I know we were all wondering what Doc et al. feed their barn zombs. This episode answered that question forthwith. Otis’s wife hobbles several live chickens, puts them in a sack, and then tosses them down to be devoured (… um, which is kind of exactly the same thing that happened to Otis). Cruel, yes, but I was EXTREMELY relieved to find out they weren’t feeding the barn zombs people.
Maggie begs Glenn to keep the barn zombs a secret. He tells he’s super bad at lying. Andrea begs Darryl to forgive her shooting him. He tells her next time, she best pray he’s dead. HE’S KIDDING, ANDREA. Glenn whisper-yells at Lori for not having told Rick yet that she’s pregnant because she’s too skinny and she now has a medical condition and she needs a nice pillow. (LOL.) Funny how the worst liar in the bunch has somehow become the keeper of the secrets: Lori’s preggo, he and Maggie are sexing, and there are barn zombs.
During that morning’s planning sesh for The Endless Search for Sophia (TESFS), a couple of Otis’s peeps ask if they can participate in gun training. They say Doc’s ok with it, but Rick (wisely) says he’ll need to hear directly from Doc first. Then Carl (Yay, he’s up and around!) says he wants to learn to shoot, too. Lori and Rick have a parental spat during which I am totally Team Rick cuz Lori’s all he’s too young and Rick’s all he needs to learn to defend himself. Lori finally relents, thank god.
Glenn can’t stand it anymore — seriously, he looks like his head’s about to explode. Since Dale’s old and he knows things (LOL.), Glenn spills the pregnancy-barn zomb beans to him. It’s Dale’s turn to look like HIS head’s about to explode. During shooting practice*, Theodore makes me almost cry laughing when he tells young Jimmy, who’s trying to shoot holding his gun sideways, “Don’t give me that gangsta shit.” Ha ha ha ha! Jimmy holds the gun properly and hits the target. But he’s got nothing on Andrea, who has channeled her inner GI Jane and is hitting targets left and right. Well — the non-moving ones. She can’t hit a swinging tree branch to save her life, and when Shane rides her too hard about it; she storms off down the road in a huff. He follows in the car and calms her down. He apologizes, and they go off TESFSing.
The horse that almost got Darryl killed (I hate you, horse.) found her way home; Doc is in the stable brushing her when Dale approaches. He pretends that he heard the zombs whilst on a walk, asks why Doc’s keeping them alive. They’re dangerous! Doc says paranoid schizophrenics are dangerous too, but we don’t kill them. I want to leap through my tv screen and face punch him twice for that asinine comparison. “My wife and stepson are in that barn,” Doc says, at which point we realize there will be no reasoning with him. (For the record, during the zombie apocalypse, I’m killing anyone who gets bitten. Friend, significant other, family member, I don’t care. We’ll say our goodbyes; then I’m putting a bullet in your head. And then I’ll cry for three straight months afterward, because I’m a bit of a bitch.)
Later, Lori later thanks Doc again for saving Carl; he none-too-indirectly makes it clear during the conversation that he’s quite ready for her group to go. Shocked to hear this, she runs to Rick — and has the audacity to get mad cuz he knew and didn’t tell her. I guess she forgot that she hasn’t told him she used to bang Shane and that she’s knocked up. Speaking of which, Dale broaches the subject. Lori: “Glenn told you.” Dale: “What do you expect? The boy has no guile.” (LOL.) Oh, and Dale knows about the past fling with Shane, too. (Time out: Glenn and Dale are my favorite characters. Time back in.) Lori says the baby’s definitely Rick’s (If you say so, Lori.), but she’s afraid to tell Rick cuz she doesn’t even know if she wants it cuz what kind of a life could it have?
Glenn and Maggie head to the pharmacy to get some stuff for Lori. Maggie is in quite a mood. She’s mad that Glenn told Dale (Huh? How’d that get back to Glenn? I thought Dale’s lie was pretty convincing.)
She’s mad that Glenn calls the barn zombs Walkers, cuz to her they’re Mom, Shawn, etc. And she’s mad they’re going back to the pharmacy not for necessary supplies but just for some stuff Lori wants. So then of course it doesn’t improve her mood at all when there’s a ZOMB ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Glenn saves her bacon, grabbing a shelf (Take note: ANYTHING can be a weapon.) and knocking its head almost clean off. By the time they get back to the farm, Maggie is spitting nails. She hurls the stuff they got, including some baby-be-gone pills, onto the ground at Lori’s feet, and yells at her to run her own errands from now on. Not that I’m a Lori cheerleader or anything, but she didn’t ask Glenn to go; he volunteered. Also, Glenn didn’t ask Maggie to go with him; SHE volunteered. Also, people have roles, dammit. Shane and Rick: protectors. Dale: wise old owl. Glenn: the go-getter. And he’s good at it. I mean, who the hell else are you going to send on supply runs? Carol???????????????????
Anyhoo, in a repeat of Andrea-Shane earlier, Maggie storms off in a huff; Glenn follows and tries to calm her down. She plants one on him (Nice.), tells him that he’s nothing more to his friends than Walker bait, then re-storms off. Uh oh. So, when the time comes for Rick et al. to leave the farm, is Glenn going to choose to stay behind? Nooooooo. I swear to god, I’ll stop watching.
Off TESFSing, Andrea and Shane are searching an abandoned neighborhood when suddenly there are zombs all over the place. Shane decides this is a teachable moment and instructs Andrea to try shooting* them. At first she panics, but then she starts picking them off right and left. You go, girl! On the ride back to the farm, the self-satisfied smile on Andrea’s face is priceless. Clearly, killing zombs makes her very happy. Oh — and it apparently makes her very horny, too. She grabs Shane’s crotch and gives him The Look. Shane, who does not need to be asked twice, slams on the brakes so they can get busy. For my peace of mind, I’m going to pretend/assume that Andrea thought to grab her birth control pills as she was packing to leave home.
In her tent, Lori takes a bunch of baby-be-gone pills, then changes her mind and runs into the woods to throw them up. Shane and Andrea return, tell Carol news she is by now used to hearing: no sign of Sophia. They also, through their matching goofy grins, unintentionally tell Dale — Nothing gets by that guy! — that they totally got it on. Dale confronts Shane, tells him he (Dale) has his suspicions about how Otis really died. High five, Dale! Shane coolly responds that if he (Shane) is such a bad guy, then it’s probably not smart to threaten him.
If Shane hurts Dale, I’ll kill him myself.
And now, at last, the too-long-delayed Revealing Of The Pregnancy. Rick enters the tent, finds empty baby-be-gone pill packets, confronts Lori. He’s pissed she didn’t tell him and that she even thought about killing their baby.
She says she doesn’t want to have a baby under these conditions, especially since Doc is making them leave. Rick says not even giving the baby a chance isn’t fair and says they can figure it out — but they can’t have any more secrets, and is there anything else he should know? She admits to the Shane thing, and … yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Rick reacts exactly as he should. He forgives her. “You thought I was dead,” he says simply. (Awwwww. He loves her so much.) And the episode ends. Good, cuz after the last two or three edge-of-your seat omg-inducing cliffhanger endings, my heart needed a break.*Where did all this ammo suddenly come from? In the premiere, they hid under cars rather than shoot the zombie herd. When Otis died, he and Shane were down to their last bullet each. But now all of a sudden, there’s so much extra ammo everyone can have multiple target practice sessions?
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