Hour One
Blind taste test! I was consumed with jealousy. Come feed ME, Gordon. Jennifer: “Chef Ramsay put nuts in my mouth!” LOL. Boy was I amazed how wrong some of those guesses were … almost as annoyed as I was watching Bitchy Elise’s smug, superior reactions to the incorrect answers. Yes, Tommy’s grape jokes were annoying (and yet hilarious), but I’ll take the blue team’s teasing over Bitch Elise and Ditzy Carrie’s non-stop bickering.
Dinner
Ohhhhh, ok. The reason Bitchy Elise cannot properly write down an order is that she’s a chef, not a waitress. Interesting. I wasn’t aware that chefs are entirely incapable of properly writing things down. Thanks, Bitchy Elise, for enlightening us. And yeah, if you can’t properly handle writing things down, Gordon should totally trust you running a kitchen. *eye roll* Wow, Tommy and Natalie are in serious trouble. They better hope the red team screws up worse … which they apparently are, thanks to Ditzy Carrie with the garnish snafu and Bitchy Elise and her fish woes. Jennifer: “I can’t believe this bitch just brought up raw fish.” Heh. Poor Tommy, who apparently has the worst penmanship Gordon’s ever seen. Will he manage to slide by yet ANOTHER night?
Elimination
First Gordon knocks Bitchy Elise down a few notches; then Jennifer screamed at her repeatedly to shut up until—gasp—she actually did. What did I do to deserve this wondrousness? And could it be a sign that Bitchy Elise is going home? Because Gordon, apparently, is done fooling around. The teams have to select not two but only one person to go home, which means the selectee has a 50%, not a 25%, chance of leaving. So, it’s Tommy (duh) and Carrie (ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?) on the chopping block. Aaaaand … buh bye Carrie. Darn. I wanted Bitchy Elise to go before her. Tommy, you’ve got nine lives.
Hour Two
I knew better than to get my hopes up when Gordon told Bitchy Elise to take her jacket off … and yep, she’s safe. The bitch stays to royally bitch things up another day. Red team, if you really think she’s going to be any less bitchy now that Ditzy Carrie’s gone, you’re idiots. Oh, yum! Now, THIS a vacation I can get behind. Screw the sightseeing, massages, and ex-Playboy bunnies coming to your Vegas hotel suite. Send me on a food tour so I can eat Italian, Chinese, French, Greek, Mexican, Indian, and Jamaican. (Will: “Shabba!” Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Omg, dude just scored sooooooooooo many points with me. In case you didn’t get the reference, he was singing the 1993 hit “Mr. Loverman” by Shabba Ranks.)
It’s pretty obvious that they’re going to have to cook one of those kinds of foods when they got back to Hell’s Kitchen. I’d have been taking some serious notes, unlike Bitchy Elise—who is a chef, not a waitress, mind you—who moaned, “We tried seven different cuisines, but I wasn’t paying attention.” How very chef of her. And also, “I’ve never seen kumquats before today.” How very chef of her. Will LOL-ed me again with his “Ghetto goes to the beach” remark as Elise passed him on her way out. Accurate. She revels in fulfilling the ghetto, loudmouth, “you-betta-get-outta-my-face,” black bitch stereotype.
Dinner
Bitchy Elise made such a big deal (“I’ll do it myself!”) of the fact that Tommy didn’t score the Wellingtons—as if taking a knife and making shallow cuts is such as hard thing for a “chef” like herself to do—that I’m guessing this will come back up later. Tonight’s scallop waster is Natalie. And after she ruined all those steaks last episode (then tried to pretend Tommy was the only one who needed to go up for elimination), I hope she doesn’t think Ramsay’s overlooking her mess-ups. Uh oh. Elizabeth got a talking-to in the closet. Last time that happened, the talkee (Jonathan) went home. But maybe she’ll be ok, since Bitchy Elise effed up the Wellingto—WHAT? Did she actually just try to blame Tommy for the scoring on the Wellingtons? After ranting and raving earlier because he DIDN’T score them?!?!?!! Tommy: “I didn’t score a damn thing. Play the replay.” Which they did, and he was right. Ha ha haaaaa! Caught in a lie! Last time that happened, the liar (Douche Brendan) went home. But darnit, Natalie’s and Elizabeth’s disastrous fish services might outweigh her lying.
Elimination
Natalie (duh) and Bitchy Elise (FINALLY!) on the chopping block. You know, I’m firmly convinced that Gordon asks the chefs facing elimination why they think they should stay just so he can play the tape back later and laugh at it, lol. He’s already made up his mind. And he chooses … Natalie. I guess the previous day’s steak blunders coupled with tonight’s four or five returned fish entrees were just too much. Though it was only Natalie’s third time up for elimination but Elise’s fourth or fifth. And though Natalie owned up to her mistake, but Bitchy Elise blamed Tommy and threw a trashcan-kicking hissyfit. And though Bitchy Elise LIED TO HIS FACE. Gordon’s just going to keep riding the Elise Ratings Train all the way to the finale.
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