and panty set? Oh who am I kidding. If they can run the generators to serve cold drinks on Zombie Fight Day, they can provide Guv’s squeeze with sexy undies.) Guv asks Andrea to help Milton with something. Cut to: Glenn, whose face is baaaaadly beaten. :( I WANT YOU TO DIE, MERLE. Glenn will tell Merle only that the group has been on the road. And that Rick is coming for him and Maggie. You’re damn right, Glenn. And when he does, Woodbury is going to fall harder than Hershel’s farm.

At the prison, Rick tells Michonne they’ll tend to her wound, give her some food and water and send her on her way, but first she’s gotta tell them how she found them, why she showed up with formula. (He calls her “sweetie.” Surprised she didn’t punch him in the face.) She says “a young Asian guy” dropped the formula when he and the girl he was with were taken away by the guy who shot her. I am racking my brain trying to remember if at any point Michonne learned Merle’s name. If she’d just say “His name was Merle and he’s got one hand,” Rick et al. would know who they’re dealing with. Unfortch, she doesn’t want to give any more deets. Rick grabs her bullet wound to make her talk. Shit gets testy, but everyone calms down. Michonne tells them about Woodbury and Guv, whom she refers to as a “Jim Jones type.” HA! Exactly. Hershel sews up her leg. Rick et al. have a conference; it's decided that Rick, Oscar, Daryl, and Michonne are going after Glenn and Maggie. Beth and Axel help Oscar, Michonne, and Daryl load up the car. Michonne asks Beth, wasn’t the prison overrun? Beth says yep, but they cleared it. Michonne shows no emotion, of course, but you can totally tell she’s impressed. Rick and Carl have a heart-to-heart. Rick thanks Carl for what he did with Lori, says he (Rick) knows that wasn’t easy, apologizes for being temporarily out of it. He tells Carl to take care of his sister. Carl says Daryl’s been calling her Ass Kicker; he (Carl) wants to name her Judith, after his third grade teacher. Ugh. I hate that name, but at least the finally baby has one, and she wasn’t named after anybody who was killed. Judith it is.

Andrea and Milton sit with a Mr. Coleman, a very old man who’s about to die of advanced cancer. Milton's been showing Coleman family pictures, asking him a series of raise-your-hand-if-yes questions, playing a certain song over and over. The point of which is to see, once Coleman becomes a zombie, if he’ll retain any memories. I yell, “No!” Then I scream “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” when Merle releases a zombie into the interrgation room with tied-to-a-chair Glenn. Swear to God, I’m this close a heart attack as I watch Glenn desperately kick and push and knock over furniture and fight as best he can. Finally, he frees his arms by slamming back into a wall until the chair falls apart, then ramming a splintered chair arm through the zombie’s skull. Whew. *deep breaths*  My. Heart. Is. Pounding. I WANT YOU TO DIE, MERLE. Cut to: Coleman kicks the bucket; Andrea and Milton strap him to the bed. Outside, Merle reports to Guv that Glenn won’t break. Guv asks if the girl is talking. Merle says he was just about to start questioning her; Guv says he’ll do it. Altogether now: “Uh oh.” He enters. Takes out a knife. Cuts Maggie's hands free. Asks her where her people are. She refuses to say. He tells her to stand up. To take off her shirt. She refuses. He says do it or he’ll bring her Glenn’s hand. She takes off her shirt. He makes her take off her bra; she crosses her arms over her breasts. He stands, approaches with his knife, bends her over the table. Asks her if she’s going to talk. She says, “Do whatever you’re gonna do, and go to hell.” He backs off. Whew!!! Still, though, I WANT YOU TO DIE, GUV.

Rick, Michonne, Oscar, and Daryl park the car, get out. Michonne tells them they're maybe a mile or two away; they should walk from here cuz Guv has armed patrols in the area. As they trek through the woods, Rick thanks Daryl for helping with Carl and Judith while he (Rick) was temporarily out of it. Daryl says simply, “It’s what we do.” They come across a horde of zombies in the woods, too many to fight, and take off running. They hide inside a run-down old shack, upsetting the crazy hermit inside, who tries to go running outside and let the zombies in. Michonne swords him before he can get them all killed. Rick and Daryl throw his body out front; everyone sneaks out the back as the hermit is eaten, and eaten grotesquely.

Cut to: dead Coleman becomes Zombie Coleman. Andrea starts the music. Milton begins asking the raise-your-hand-if-yes questions. Coleman just tries to bite him, struggling against the restraints. Milton thinks Coleman tried to respond, wants to remove the restraints. Andrea says no. Milton does it anyway. Coleman goes for Milton’s throat—and Andrea drives a knife through his skull, killing him. A shaken Milton says he wants to record his findings while they’re still fresh. What effing findings, you bloody numbskull? In the interrogation room, Guv, Merle, and Henchman bring in topless, arms-over-boobs Maggie. Guv pulls out a gun and starts to shoot Glenn; Maggie spills the beans. Says there are ten people in their group, and they cleared out the prison and are staying there. Back in his office with Milton, Merle, and Henchman, Guv is furious. Wants to know how such a small number of people could take the prison, deep in the red (i.e., zombie-filled) zone, when Merle had assured Guv it couldn’t be done. (Oh, just wait til you find out he lied about killing Michone!) Guv asks Merle where his loyalties lie. “Here,” Merle assures him (… but I don’t believe that. I don’t think Merle would choose Guv over Daryl. Or maybe I’m wrong, and he will, forcing Daryl to kill him. YAY!) Guv instructs Milton and Henchman to take a small group and scout the prison.

Outside, Daryl, Rick, Oscar, and Michonne scout the walls. I’m pretty sure that Woodbury has seen its last beautiful day.

The Walking Dead: Hounded, 11/18/2012

Merle and three more of Guv’s crew creep through the woods, stumble upon carefully arranged pieces of cut-up corpse. Merle says Guv was right to send them after Michonne. Whoa! To kill her? Guv, you jerk. One of the guys, Neal, realizes that the pieces spell “Go back.” Merle just laughs. Then stops laughing when Michonne leaps out, swords two dudes two death, uses one as a human shield to block Merle’s bullets, then runs off. Michonne = BAD ASS. One of the shots grazes her thigh. Merle chases her for a bit, loses her. He hurries back to Neal, who’s freaking out, and pep talks him into resuming the chase.

In the boiler room, Rick chats on the phone with a female. She can’t believe someone picked up, she can’t tell him where her group is, they’re somewhere safe, away from the zombies. Personally I’d’ve been like, “What exactly was the point of this call???” and hung up in her face, but Rick asks if she’d be willing to take in more people. She says she’ll call back in two hours. Rick gets cleaned up and rejoins the group. Doesn’t tell them about the phone call, says he killed all the zombies in the boiler room area. Daryl tells him they’re cleaning out the generator room area later. Glenn tells him he (Glenn) and Maggie are making a run later for ammo and formula. Rick says he’s busy cleaning out bodies, then hurries off. I notice that, though he mentioned his newborn daughter when pleading with Telephone Lady, he does not ask to see her.

It is, as always, a beautiful day in Woodbury. Andrea tells Guv she didn’t enjoy the fighting-for-entertainment, but she likes it here and wants to stay, and to contribute. He starts to suggest a position in food distribution (Sexist much?), but Andrea interrupts him and says she’s a good shot and wants to help defend the place. 

In the boiler room, Rick waits impatiently. The phone rings. It’s a guy this time. He wants to know how many people has Rick killed? Who where they? How’d Rick lose wife? Rick refuses to answer the last question, and Telephone Guy hangs up. “NO!” Rick screams in fury.

Atop the Woodbury wall, Andrea talks killing zombied family members with Bow and Arrow Girl. A zombie approaches. BAG shoots twice, but the zombie is lurching and pitching; she misses. Andrea jumps down, rushes over, knocks him to the ground, stabs him through the skull. BAG is pissed.

Hershel crutches into the boiler room to talk to Rick. He tells Rick that Lori told him (Hershel) she was sorry for how bad things got, that Rick did everything he could to keep the group safe, that he got them to the prison. Rick says the prison’s not safe enough. Hershel says there isn’t anywhere else to go. Rick says he got a phone call from a woman who said she was with a group in a safe place. Hershel picks up the phone and listens. I was sure he’d say, “Rick. There’s no dial tone,” and we’d realize that the calls aren't real. But Hershel just asks if the lady said where she was, so I guess they are? Rick says wherever they are, he’ll find a way to get them there. But don’t tell the others yet. Hershel offers to sit with Rick; Rick declines, wants to be alone. In the generator room area, Oscar, Daryl, and Carl prowl around, hunting zombies. Daryl tells Carl about when he (Daryl) was kid and lost his mother in a fire, how much it hurt when she was just suddenly gone. Carl tells him about how he (Carl) had to shoot Lori in the head. “I’m sorry about your mom,” Carl says. “I’m sorry about yours,” Daryl replies. Awwwww. Male bonding with a substitute father figure.

Guv sits writing at his desk. Andrea enters, says, she knows she wasn’t supposed to go over the wall, but she just wanted some practice. Guv says fair enough, but she won’t be working the wall. Andrea accepts this, then admits that she liked the fights. Guv says he figured as much because she stayed and watched them … and he suspects she likes him, too. Andrea smiles. (Oh, gag me. Look, I get that Andrea was not only physically very sick but also mentally and emotionally exhausted after eight or so months out there in the zombie apocalypse, but dammit, she’s too willing to accept the Woodbury mirage of perfection, ignoring zombies kept in cages for fights and the fact that Michonne had a bad feeling about the place. Hope she doesn’t come to her senses too late.)

Neal and Merle run through the woods. Michonne attacks, but the fight is interrupted by zombies. Michonne slices one’s stomach open; his bloody guts spill all over her. She kills him and runs off. Neal kills another that’s trying to eat Merle, who kills the last one. Merle says they can stop hunting Michonne; she’s off in the head, wounded, and headed for the red zone. She’s as good as dead, so they can tell Guv they killed her. Neal says he’s going to keep looking, and he won’t lie to Guv. So Merle shoots him in the face. Elsewhere, a limping Michonne draws her sword as zombies approach … and is astounded when they walk right past her. She looks down, realizes she’s covered in zombie blood and guts, and the stench is masking her.  

In his garden, Guv and Andrea sit chatting and sipping whiskey. *eye roll* They kiss. Gross. In the boiler room, the phone rings. The woman addresses Rick by name, tells him to tell the man about Lori. “How do you know my name?” Rick asks. She hangs up. Ok, WTF. Hallucinations or not?????????

In a parking lot, limping Michonne ducks down as she hears a car approach. It’s Maggie and Glenn, out looking for supplies. They kiss. Awww. Their search of a store is fruitful; they find food and formula, discuss the quickest route back to the prison. They’re about to load the truck up with when Merle pops out, gun drawn. They draw their weapons. Glenn recognizes him. “Merle?!” he asks, astounded. Merle recognizes him, laughs, puts his gun down. Asks if Daryl’s alive; Glenn says yes. Merle says if they’ll take him to Daryl, he’ll forget and forgive the past. Glenn says no, wait here; they’ll go get Daryl. Merle draws his other gun, grabs Maggie, puts it to her head, forces Glenn to get in the car and drive them back to Woodbury. Damn that bullet wound! I’ve been wanting Merle dead for three seasons now. Had Michonne not been injured, she could’ve sneaked up behind Merle and made my dreams come true.

Oscar, Daryl, and Carl kill a zombie. Daryl recognizes that the knife sticking out of its throat is Carol’s.

The phone rings. Ok, I was right. RICK IS CRAZY. The woman on the phone is ... Lori. (So Hershel didn’t hear a dial tone. Guess he realized what was going on, and decided to just let the grief-induced crazy run its course.) Rick tells Not-Real Lori he’s sorry he couldn’t keep her safe, that he thought there would be time later to try to patch things up. Not-Real Lori tells him to take care of Carl and the baby. Cut to: Guv and Andrea getting it on. *eye roll* Merle knocks. Guv dons a robe, steps into the hall. Merle reports that Michonne and zombies killed the three guys he was with, and he couldn’t bring back her head and sword because zombies attacked, but he brought back two hostages, people from that Atlanta group. Guv asks if they know Andrea; Merle says yes. 

Rick joins Carl, Beth, and Hershel, who’s holding the baby. Rick takes her, holds her, cries. Let us hope this symbolizes an acknowledgment of responsibility and return to sanity. Elsewhere, DARYL FINDS CAROL! DARYL FINDS CAROL!!!!!!!!!!!! In the prison yard, Carl, Beth, Hershel, and Rick, whose holding the baby (Name her already!), go for a stroll. Rick sees something, hands the baby to Carl, draws his gun, goes for a closer look. It’s blood-and-guts-covered Michonne, standing amongst the zombies outside the fence, holding the left-behind food and formula. Yay!

The Walking Dead: Say the Word, 11/11/2012

It’s yet another a charming, peaceful day in Woodbury. (You get the distinct feeling that when things finally go all to hell here, these blissful, sheltered people are going to have ZERO idea how to fend for themselves.) Milt brings Andrea a cold drink, complains that the generators are being used to run the freezers. They chat about the upcoming party tonight. Michonne, who is not—ever?—in a festive mood, prowls not far off, watching Andrea. Cut to: Guv brushing a dog’s hair. Wait. Holy hell that’s not a dog; it’s little girl. A little zombie girl. As he brushes, a patch of her rotting scalp is ripped off. She goes berserk and tries to bite him. He puts her in a straightjacket, drops a sack over her head, and holds and kisses her, cooing, “Daddy still loves you.” Oh dear god. This is a thousand times worse than finding out Hershel had zombies in the barn. At least they were in the barn. Not in his bedroom being groomed, kissed, and sweet talked. I shudder to think what Guv’s feeding Corpse Daughter. As he struggles with her, he looks out to see Michonne staring up at his window. He glares at her.

In the prison yard, Hershel says the baby looks healthy but needs formula. Daryl, Maggie, Glenn volunteer to go. Daryl pulls Beth to the side and asks her to keep an eye on Carl, cuz his mother just died and his father … poor Rick is zoned completely the eff out. Maggie says there’s too much debris in the road; the vehicles can’t make it. They have to take Daryl’s bike, which has room for only one passenger. Maggie tells Glenn she has to go. For Lori. They kiss; she and Daryl head out. Oscar shuts the gate behind them. Suddenly, Rick grabs an axe, heads inside, and goes tear-assing through the zombie-filled halls, killing and killing and killing and killing. #stressreliever

 

As Guv gives a speech to his adoring citizens, Michonne sneaks into his place to retrieve her sword. She finds a notebook filled with names and pages of scribble, then hears bumping coming from behind the wall. She’s trying to pry open a secret door when she hears voices approaching, and manages to hide in the nick of time. Guv, Merle, and Milt enter. Milt’s complaining that wasting the generators on the party is draining juice he needs for an experiment. Guv tells him to start it over in the morning post-party. They leave. Michonne’s gone, having sneaked out a back window, into a closed-off area containing eight or so caged zombies. She smiles an I-KNEW-he-was-crazy/I’m-SO-going-to-enjoy-this smile, then calmly opens the cage, draws her sword, and slaughters the zombies. She’s still smiling when she’s discovered. Allow me to neatly sum up the next scene. Michonne sits in an interrogation room. Guv enters with her sword, prattles on and on, asks her again to join his team—and Michonne snatches up her sword, unsheaths it, and is holding it to his throat faster than you can say “politicians suck.” Then she just leaves. Merle enters, asks if there’s a problem. Guv says nope. Round up the boys and go get some more zombies, and also, send Andrea to him.

Glenn is outside digging graves. Axle and Oscar approach, offer to help. (Time out. WHY THE HELL DON’T THEY CHANGE CLOTHES??? Those prison jumpsuits are driving me up the damn wall! Find a zombie your size, wash his clothes, then change! For the love of god, change clothes!!! Time back in.) Glenn lets them so he can go talk to Hershel, who asks him to go get Rick. They chat for a bit. Glenn’s down in the dumps about having lost three people. (Dammit, Carol, where the hell are you?) He shares some fond T Dog memories; Hershel reminds him that T saved Maggie by getting that gate closed. Glenn admits that he kinda wishes they’d just shot all the prisoners on sight. Hershel reminds him that Axle and Oscar seem ok. Glenn says yeah, but he’d trade any number of lives for the life of just one person from their group. Hershel grasps his hand for a sec; then Glenn goes to look for Rick. I like this father-in-law/son-in-law kind of bonding. I also like Hershel’s ponytail. It makes him look distinguished. Glenn finds a severely crazy-eyed Rick at the end of a trail of zombie corpses, just standing there, staring at a wall. Glen tries to get Rick to come back with him, but Rick slams him into a wall, shoves him aside, then wanders deeper into the prison. Glenn, wisely, leaves him be.

Andrea arrives. Guv asks her to help him with Michonne, She stole her sword, Guv says. Can’t steal something that belongs to you, Andrea says. And she broke into a private area and killed zombie captives, Guv said. Andrea (who’s probably thinking, “Not this again.”), asks why he’s keeping zombies. He’ll only say there’s a good reason but he can’t get into it right now. At which point I would have found Michonne and hit the highway, but Andrea finds Michonne and tries to convince her to stay. *sigh* Elsewhere, Merle, Mitch, and crew check one of their zombie traps, find it full. Merle kills some; Mitch tests out a jacket with arms that are zombie-bite-proof. By which I mean wrapped in duct tape. Back at Woodbury, Michonne and Andrea have it out at the gate. Michonne wants to leave, Andrea wants to stay. Michonne leaves. :( Guv, reminding females watching this show of every opportunistic creep who’s ever hit on them knowing they were vulnerable, finds Andrea sitting alone, offers her a drink and some company.

Maggie and Daryl come across a daycare, break in, find diapers, bottles … and formula. YAY! Night has fallen by the time they make it back to the prison. They rush in, Beth and Maggie mix up and bottle some formula, and wonder of wonders, it’s Daryl who feeds Baby, rocks her, and sweet talks her. He asks Carl if she has a name yet. Carl rattles off a list of every dead female who’s ever been a part of the group. WTF? NO, CARL. Daryl calls Baby “Little Asskicker.” Ha! I like it. L.A. Rick, please come back, if only so you can save L.A. from Carl naming her. Alas, Rick’s currently too busy wandering around. He finds the boiler room, the puddle of blood, the knife, the bullet … and then a trail of blood and zombie with a distended belly, so full it can barely move. He blows its brains out and stabs it repeatedly.

Guv and Andrea walk arm-in-arm (*gag*) to an arena area, where all the citizens have gathered to with the evening’s entertainment: Merle and his friends beating the shit out of each other, surrounded by zombies on chains, which are let closer and closer. The crowd is going wild. I’m immediately hugely annoyed by the fact that this is what Woodburyians consider fun. Really, guys? We can’t form book clubs, Frisbee leagues, archery teams? ANYTHING else? Andrea’s annoyed too, but for a different reason. “You’re teaching them that walkers aren’t dangerous,” she hisses at Guv. “We’re teaching them not to be afraid,” he differs. And anyway, the whole thing’s staged, and the zombies are closely controlled. So it’s ok. Andrea looks very much not ok.

 

Sunrise. Outside, Daryl puts flowers on Carol’s grave. (What did they bury? Her head scarf?) In the boiler room, still crazy-eyed Rick just sits motionless on the floor. Then he hears the phone ringing. (Grief-induced hallucination?) He lurches to his feet and shambles over to it. “Hello?”

The Walking Dead: Killer Within, 11/4/12

An unidentified someone, likely that person who watched Carol practice C-section-ing on a zombie carcass, opens gates and leaves delicious dead deer parts lying around to attract zombies into the upper prison yard. As we see a hand place the deer heart on the ground, I notice it’s a black guy. Hmmm … I’m still clueless about who it is.

Theodore, Rick, Carol, Daryl, Glenn, and Maggie get started moving cars inside the outer gate and piling up zombie carcasses to be burned. Well, Glenn and Maggie join the others after being called down from the guard tower, pulling on clothes, as the others laugh. (Maggie BETTER NOT get preggo. One zombie apocalypse baby is all I can stand.) Those two prisoners, Wyatt Earp and LL Cool J, I mean Axle and Oscar, approach, make an impassioned plea to Rick to let them join the group. They can’t stand living in that blood-smeared cell block full of the ghosts of their murdered friends. The group discusses it. Only Theodore is Team Let Them In. Rick says either they stay in their cellblock, or they leave.

It’s a beautiful day in Woodbury. Folks casually stroll the streets. Michonne prowls around, examining the military vehicles driven back after Governor n Gang executed those hapless soldiers. She finds blood on a gun deck, jumps down, bumps into the Governor, who’s heard she and Andrea are leaving today and tries to convince her to stay. She doesn’t even try to pretend she believes his bullshit story, and questions why not one soldier managed to drive away, and points out the bullet holes in the vehicles. Guv says the soldiers were heroes who wouldn’t leave a man behind, and suggests the soldiers must’ve run into armed bandits at some point. She asks about Wells, the soldier pilot dude (whose head is among Guv’s macabre Heads in Fish Tank collection); Guv says the doc couldn’t revive him, Merle killed him, he was cremated with no funeral; that was easiest since no one knew him, thank God. Michonne stalks off after repeating “Thank God” in a tone that clearly says, “You. Are. Lying.”

Back at the prison, they’re about to move the cars inside the inner gate. Rick assures Theodore that Axle and Oscar will be given a week’s worth of food before being sent away. Daryl cranks up his bike; Axle says it sounds like it needs some work, and he (Axle) knows his bikes. Daryl drives off; Oscar tells Axle to quit trying. (But heck, I’d be doing that, too. Maybe if the group realizes you’re useful; they’d let you stay.) Inside, Beth (who gives Carl a big smile) and Lori enter Hershel’s cell with crutches for him to try out. He teeters and totters a bit, then gets the hang of it and suggests going for a stroll. Heh.

Andrea and Michonne sit on a bed looking at maps. Michonne’s discussing heading for the coast, Andrea says what if it’s not safe, Michonne says she’d rather take her chances than stay in Woodbury. Her gut tells her there’s something off about Guv.

Glenn gives Axle and Oscar food, says they’ll be released when he, Rick, and Daryl get back. The three of them head outside the gates to get firewood to burn the bodies. (“I don’t want to be planting crops in walker-rotted soil,” Rick says. Good call.) Glenn sees a walker in the distance and wants to shoot it, Rick says no; the armory was picked clean so they can’t spare the ammo. Carol, Daryl, and Theodore drive their vehicles inside just as Lori, Hershel, Beth and Carl make their way outside. Glenn, Rick, and Daryl come back through the fence opening with armloads of firewood just in time to see Hershel up and around. There’s a really chill, peaceful moment; Rick even smiles at Lori. YAY! But then, zombies come swarming in from the upper yard. Aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! “NO!” Rick yells. He, Glenn, and Daryl take off running, leaving the fence opening open. But, thank baby Jesus, Glenn remembers and goes back to close it. Lori, Maggie, Carol, and Carl open fire. Beth and Hershel make it to an observation deck and lock themselves in. On the way, Hershel takes out a zombie with his crutch. Nice! Glenn finishes with the fence, takes off after Daryl and Rick, throws them the keys to unlock the outer gate. Lori, Carl, and Maggie make it to their cell block, find zombies everywhere. They head inside the prison. Glenn, Daryl, and Rick enter Axle and Oscar’s gate. In the yard, as Theodore and Carol shoot their way through the zombie-filled yard; he notices the open inner gate. He gets it closed and locked—then a zombie bites him on the shoulder. :(  He and Carol hurry inside.

Good timing with the commercial break, cuz my heart’s about to pound out of my chest.

Andrea gives Meryl a map, tells him she circled where he can find the farm where she stayed with Daryl. He asks if she wants to come with him to see if the others might be there; she just looks irritated; he deduces she’s a wee bit mad at Rick et al. She asks if he’s ever wanted to leave Woodbury, if Guv’s a good guy. He says nope, and yep.

Glenn and his gun and machete, Daryl and his knife and crossbow, and Rick and his gun finally make it into the zombie-filled yard, take out zombies, ask Hershel and Beth where the others went, tell them to stay put. Glenn says somebody had to have cut the chains off the inner gate. Just then, the alarm starts blaring, bringing even more zombies from the surrounding woods. Rick and Glenn shoot out loudspeakers, but it continues. Rick rushes over to Axle and Oscar, gun out, demanding to know wtf is up with the alarm. Oscar, who worked with it for a few days, explains that it has to be the back-up generator, cuz the guards shut the alarm off when the prison was overrun. The five of them head inside. Elsewhere, a bleeding, stumbling Theodore is explaining to Carol how to get back to their cell block, says whatever happens to him is God’s plan. She refuses to leave him. In another part of the prison, Lori, Maggie, and Carl are wandering around and OF COURSE, Lori starts having birthin’ pains, announces the baby’s coming. (I repeat: Maggie better not get preggo. And Carl and Beth, stop smiling at each other.) A horde approaches. They turn back. A second horde. They go into a boiler room. The door won’t close completely, but thankfully, the zombies shuffle past it. Lori grits her teeth against the birthin’ pains.

As Guv hits golf balls atop the Woobdury wall, Merle approaches, asks if he can take a couple guys and go to the farm to look for Daryl. Guv says someone might get hurt, and Andrea last saw Daryl eight months ago. Merle says ok, he’ll go alone. Guv says Merle’s needed at Woodbury. Merle says, “It’s my brother.” Guv says if Merle gets more concrete evidence that Daryl’s alive, he'll go with Merle himself. I’m wondering just how the hell Merle’s supposed to do that, but he agrees.

Glenn, Daryl, Rick, Axle, and Oscar check the cell block, find only zombies. They split up to go look for Lori et al. and to shut off the alarm. In the boiler room, Maggie helps Lori lie on the floor, tells Carl he’s going to have to help deliver his little brother or sister. He nods, looking like he’d rather go play with the zombies. Maggie strips off Lori’s pants, checks to see if she’s dilated. Hershel’d explained a few things to Maggie, but she’s never actually done this before; she can’t tell if Lori’s dilated. Lori’s like, screw this; I gotta push. She stands and starts pushing. I’m freaking out cuz I thought Lori had to deliver via C-sec? If she delivers via vagina, will it kill her? (Omg, I so want the unidentified asshole who let the zombies in to die terribly. VERY. Terribly.) Maggie says stop, don’t push! Suddenly, there's blood everywhere. Elsewhere, a bleeding, stumbling Theodore and Carol are almost back to the cell block; two zombies approach. Carol fires, but she’s out of bullets. Theodore tackles the zombies and holds them at bay long enough for Carol to make it. His throat is bitten out. Omg. *moment of silence* RIP, T Dog. :(

 

Oscar, you have very big only-black-guy-on-the-show shoes to fill.

At Woodbury, Guv and Andrea share a farewell drink. He tells her Merle will escort her and Michonne out and give them their weapons, and that his name is Phillip. They make googly eyes at each other. *eye roll* Andrea goes back to Michonne and announces that she (Andrea) wants to stay a couple more days. *eye roll* A pissed-off Michonne stalks off. Right there with you, Michonne. (I'm so wondering, will they leave? Or will something catastrophic happen and Woodbury gets overrun? The latter seems unlikely because, unlike Hershel's farm, the place is protected by high walls and armed guards, but still. You never know.)

Daryl, Rick, and Oscar, zombies in hot pursuit, make it to the generator room. Daryl holds the door closed while Rick and Oscar try to shut off the alarm—and then that prisoner, the little black one that Rick locked outside in the zombie-filled yard then left to die, jumps out. OMG, him??? I thought he was zombie food! He swings an axe, knocking Oscar down, then tries to bury it in Rick’s skull. They fight. Rick drops his gun. Oscar picks it up, points it at both of them. Little One encourages him to shoot Rick so the two of them can take back the prison. Oscar, who probably 1. knows he’s way better off with Rick’s group than with Little One and 2. is mad about getting bashed in the head with an axe, blows Little One’s brains out. I CHEER. Then he calmly hands Rick the gun. Rick nods his thanks, shuts off the alarm. In the boiler room, Maggie lays Lori on the floor, says they have to get back to Hershel. Lori says she won’t make it, use Carl’s knife to cut the baby out. Maggie says no. Lori pleads, says this is what she wants. She and Carl say an emotional goodbye. Maggie cuts the baby out, gets it breathing. Lori dies. Omg. *moment of silence* RIP, Lori. :( Maggie says they need to shoot Lori; Carl says he’ll do it. He does it. :(

Daryl, Rick, and Oscar bump into Glenn and Axle. They find the zombies eating Theodore’s body, kill them, find Carol’s head scarf. Outside, they announce to Hershel and Beth that Theodore and Carol are dead, ask about the others. Hershel and Beth haven’t seen them. Carl and Maggie, holding the baby, approach just then. Rick realizes Lori’s dead and collapses to the ground, weeping.

 

(Dammit. Where the hell is Carol.)