The Walking Dead: I Ain’t A Judas, 2/24/13

It’s the day after Guv’s attack. In the prison, everyone is arguing. Hershel, who’s mad cuz nobody listened to him and now Axle’s dead, still wants to leave. Rick, temporarily cured of his crazy, wants to stay. Merle, who’s being kept locked up away from the others (probably in case Michonne or Glenn snaps and tries to kill him), says they should have sneaked away last night cuz by now Guv’s likely got all the roads blocked off. Rick tries to just walk off, but Hershel yells at him to “Get back here!” and then crutches over to remind Rick that he once said, “This isn’t a democracy,” and now he has to own up to that, because he (Hershel) put his family’s life in Rick’s hands. Do something!!! Rick goes outside for a look-see. He thinks he sees something outside the gates? Dammit, Ghost Lori, NOT NOW!!!! Carl joins him … and timidly suggests that maybe Rick should stop being the leader and let Hershel and Daryl handle things; Rick deserves a rest.

At Woodbury, Milton and Guv are tallying their available number of soldiers. Thirty-five, if they count people over the age of thirteen. Guv wants them armed and trained asap. Total 180 from let’s-throw-an-ice-cream-social Guv, haha. Andrea enters, demands to know what happened at the prison. Guv innocently claims that Rick’s group shot at them for no reason. She asks him for a car. He says the roads are blocked, then tells her if she goes to the prison to stay there. She leaves. Outside, she comes across an angry Karen, mad cuz Martinez is after her asthmatic 14-yr-old son Noah. Andrea asks why he’s training people to fight instead of to defend themselves. “Wake up,” Martinez sneers. Yeah, Andrea, seriously. Later, as Guv looks over the new recruits, she tells him about Noah’s asthma. Guv doesn’t care. (Duh.)

At the prison … they’re still arguing and trying to figure out what to. They need to try to repair the outer fence, but doing so would use up pretty much all their ammo. And they’re low on food, too. Glenn wants to hand Merle over to Guv, use him as a peace offering. Daryl, of course, says no. Rick says no; Glenn says nobody asked Rick to live with Shane after Shane tried to kill Rick. Hershel, who’s now wearing a gun in a waist holster—nice  touch—says Merle’s military training may be useful, then goes  to visit him. He quotes some Bible, and Merle shocks and astounds by not only finishing the scripture for Hershel, but knowing the chapter and verse. Then he tells Hershel that when Guv returns, he’ll kill him (Merle), Daryl, and Michonne first, then everybody else, then Rick last so he’ll have to watch his fam and friends die. That’s the kind of man they’re dealing with. Elsewhere, Carol goes to visit Daryl to tell him she’s glad he’s back and warn him not to let Merle bring him down. MAKE OUT ALREADY, DAMMIT. Elsewhere, Merle approaches Michonne as she exercises. He tells her he tried to kill her only because he was following orders, and he hopes they can get past it. He leaves. The look on her face pretty clearly says she’d love to take her sword and relieve him of his penis.

At Woodbury, Andrea asks Milton to cover for her while she slips out for a quick prison trip. He says it’s a betrayal. She says take a look around! Woodbury is now an armed camp with child soldiers, and she just wants to go try to talk the others down before more people get killed. In his office, Guv removes his bandages and examines his destroyed eye, gritting his teeth and shaking with fury as he does so. Then he puts on an eyepatch. Darn. I still hate him, of course, but I’ve always found eyepatches sexy. Milton enters and reports that Andrea asked for his help sneaking out of Woodbury to go to the prison. Effing snitch. Guv tells him to help her. Out in the woods, Andrea and Milton sneak up on a walker. Milton holds it down while Andrea chops its arms off, then goes all Edward-Norton-in-American-History-X on it and curbs it. Well, she uses a rock instead of a curb, and she removes its jaw instead of kills it, but still. It totally reminded me of that scene. She secures the mutilated walker, but before they can leave, another approaches. Andrea kills it. Another approaches—and Tyrese run up and kills it. Allen, Ben, and Sasha join him … then the four of them just stand there staring at Milton and Andrea, wondering why in the hell they have a mutilated walker captive. Milton explains “it’s a diversionary tactic” to keep walkers away. Tyrese asks if they have a camp; Milton tells them about Woodbury. They’re chomping at the bit to get there; he offers to take them and tells Andrea to go; he’ll cover for her with Guv. She leaves with her armless, jawless walker prisoner—Wonder where she got that idea? Tyrese et al. go off to swell Guv’s ranks. Thanks a lot, Ghost Lori.

Hiding behind her captive, Andrea approaches the prison. Keeping watch, Carl and Maggie see her and alert the others. Michonne observes Andrea’s walker-prisoner technique and looks … aw hell, I can’t read her face. Rick lets Andrea in, but it’s not the warm welcome she’s expecting. He throws her against the gate, gives her a pat down, disarms her, makes her get on her knees, takes her bag, then yanks her up and hauls her inside. You can thank Guv for that, Andrea. Inside, she and Carol embrace, but Carol’s the only one happy to see her. Everyone else is very standoffish. They tell her Shane, T Dog, and Lori are dead, and Andrea's asshole new boyfriend tore down the outer fence, shot up the prison, and killed Axle. She says she didn’t know any of that; why’re they being so hostile toward her? Especially if they can make nice with Merle, who kidnapped and beat Glenn. Anyway, she came to try to convince them to talk to Guv. He’s gearing up for war, and he’s got soldiers and weapons. Daryl, Glenn, and Rick make it clear that the only way this is going to end is with Guv’s death. Rick storms off. Michonne and Andrea have a talk in the yard. Andrea accuses Michonne of poisoning Rick and the others against Woodbury; Michonne says all she did was tell them the truth about the place. Andrea says Michonne was hostile from day one; Michonne says cuz she could see that Andrea was under Guv’s spell. And still is. Andrea says she’s still at Woodbury cuz the people there need her; Michonna says she didn’t realize the Messiah complex was contagious. Haha! Andrea tells her to go to hell and starts to storm off; Michonne tells her Guv sent Merle to kill her (Michonne), and he would have sent Merle to kill Andrea, too, if Andrea had gone with her. But she didn’t; she chose a warm bed over a friend. Ooooooh, that hits Andrea hard.

At Woodbury, Guv offers Tyrese and friends food and clothes, says when they’re ready to leave to head west and avoid north. They say they know; they just came from there, ran into some crazy guy in a prison. Milton asks if they know the layout of the prison? Tyrese says he could try to remember. Guv says no rush, sleep on it, they’ll talk tomorrow. He and Milton leave.

At the prison, Andrea holds Judith while Carol gives deets on how Shane and Lori died. Then Carol makes me LOVE HER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER by advising Andrea to have sex with Guv, give him the night of his life, and then when he falls asleep, kill him. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa ha ha! Why, Carol! You vixen! You minx! Then it’s time for Andrea to say farewell. The give her a car; Rick returns her gun, tells her to be careful. In her rearview, she takes a long look at everyone as Merle opens the gate, then heads off. Night has fallen when she returns to Woodbury. She doesn’t bother sneaking in, just drives up to the gate in full view of the guards. She goes to Guv. He asks if Rick sent her back; she says nope, returning was her call. Cuz you belong here, Guv says, and they start making out. Is she doing what Carol suggested? Let us cross our fingers. At the prison, Beth sings. Yay! I dig her voice. And Glenn and Maggie are sitting next to each other and not fighting. Yay! Yesterday’s near-death scare made them realize life is too short, I’m guessing. During the song, Rick holds Judith as he confers with Hershel and Daryl. (Taking Carl’s advice, to some degree?) He tells them that tomorrow he’s going on a supply run. Daryl volunteers to go; Rick says no, hold things down here; he’ll take Carl and Michonne, whom I guess he now officially is no longer planning to run off. Good. Cut to: Guv’s moonlit bedroom, where he lies fast asleep. Naked Andrea stealthily gets out of bed. Gets her knife. Creeps over to Guv’s side of the bed. Raises the knife … and then lowers it and just goes to stare out of the window. Darn. Guess that explains the episode title.